One Hit Wonders
by YarningChick
Summary: The new home for my Cat Returns one-shots, two-shots, deleted scenes, and ideas that never evolved into a full-fledged story.
1. Music, Road Trip

A/N: Just a fun 'What if?' from All I Have Needed

Birthday Bash Prompt 1: Music/ Road Trip

Muta finished tapping on the computer, sending a somewhat disgruntled look at his teenage daughter next to him on the couch. "After we get this cleared up, I never want to hear about this nonsense again. Am I understood, young lady?"

Haru nodded, still beaming from ear to ear as she got her phone ready for the big moment.

"Now, try not to be too disappointed if they say no," Naoko warned while trying to make her excited daughter sit still on the other side of her, but she could see it was going in one ear and out the other.

The large man smiled in grim satisfaction as he raised his phone to start tapping. "Okay, here's the number, Hashi is watching Natsu upstairs, and the time zone in their area will make this a convenient call for them. Ready?"

His eldest child nodded again, more eagerly than before.

' _Poor Chicky. She's going to be so disappointed.'_ But since this was a safer and cheaper way of crushing her dreams, he punched in the number, set the phone to speaker, and set aside the laptop.

It rang for what seemed too long before someone picked up. The longer it rang, the harder a time Naoko was having trying to keep her daughter still.

"Greetings, you have reached the von Gikkingen estate. This is Adrian, how may I direct your call?" an elderly gentleman droned.

Even that was enough to excite Haru all the more, slipping off the couch to kneel at her father's knee, where the phone was resting. Her large brown eyes seemed larger still, as if they were trying to reflect a world's worth of hope as a smile of fondness overtook her lips.

"Could I speak to either the baron, or someone who's been close to him since they were kids?" Muta asked, rubbing his daughter's hair in an effort to calm her down. "I don't have any official ranking or business. I'm just a father trying to keep his daughter from doing something unbelievably stupid."

Adrian gave a small hum. "I'll retrieve his cousin. I'm afraid my lord is indisposed for the time being. Please hold for a moment."

Haru nearly bounced from her place next to her father's knee, racing across the room for her art bag and pulling out her favorite sketchbook so she could rifle through the pages as she walked back to her parents.

"Yes, sweetheart. You've shown us how Toto looks," Naoko reminded her tiredly as she pointed first to a handsome dark-haired man in one of her drawings, and then at a respectable older man dressed like a butler three pages after him.

" _Adrian,"_ she mouthed, since speaking was beyond her for the moment.

"Yes, Chicky," Muta fought not to groan, tapping his fat thumb on the armrest. "We'll know who's being crazy soon enough."

After a few more minutes, the line picked up again.

"All right, then. Please give me your name, and what seems to be the trouble?" a different voice asked, making Haru switch back to Toto's picture to give it a fond glance.

Her father took in a deep breath and prayed the man had a sense of humor. "My name is Muta Moon, and the problem is with my daughter. It's probably better that you handled her problem than the lord, since I don't know if he'll want to press charges over this."

Toto gave a small scoff. "It would take a great deal to make him go that far. What's wrong with your girl?"

Muta started twiddling his thumbs nervously as his teenage daughter begged him with her hands and eyes to keep going. "… There isn't really an easy way to say this, but… Haru is dead convinced that she was Lucy Cross in her past life."

There was dead silence from the phone.

"She's been convinced almost her whole life," Naoko added, passing worried glances with her husband. "We thought we convinced her to forget about England and Humbert and everything else years ago, but we just found out that Haru hasn't been saving her money for seven years to get a car. We tried to take her looking for one, and she admitted that she's saving up to come to the von Gikkingen estate right after she graduates high school next year. She's completely obsessed with going to see your cousin. Please. Can you talk some sense into her?" she begged.

Haru was kneeling next to her father's knee again her eyes wide with hope as the subtle moving of her fingers pleaded for the man to speak.

"Thank _heaven_ Humbert didn't answer this," Toto finally exclaimed with a tired sigh. "He would not have handled such a discussion well. But this should be easy enough to fix. Please give Haru the phone."

"She's a partial mute," Muta explained. "Her chords aren't working today, so the phone's on speaker."

"That's a puzzling condition. I don't think I've heard of it before," Toto mused before they could almost hear him shaking himself back to the previous conversation. "All right, Haru. Whistle once for yes, two for no. You understand why this would be difficult for me to accept?"

Haru pulled her head back so that her short whistle wouldn't hurt the noble's ear.

"May I assume that if your parents were willing to call me, you have proof that I won't be able to deny?"

Haru whistled once while signing at her mother.

"She says that if Humbert shared her final moments as Lucy with you, what she has planned will convince you. Honey, I still think you should pick something else to say to him," Naoko hissed, but her child shook her head stubbornly.

Toto's tone turned almost into a mocking challenge. "Ah. _That's_ how direct you're going to be about this. I'll make you a deal, Haru. Does your family have any plans for the coming summer?"

"Nothing concrete," Muta answered nervously.

"Excellent. Haru, if what you tell me, or however you plan to convince me, is enough to make me want to go running for my cousin, we'll pay for your entire family to stay at our estate for the summer."

Haru's smile turned devilishly smug.

"And if it isn't?" Naoko asked with a sickening pit in her stomach.

"I'll be able to confirm it isn't her, we all have a good laugh about this, and Humbert will never hear about it. He doesn't need any more heartbreak over Lucy. All right, Haru. Give me your best shot," the nobleman challenged.

It was the cue she had been dying for. Holding her phone close to her father's, she pressed 'play' on her music app.

" _I don't know what I'm thinking,_

" _Because all that I see_

" _Is his face screaming_

" _ **Mephistopheles**_ _!"_

Haru paused the music almost as quickly as she started it, giving a smirk to the phone as if she had already won the argument.

Her parents shared another worried look. Having their daughter insist she had been a baron's bride in a past life was bad enough. How she had insisted it ended, however, was a completely different story, straight out of a nightmare of a fairy tale.

There was no way, on heaven or earth, that something that ludicrous-

"Mr. Moon?" Toto asked formally, making the parents look down at the phone in intense worry.

"Yes?"

"Is Haru your only child?"

"N-no," Naoko answered instead, gripping her husband's hand like it was a lifeline. "We have a ten-year old boy and an eight-month daughter upstairs."

"Get your passports. Pack your bags. Give me your number so that we can align the best time for you to come."

"Wait, that _worked?_!" Muta yelped in shock, jumping from the couch and accidentally sending his phone flying.

Haru managed to snatch it out of mid-air, smiling happily at it before whistling a tune that neither of her parents had ever heard before.

Toto's voice was nearly full of tears as she finished. " _Yes_ , Lucy. I heard loud and clear. Humbert is going to go through the _roof_ when I tell him. We've missed you so much!"

Her smile turned very loving as her mother yanked the phone out of her hand.

"But-but- what about the _cats?_ " she demanded while shaking the device. "What about the business with the cats and the duel and the-?!"

Toto was still breathing heavily through his tearful joy. "The cats are the reason why everyone thinks Humbert killed her. Who would believe a story like that, even if he _did_ bother to try telling anyone?"

" _Not you two,"_ Haru signed smugly, making both of the parents flinch.

It wasn't hard to see that she was going to be gloating about this business for a while.

"… I guess this phone call **wasn't** going to be the end of this," Muta sighed, taking back his cell and glaring at it like the baron's cousin was in the room with them. "Okay, Haru's said more times than I've changed my socks that Humbert was never less than a perfect gentleman to her when she was Lucy. But if he tries to pick up where they left off as soon as we get there-" he began to threaten.

"I'll beat it into his head that things are different, now," Toto promised in earnest. "Twenty-six years difference would be a little hard to overlook, and I'll keep him from forgetting that fact."

Haru made sure to face the opposite direction of her parents before rolling her eyes in happy anticipation. _'Right. Because you have_ _ **such**_ _a history of successfully reigning him in when he gets excited.'_

xxXxx

A/N: the lyrics were from Mephistopheles's Return, the album Beethoven's Last Night by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I found this part so powerful, it was what gave my villain the name for All I Have Needed.


	2. Soul Mates

A/N; Basing this interpretation on a thought from surfing Pinterest, which was cute but had one giant flaw. This is me cracking the flaw wide open.

Birthday Bash Prompt 2: Soul Mates

So… _bored_!

Haru tried not to, but her doe-brown eyes trailed up to the clock again, which seemed to be frozen in time for the sole purpose of mocking her. She tried desperately not to groan or sigh too audibly, but the slow torture was more than she could take!

Thanks to her night owl tendencies, she always had trouble getting up in time for school, and detention seemed to be barely more than her after-school club at this point. **But** , because she had forgotten to switch out books the night before, she had nothing to do after finishing her homework.

Was that clock broken?! Did it need a new battery? Or worse; did she suddenly gain time-stopping powers through that chemistry explosion Hiromi set off earlier?

Ichigo from three chairs over moved slightly in her chair to better focus on the cute eye glass case she was sewing, proving that the cliché was not the case.

' _Why didn't_ _ **I**_ _think of that?'_ Haru lamented, giving herself a mental kick. _'Mom has an entire box of scraps she wouldn't care if I went through.'_ The plan was now firmly in her mind; as soon as she got home, she'd switch out both a new book and pack a small scrap bag with a sewing kit in case she ran out of things to do during detention. She tried again to look out the window, but she had the wrong angle to see anything more interesting than a passing bird. And thanks to the darkening clouds outside, all birds were probably seeking shelter from the impending storm.

' _At least I'm smart enough to leave a plastic bag for my books and a collapsible umbrella in my locker for emergencies like this. So_ _ **bored**_ _!'_ In desperation, she grabbed a pen and opened her notes to the blank pages in the back.

Which were missing. Because Machida had needed some extra pages, and knew she wouldn't say no.

Her heart ached even as the frustration seemed to build up inside her. Now she didn't have the guy OR something to fill in the remaining thirty minutes until she could escape.

' _Okay, Haru. Deep breaths. You're not going to throw a tantrum in front of the other inmates. You are a lady. You are a grown woman._

For whatever reason, the weakening sunlight made her arm seem paler than normal. As pale as paper, even.

' _You are… bored!'_ Knowing she could always wash it off when she got home, Haru brought her wrist closer to herself and started doodling a curly bracelet on her wrist. That would look normal enough for no one to pay her any attention when it was time to leave. Since she had all the time in the world, she took special care to make each curl as uniform as possible before switching to her red pen. Within the center of each curl, she made a little dot as if it were a gemstone caught in the net-like bracelet.

A smile finally crossed her lips. _'Hey, this isn't turning out half bad!'_ After the red gems were in place, she quickly rifled through her pens for a different color, but all she could find were black and her one red pen. _'Dang it! Maybe I could slip in a small sketchbook and some colored pencils when I get home. Mom's bound to have some that she isn't using right now.'_

Haru turned back to her wrist to start on a more delicate bracelet to compliment the first one… but dropped her pen before it could touch her skin again.

Right there, before her eyes, a blue line was forming underneath the inked-on bracelet. It twisted that way and this before breaking off and making a new line, slowly forming a sentence without pen or person.

 _ **Are you a ghost?**_

The brunette slapped her hand over the words, looking around as if expecting an axe murderer behind her.

"Hey, chill it, will you?" Sango yawned from the desk behind her, nestling his head back into his arms. "We're all trapped here, same as you."

Haru offered him a nervous laugh, but didn't trust herself to say anything else. _'I did not see that. The only one drawing on my arm is me.'_ She slowly raised her fingers enough to take a second look.

 _ **Are you a ghost?**_

' _Do not answer. Do not answer. Remember Chamber of Secrets!'_ Her hand disobediently retrieved the red pen and clicked it once.

 _If I were a ghost, you wouldn't have been able to pen that on my arm._

Her eyes were glued on the pale skin beneath that, hoping that there would be no- there it was again!

 _ **Your**_ _ **arm? I'll admit that the bracelet is lovely, but not something I would care to personally wear. Who are you?**_

It took three lines before he was done. It had to be a 'him'; the words were trailing down the sides of her arm, as if it were being written on a larger arm than hers. There was also something decidedly masculine about the formation of the letters.

 _Yes,_ _my_ _arm. I'm Haru._

' _Why did I admit that?!'_ she fought not to scream out loud. Whatever the unseen person was, she knew it was very inadvisable to give a supernatural being your real name. At least she didn't add her family name.

 _ **My friends call me Baron. Is there a symbolic importance to the bracelet?**_

Haru managed not to give a dark laugh while quickly explaining herself.

 _I'm trapped in detention with nothing to do. Homework's done, book's finished, and spare paper lent out. I'm half-mad with boredom!_

It took Baron a while to think of something to say to that. Haru started tapping her thumb impatiently as her heart pounded. Supernatural or not, talking to him was better than counting the seconds that refused to pass by.

When he started writing again, he was deliberately making his letters smaller, since they were nearing her elbow already.

 _ **May I inquire to the cause of your imprisonment?**_

Haru did her best to follow his lead and made her words smaller as well.

 _I'm a night owl, so I never make it to school on time. I normally don't mind detention, but there wasn't_ a _lot of homework today, and I forgot to switch out books_.

Writing that was difficult, since rubbing the pen on the inner part of her elbow was ticklish.

 _ **That fails to explain how or why you can draw on my arm as well as yours.**_

 _If you have a theory, I'd love to hear it._

She started tapping her thumb when he didn't immediately answer her. The seconds were slugging along again, but this time it seemed worse. She knew what the outcome would be when the clock finally struck the hour, but what about this strange conversation?

 _ **Sorry about the wait. I had to retreat to a lavatory since my sleeve wouldn't roll up any farther. We're running out of arm. Do you have a phone number?**_

Her heart seemed to freeze over. She stared at the question until the world seemed to sway in her vision.

 _ **Very well, here's mine. Please text me at your earliest convenience so that I know you're real.**_

"All right, everybody! Be safe going home, that's quite a storm brewing out there," Hashima-sensei released them, clearly just as happy as they are about getting out of the classroom.

"Wait, already?" Haru asked, tearing her eyes off the slowly emerging number sequence.

"Dang, Haru! You must have been bored out of your skull!" Sango exclaimed while staring at her marked-up arm. "What's your novel about?"

She swiftly slipped her arm off the desk and to her side with a nervous smile, praying that her sleeve was now low enough to cover up the self-writing numbers. "It's about two pen pals. Haven't decided where to take it, though."

Sango huffed like he didn't believe her. "Just say romance, Haru. That's where those plots usually end up going."

"Not always," she protested through a violent blush. _'I mean, just because Baron's a guy and I'm a girl doesn't mean…'_

But what if it did? She had never drawn on herself before, and it was clear he hadn't before today. What did this strange phenomenon mean?

Sango finished tucking his books into one arm and his pencils into one pocket while rolling his eyes at her. "Whatever you say, Haru. Don't forget paper tomorrow, because you don't have enough arm for chapter two."

"R-Right," she agreed, busying herself with grabbing her own books and pens until no one was left but Hashima-sensei. She then sped out of the classroom and tucked herself into a corner to write one last note.

Whatever was going to happen from here… she **was** interested in finding it out.

 _Give me 20 min. I left my phone at home._


	3. Role Reversal

Birthday Bash Prompt 3: Role Reversal

This was it. His final destination. Baron should have felt an overwhelming sense of foreboding, since this would be the last trip of his life, but all he could muster was a tired resignation.

' _Come now. You have wanted this ever since childhood,'_ the blonde man reminded himself as he carried a leather briefcase to the waiting airplane. _'It can't be any worse than what I'm leaving behind.'_

He was a young man that looked like he should have had the world at his feet. He was tall without towering, broad without the bulk, and cursed with a face that had brought him more pain than joy over the lonely years.

There was no shame to male modeling, he had been told many times over the years. The career, starting from his childhood and only ending five years ago, had been enough to keep him fed and out of rags while he desperately fought for the top places in his classes.

His green eyes narrowed angrily as he tried not to stomp his feet on the small set of stairs leading into the airplane. _'One would think that society would have more use for a man with a brain than one with a body that looks good in whatever atrocity my agent used to force on me.'_ He found his seat near the middle of the rows, and made himself comfortable, setting his briefcase on his lap instead of the overhang in case he felt the urge to read one of the books or scribble an insight into his notes.

But the world seemed to care nothing for his branch of technology. He had been less than entranced when that talent scout so long ago had talked him into that clothing ad, but the young man had not anticipated how hard it would be for him to break into another line of work. He lost count of how many times he had tried to explain to a prospective boss that he was an orphan, modeling had made better money than a paper route, and he was ready to leave that world behind to find a niche that felt a little less forced on him.

' _But now I'm gaining my wish, aren't I?'_ he asked himself sadly, doing his best to wait for the handful of other new recruits to find their seats. _'Mr. Moon made a point that if you make it past the first six months on Yoshioka Island, you could easily be stuck there for life with little chance for romance.'_

He flinched at merely thinking the word. Before he saw the internet ad that led to his interview with Mr. Moon, he would sometimes daily wish that he could pluck a girl out of one of his favorite books and not have to worry 'when' instead of 'if' the current girl he was giving attention to was undressing him with her eyes or trying to talk him into going to her place or his.

No. If all a real courtship had to offer him were harpies clawing for a meal ticket or a bit of 'fun', he was better off projecting himself into one of his science fiction novels. It seemed to be the only way he could believe that there could somewhere be a selfless, fearless, proud young lady that would look on her beloved as a partner. He was beyond tired of fighting back unspoken titles of 'servant' or 'master'.

Mr. Moon was impossible to miss at the front of the plane, thanks to his bulk as he made sure that everyone was in a seat and safely buckled in. With a small smirk of satisfaction, he reached for the microphone.

"All right, then. Everyone is accounted for, and I'm not interested in repeating airline procedures that most of you either already know or can make a good guess about." He held up a specially locked briefcase with one beefy hand. "But at least I don't have to worry about anyone trying to use their phone while we're in the air. After takeoff, there will be a special video along the route explaining a few things about the island that you'll need to know in order to not be shipped back to the mainland."

The intimidating man leaned forward slightly, making sure to make eye contact with each of the five occupants with a dark growl. "If you know what's good for you, you will _not_ forget any of the rules stated in the film. Because I very literally had to be chained up to keep the last rule-breaker from getting sent home; assembly required. There will be no second chances once we get there."

Mr. Moon's angry eyes seemed to linger on Baron as he emphasized each word, making the tawny-haired man fight back a groan.

It had only been the fast-talking skills he had cultivated after earning his master's that had enabled him to be on this plane. Mr. Moon had almost decided that Baron wouldn't make the cut as soon as he had laid eyes on him, but either pickings were slim or Mr. Yoshioka had overruled the recruiter when presented with the other choices.

Baron couldn't shake off the feeling that the rule-breaker had held the job that he had taken, which almost certainly meant that he would have to be better than his best in order to prove to his new superiors that he deserved his new position. If it meant wiping the sneer off of Mr. Moon's face, he'd scale a volcano if one happened to be available.

He felt no wrench of parting as he saw the gravel start passing under his window, or when the sudden surge of speed and angle slammed him against the back of his seat as the plane took off. He could only close his eyes and deliver a handful of parting insults in his mind alone.

' _I hope that orphanage burns to the ground. I hope every catwalk collapses on itself. I hope every self-absorbed, self-important, selfish brat develops giant boils on the nose and backside.'_ A less than gentlemanly smirk crossed his lips at how many models would suddenly be unable to strut around in underwear or swimwear. His luck wasn't good enough to hope for designers that would make an adjustment in trends to keep the blight out of sight.

But it was a private fantasy for a reason.

After ten minutes, Mr. Moon instructed all of them to close off their windows so that they would be able to see the screen imbedded on the seat in front of them.

Baron didn't really care as he adjusted his headphones and set his briefcase on the empty seat beside him. _'Doubtless it's going to be full of 'don't wander into the jungle by yourself' or 'don't go into the room that's marked as Dangerous and has a triple lock on it.'_

The company logo at the beginning of the film amused him. It may have been green and had the letters in a different font, but that didn't change the blatant nod to the traditional Disney opening that he remembered from old video cassettes.

" _Once upon a time, not that long ago,"_ the narrator began in a soothing tone as the screen faded from black to a scene at the beach. There was a couple walking along the sand, holding hands and smiling foolishly at each other.

' _Oh, for certain! Don't forget the lemon juice when you're done rubbing in the salt!'_ Baron tried not to growl out loud.

" _There was a couple in love. Despite the trials and differences that had doomed them to separate lives, they fought through every scandal, every hateful rumor, and somehow managed to carve out a new life for themselves after the desperate struggle to say their vows."_

What followed that narration came straight out of Baron's nightmares, and unfortunately, his memories.

The man was clearly wealthy, and in every picture that flashed across the screen, there was a new woman he was trying to pry off his arm, and the first few that had the red head from the beginning involved her slightly cowering behind him in plain but nice clothing as he gripped her with one arm and had the other one extended as a fist toward the camera.

' _Ah, yes. Once the paparazzi have a story to follow, you can't even keep your toothpaste brand private,'_ Baron concluded sadly, even as his right fist started rolling around in a rooting gesture. The ending result was predictable, but it was nonetheless satisfying when a newspaper clip finally announced that the two had eloped.

Baron's eyes widened at the man's name. _'Hasho Yoshioka? Why is he making his love story so mandatory for mere underlings? This isn't an attempt to rub in our faces that there won't be that many women on the island, is it?'_

" _Yes, everything was perfect for a time," the man seemed to reminisce as the photos became separated with short clips of the pair dancing in the starlight, enjoying romantic dinners, or just cuddling on a large couch and saying nothing at all._

" _The happiness only seemed to double when the beautiful young bride shared the sacred news that their firstborn was on her way."_

This one was a longer video, and now that Baron was paying closer attention, he could see that the footage of the couple was a good maybe two decades old.

" _Happy birthday, my love," the red-haired woman- Naoko- crooned from inside a gazebo, over the remains of what looked like what had been a pleasant breakfast for two. Her warm brown eyes were full of love as she set down the napkin and cutely began rummaging through one of her pockets._

 _The man laughed as he stood up from his side of the small table, deliberately walking around it enough to sweep the woman sideways off the chair in a dipping motion as if they were dancing. "You didn't get me anything, did you, dear? I thought I told you the only gift I care about is getting to call you my beloved wife." He gave her a rather serious kiss to seal the declaration of love._

' _I was kidding about the lemon juice!'_ Baron inwardly griped, closing his eyes to help collect his nerves before he embarrassed himself with a scene.

 _Naoko let herself get swept away by his adoration, clinging with both arms around his neck to make sure that she didn't accidentally fall. But when the kiss threatened to turn more serious, she carefully eased her legs off the chair and forcing her beloved husband to sit on the stone floor of the gazebo._

" _I think you'll change your mind when you see what I've got for you," she asserted confidently, placing a small yellow box wrapped with a red ribbon in his hand._

 _His answering smile of adoration was a shade tolerant, stealing one more little kiss before turning his attention to the tiny present. A forefinger and thumb were all it took to pull the bow apart, and the top of the box fell open as a result._

 _Hasho stared into it, the first true time he had taken his eyes off Naoko for longer than a snapped picture. As if only seeing the object wasn't enough, he turned the box enough to let his present fall into his waiting hand._

 _It was a baby pacifier._

Baron had seen much more creative ways to break the big news, thanks to the internet, but deep down, he couldn't help appreciating that this woman had to have full access to her husband's accounts, if not a generous allowance by then. Yet she still went for a simple approach that managed to be more poignant than just blurting out the news.

"… _Baby?" Hasho begged once he was finally able to speak, looking up from the binky and begging her with his eyes._

 _Naoko began crying, but she also laughing as she wrapped her arms around his neck, raining kisses on his face and neck as she tried to nod at the same time. "Baby! Our baby!"_

' _I wonder if my parents reacted like that,'_ Baron couldn't help thinking sadly. Management of the orphanage had changed many times just in the ten years he spent there, and enough of them had been bad enough to lose more files than just his. Without any history connected to his name, it took no effort at all for his agent to convince him that 'Baron' made a much better name for him than 'Humbert'.

" _Yes, all was bliss for the first trimester. But… in the second trimester… the wife was diagnosed with a particularly deadly form of cancer."_

 _The pictures that flashed before the screen were now tinged with a desperate hope. Naoko was in bed almost constantly now, becoming paler and thinner as only her belly retained some weight to it._

Baron had no trouble predicting the poor woman's fate. Before he realized what he was doing, his thumb had wandered to his mouth and he was nervously chewing on his thumbnail and praying for the unborn babe.

" _Because of the wife's selfless nature, her cancer was too advanced for the technology at the time to help her by the time her husband finally caught the hints that she wasn't at the peak of health. Since she and her husband refused any treatment that might jeopardize their child, they started looking farther afield until they met a certain doctor with a revolutionary idea."_

 _A younger man in a long white coat was seen shaking hands with Hasho, although his concerned eyes were on the now deathly pale wife, trying to sleep peacefully as the surrounding machinery measured her heartbeat and breath._

" _It was simply too late to save the wife, and further testing proved that the unborn child had the same cancer. The possibility of carrying the child to term, never mind how long the child would live afterward, was simply not there."_

 _The next photo was the most heartbreaking yet. The woman was clearly near death now, her eyes weak and desperately attempting to stay open as she and her husband shared a final kiss as the same doctor as before was putting a surgical cap over his spiky black hair. The surrounding area around the bed, covered with sterile sheets and equipment, made it clear that the man was going to operate._

" _But the young doctor had a slim chance to save the child. Now, at the moment of conception, a baby's entire DNA structure is already decided. He had already done extensive research on possible cures for cancer, and was permitted to try blending cat DNA into the unborn babe's genetic makeup due to a cat's unusually fast ability to heal."_

Baron blinked, not entirely sure that he heard correctly. "Surely not," he muttered under his breath, distantly hearing similar sounds of disbelief from the other passengers.

" _As this was the only way to give the child a chance, the remainder of the pregnancy had to be carried out in a special incubator. The mother did not live to see the end of the third trimester, but the experimental procedure erased all traces of cancer from the baby when the time for her birth finally came. However… There were unforeseen side effects."_

Baron gaped at the next photo. If he had seen the photo by itself at another time, he would have assumed some young girl had seen fit to dress up a pet cat in baby clothes as she slept in Hasho's protective embrace.

It was an adorable kitten, with brown fur patterned like the man's hair, but another photo when she was awake revealed that she still had the human eyes of her mother.

Baron had no choice but to admit that the contrast was surprisingly charming.

" _The man loved his newborn daughter so much, that he barely noticed how different his she was from any other on the planet. But since he knew that would be all the world would see, he retreated to his private island, and turned it into a fortress to protect his most precious treasure."_

But the following photos and clips had nothing to do with fortifications. Instead, they were treated to the kitten baby trying to learn how to stuff handfuls of food in her mouth, taking her first steps as her father's hands held onto hers.

 _One particularly moving clip had the child holding her arms out to Hasho with a smile full of love. "Da Da!"_

Baron found that he couldn't take his eyes off of her. Although she had almost toffee-colored fur where skin would be visible on anyone else, her dark brown hair grew longer, although the length hadn't a prayer of hiding her adorably triangular ears that twitched every time her father offered her encouragement. Her large brown eyes overflowed with love and trust when she looked at him, and more than one of the photos had the pair enjoying a nap together at whatever spot was convenient.

' _I wonder if she purrs,'_ Baron mused, but the question could hold for later.

When the kitten-girl photos reached the age of ten, the charmingly cute snippets of her learning how to ride a bike became slowly replaced with more challenging sports. Her cat genes were clearly a boon as the photos became almost entirely replaced with clips as she conquered gymnastics, fencing, acrobatics, and- oh dear!

Baron couldn't resist leaning forward and pressing his hands on either side of the screen as his insides froze in fear for the dear girl.

As she became a preteen, the kitten began using what he could only call 'X Game' methods to move about her island castle and in the jungle around it.

" _Haru, slow down! You're going to hurt yourself!" Renaldo screamed as he tried to reach the girl before she could slide down the banister of a long staircase, finishing the end of it with a perfect back flip. Her landing nearly landed her on her backside, but she was able to just keep herself from falling with a breathy laugh._

" _Oh, come on! Can't I have even a little bit of fun?"_

 _Then the clips gained a hard guitar solo as she kept experimenting, kept pushing herself even as her father and other concerned people tried desperately to keep up. But after a time, Hasho could be seen calmly sipping tea with one hand and awkwardly offering a biscuit over the railing with a resigned expression. A now teenaged Haru soon climbed past the balcony using the thick jungle vines, leaned over enough to catch the biscuit in her mouth and offer a muffled thanks as she continued her climb upwards._

Baron suddenly noticed that the better she became at such risky stunts, the more she moved away from the frilly dresses of her girlhood and more into leggings covered with a mini skirt or a belted longer shirt. The adjustment was probably to give her more freedom of movement while not worrying too much about how her tail would be able to accommodate this stunt or that.

He barely had time to wonder why simple pants weren't enough for her when the music abruptly changed from a hard on guitar solo and to Vivaldi's Spring.

 _With the music change, Haru could be seen demurely stepping down a hallway in a lovely purple dress and her longer head fur in a fancy bun instead of her customary pony tail. Instead of a wild grin that seemed to always be there, her expression was as composed as a queen's._

 _If not for her feline appearance, she could have easily been mistaken for a nobleman's daughter._

Baron suddenly started at his own thoughts. He had very literally watched Haru grow up in front of him, and her charm as a child could never be denied. But the young man had just had an impulse he had never experienced before.

For the first time in his life… he actually _wanted_ to talk to a young lady! Not as a nuisance, but as a person he wanted to see more than once!

 _An elderly woman carrying laundry entered the same hallway, giving the young woman a single glance. "Is it your father's birthday already, Sweetheart?"_

" _Some year he'll ask for a different present from me," Haru answered, letting her mask slip enough to send the woman a warm smile and veer towards her. "Is your knee feeling any better today? I can help if you need it."_

" _It's much better today, but thank you all the same," the woman assured her, taking the time to press an affectionate kiss against that furry cheek._

Baron couldn't help feeling jealous of that old woman. What did that fur feel like?

 _Haru was now finishing making herself comfortable behind a desk and facing to the left of the camera, once again in her preferred style of tunic. "Is this my punishment for laughing at you?" she asked through a small wince._

 _She looked a little younger than the last few clips, which meant that this part had been filmed a few years ago._

" _You should have known better than to test me where a camera was involved," the narrator answered shortly, as good as revealing himself to be Hasho Yoshioka._

 _Haru gave a small laugh as she eyed the camera a little nervously. "It's a lot easier to talk to these things when I know who's on shift for surveillance."_

" _Just pretend it's me, Sweetheart. See? I'm standing behind the camera. You know the rules, now make sure I do," Hasho nearly crooned as his frustration seemed to melt away._

 _The cat woman took in a deep breath for personal encouragement and laced her strange fingers together. Resting her chin between them, she attempted a warm smile. "Dad was originally supposed to lay down the rules, but he-um, kept getting overenthusiastic and I couldn't hold in my giggles. We'll see if I'm any better at this than he is."_

Sweet heavens, how could she be this adorable and not realize it?!

" _I don't know all of the clips he's using for this video, but I'm pretty certain that the point he was trying to beat into your heads is that I am surprisingly normal, all things considered. I am not an unthinking animal. I'm not Frankenstein's Creation. My completely awesome daddy is not named Moreau. I am just a teenager that can speak to cats-"_

' _She can do that, too?!'_ Baron thought out of pure jealousy.

" _\- and is a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Also, I have my daddy so wrapped around my finger, I'm_ _ **this**_ _close to being the actual ruler of the island." She held up a thumb and forefinger to illustrate the width of a common coin._

" _The reason that you were forced to renounce all contact with the outside world once you stepped into the plane is because Dad is dead convinced that my happiness will be flushed down the toilet if the world in general finds out about me. I have no ill intentions to anyone, so my appearance isn't really the world's business, anyway."_

Baron couldn't help but think differently. Certainly, there would be many to brand her a monster, but he also knew for a fact that she could easily gain more fans than he ever dreamed of for being a living 'cute monster girl'.

He didn't think that he had any preferences in that direction, but the sincere sweetheart was rapidly changing his mind!

" _If any of you had looked carefully through the contracts you signed, you'll see in the fifth paragraph, fourth sentence, that there is a clause to any action that endangers me or my privacy. It doesn't just mean that you won't be paid for your time on the island if you're needlessly rude to me; your mind will also be wiped of everything from the moment you stepped out of the airport," Haru explained, using as gentle of a tone as she could manage with an apologetic smile that showed off her cute little fangs._

" _Uncle Toto- I mean, Dr. Biggens, has been doing more work than just genetics, so don't bother questioning if a memory wipe is possible for the people that can't handle how I look or sometimes act. If you are polite about wanting off the island when your first contract is up, you still lose your memory, but at least you'll keep what you earn." Then she took in a deep, steadying breath while leaning back on the swivel chair as she tried to put her thoughts into words._

" _That's really what this whole video is about. I've grown pretty okay with how I look, and Dad doesn't anyone to mess with that. You treat me with respect, I treat you with respect, and we'll all be one big happy family."_

 _She nearly bolted upright in her chair as a new thought occurred to her. "Also, please pardon me for being socially awkward if we talk in person. I'm not that good with strangers for the first few months, and I'm even worse with people around my own age. But I really hope you like it here!" she wished them, giving one more almost frantic smile while waving at the camera._

 _After a moment she stopped and looked slightly upward. "How was that, Dad?"_

"… _Perfect. Just perfect," he swore, stepping around the camera and the desk in order to tackle his feline daughter with a fierce embrace as the screen slowly faded to black._

Mr. Moon stood up as the lights brightened, crossing his arms and giving everyone a death glare. "Are there any questions anyone would like to get out of the way?" he snarled in a challenge.

Baron's hand shot up like a lightning bolt, only his safety belt preventing him from standing up as well. Even if he got pummeled for asking such a thing, he **had** to know!

"Is she single?"


	4. Jealousy, Fisticuffs

A/N: Baron's best original line in this story is provided by Garbage CAN not Can't. This is partially based on my only dinner theatre experience (Beauty and the Beast!) and a nice talk with Catsafari.

Birthday Bash Prompt 4: Jealousy/Fisticuffs

This is what parenthood was all about, wasn't it? Doing something you don't care about for the sake of your child? She could have been snug at home, making more progress on her deadline and maybe listening to the radio for inspiration.

Instead, she was doing a favor for a comrade-at-arms. At least, that was how it felt.

"Reservation?" a tired-looking woman asked as the couple before them in line were escorted into the main theatre.

"It should be under 'Hashima' for three," Naoko answered, wrapping one arm each over her own daughter and the girl she had all but adopted by now, nudging her large handbag behind her so that Haru didn't have to bend around it for the embrace.

Hiromi was nearly bouncing in her sneakers with glee. All three of them had made an effort to dress a little nicer than usual, but Hiromi had forgotten her dress shoes at her own home. Naoko couldn't resist being grateful that Haru had given her the perfect excuse to keep her regular sandals instead of suffer through high heels for two hours.

"Ah, there you are," the woman said with a slight more enthusiasm as her pen jabbed at a line near the top. "Naru? Table number three's here."

The younger woman serving as a waitress this evening nearly bounced forward with a huge grin. "So which one's the birthday girl?"

"That'd be me!" Hiromi chirruped like a bird, making her best friend roll her eyes with a resigned smile.

"Right this way. Man, I wish my dad would do something like this for my birthday," Naru pouted, leading the three women to a round table that was very close to the stage. It wasn't far from where a single musician in medieval attire was contentedly playing on a lute to set the mood. Three places at the table had been set in a formal setting, but the middle place had a folded golden napkin instead of wine red.

"That one's yours," Haru asserted, easing the appropriate chair out for her friend before the waitress had a chance.

Hiromi blinked. "Are you sure you don't want to sit next to your mom? We could switch the napkins, I doubt Naru would tattle on us."

"I can handle one night of letting you be the center of attention, dear," Naoko soothed her, even though she had been looking forward to sitting next to instead of across from her child.

But a birthday was still a birthday, and she didn't want to risk a misunderstanding later. Her hands gently added pressure until Hiromi was sitting and Haru could push in the chair slightly.

The lighter brunette had to laugh at the familiar gesture. "Who needs a boyfriend with a friend like you, Haru?"

"Ha ha," she answered dryly, settling herself into the left seat as Naoko did the same on the right. Noticing that a program was where her plate would soon be, she curiously took a peak at the menu side. "Mom, what's bruschetta?"

"Toasted slices of bread with something on it," she replied, already fishing a quilt square out of her large bag. "It's a common starting point in Italian meals."

Hiromi couldn't help but giggle as she looked over the menu as well. "Italian Wedding Soup! Man, this is the _best_ time for this dish!"

"Other than an Italian wedding," Naru agreed with a laugh, already returning to her post to escort more guests to their assigned tables. "Don't worry; everything's been prepared without alcohol, and the bowl of shards is just stained glass candy."

"That's one less thing to worry about," Naoko muttered under her breath as she wove her needle into a time-consuming stitch. "Our bottle of sparkling cider made me nervous before I looked at the label."

"I'm pretty sure they would have checked I.D.s if they were going that authentic for the meal," Haru pointed out while looking over the program in half-interest, helping herself to a red shard and licking it like a lollipop. "We'd have probably ordered pizza and let Hiromi pick a movie if they were doing that."

' _That would have suited me just fine,'_ Naoko couldn't resist thinking in resignation as her needle continued to dance.

Taking in her daughter's best friend while her father was out of town was no chore, but his birthday request on Hiromi's behalf was definitely cutting into time that she didn't have to spare. Still, it had been a while since she had done something with her own daughter, and at least neither of them minded her bringing a bit of work to the theatre.

"Orange custard for dessert," the birthday girl announced firmly while pointing at the menu again. "I don't know what that is, but it sounds like ice cream."

"Well, more of a sherbet," the lutenist called from his chair with a roguish grin. "I got a small taste from the first batch this morning, and it wasn't bad."

Hiromi beamed happily as she looked around the theatre. Nearly all of the tables had occupants now. It couldn't be much longer!

It was still a good fifteen minutes more before the doors were closed and the waiters had finished passing each table a plate of the bruschetta.

' _Thank heaven we're close enough to the stage so I can work by the dimmed light,'_ Naoko couldn't resist being grateful for as the lights overhead grew faint. _'I just hope the actors don't take offense.'_

The lutenist got up from his chair to inch closer to the side door of the stage, letting his fingers steadily play softer and softer until stopping completely when he was safely out of sight.

Hiromi looked up around a mouthful of the soup, swallowing it and using the golden napkin to pat the broth on her chin away as Haru regretfully lowered the last of the bruschetta.

Instead of the stage, the actors came in from the main door, circulating between the tables in a slow and steady pace. As one, townspeople, noblemen, and everything in between chanted as one with their palms clasped to their chests.

" _ **Two households, both alike in dignity,**_

" _ **In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,**_

" _ **From ancient grudge to new mutiny,**_

" _ **Where civil blood made civil hands unclean-"**_

The dignified introduction was ruined when one of the bigger actors accidentally tripped over an unused chair that someone had forgotten to push back in with a surprised yell.

The somber mood was ruined. Nearly the entire room erupted into laughter at the classic slap-stick as the large man, blushing scarlet, hurried to his feet and snatched his fallen sword away from a curious three-year-old. His face was like a storm cloud as he stomped toward the stage, using his voice like a megaphone to try distracting the crowd.

"From forth the fatal loins of these two foes!

"A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life!"

The other actors joined in again, although more than a few of them had silly smiles that further dampened the attempt at a regal setting.

" _ **Whose misadventure piteous overthrows**_

" _ **Doth with their death bury their parents' strife."**_

" _Spoiler alert,_ " Hiromi breathed through a small giggle.

Thankfully, the next scene was free of unplanned incidents. Naoko got a bit worried when the big actor, playing the part of Tybalt, got a little too enthusiastic with knocking down the other actors with sword or fist, but thankfully the actor playing the prince showed up before any real damage was done.

It was definitely easier to tell which person was Capulet or Montague, since the outfits were color-coded. Montagues were all in varying shades of green, while those loyal to them had accents or hose of green. Red was the theme for the Capulets, and those that were loyal to the prince or neutral were in white, or brown for the lower born.

' _Which makes sense since Friar Laurence cared for both of the families.'_ Finished with the blue embroidery thread, Naoko spooned a few mouthfuls of the soup before searching through her bag for the red thread. _'I don't even_ _ **like**_ _Shakespeare! Why am I here if the only thing I like is my daughter, Hiromi, and the food? I could have taken us to a restaurant and been done with all this in a bare minimum of half the time.'_

After the prince was done breaking up the fight, Lord and Lady Montague started discussing their worries for their son with a taller actor with glasses serving as Benvolio.

It was soon clear why he had been chosen for that role. Everything about his demeanor screamed 'wet blanket'. It was such a shame that his long-standing friendship with Romeo wasn't enough for some of that 'think before you jump' mentality to rub off on the titular character.

After a while, a resigned sigh echoed through the room, making Naoko turn her head to see who was as 'thrilled' to be here as she was.

There was one actor that must have slipped in when the others had and stayed silent against the farthest wall until the crucial moment.

Naoko had to admit, he was a very handsome youth. Perhaps in college, well-built, and crowned with a thick head of strawberry blonde hair. He was dressed in a light green hose and a deep emerald doublet with gold embroidery that the quilter couldn't help but get distracted by.

But hey, it was a better alternative then checking out someone young enough to be her son.

Romeo was wandering aimlessly between the tables with a far away expression, almost absently pushing an empty chair to the table with one foot before another accident could occur.

" _See, where he comes. So please you step aside_

" _I'll know his grievance, or be much denied."_ Benvolio promised his aunt and uncle, properly stepping down from the stage and running between the tables.

It was almost sad, how believable Romeo made his heartbreak seem, even if some of the passages were slightly on the vulgar side on his hopes for the unnamed girl.

' _Why are parents letting their little kids watch something this crude? Why am_ _ **I**_ _letting Haru listen to something this crude?'_

Thankfully, her sweet angel was spending most of her attention on her soup before it got cold, although she was keeping one eye on the two men as Benvolio attempted to comfort, and Romeo refused the comfort.

The slight blush on her face said loud and clear that she wasn't checking out Romeo's gold embroidery like her mother.

Sighing with resignation, Benvolio wrapped an arm around Romeo and gently eased him to face away from the stage to speak more privately.

While the audience had been neatly distracted, Lord Capulet, Paris, and a servant had taken over the stage to speak of Paris' hope of marrying Juliet.

' _Not seen the change of fourteen years?!'_ Naoko started fuming again, attempting to calm herself before setting needle to fabric again.

The pretty blonde woman in all red she had glimpsed before in the chorus was definitely not a brand-new teenager, but the idea still made her blood boil. Forget Romeo's age; how old was Paris to insist this badly that he wanted to make a thirteen-year-old Juliet a mother as soon as possible? She was obviously still a baby herself!

Thank heaven society standards have evolved since then! But next time someone tried to sweet-talk her into watching Shakespeare, the quilter would be remembering all this.

The all-too cheerful servant was happy to take the list of names he was meant to invite to the Capulet feast, but remembers after leaving the stage by the side stair towards the tables that he can't read the list.

' _Yet another downside to having uneducated servants,'_ Naoko couldn't help thinking smugly as the servant pretended to run down Romeo and Benvolio to see if they could read the list. _'It could have potentially kept your daughter, nephew, prospective son-in-law, and many others from getting killed in less than a week if you had let them have a bit of schooling.'_

Romeo was delighted by the list, since the poor girl he was interested in was among the invited guests, but it was Benvolio who spoke as the servant went on his merry way. He drew the actor aside, towards the table where Naoko and her girls were enjoying their meal.

" _At this same ancient feast of Capulet's  
"Sups the fair Rosaline whom thou so loves," _Benvolio told his friend with repressed jubilation, waving a grand hand at Hiromi, who stopped licking a blue candy shard in surprise.

Romeo's eye had been to Hiromi to continue the small homage, but it almost slipped of its own accord to Haru instead. There his gaze stayed in a spell of wonder, and his mouth slowly fell open in astonishment. The rest of Benvolio's lines fell on deaf ears, and the lead missed his cue long enough to make people from other tables start squirming around to see why things had suddenly stopped.

"Um, crow?" Benvolio prodded, both with his voice and with an elbow, but Romeo continued staring at the brunette like he had forgotten how to do anything else.

Haru was now blushing at the unexpected attention from the handsome stranger, using her large brown eyes to unthinkingly perfect the 'deer in the headlights' look as she tried to shrink down in her seat to put some distance between them.

It was then that Naoko fully appreciated that her daughter had taken some pains to look nicer than usual tonight for Hiromi's special birthday dinner. Her simple handmade dress of varying green hues neatly mirrored Romeo's color scheme and eyes. By having the top part of her hair held back in a braided crown instead of the standard ponytail, she could almost have passed for one of the Montagues herself!

"… _She doth teach the_ _ **torches**_ _to burn bright!"_ Romeo finally breathed in complete appreciation, forgetting that anyone else was in the theatre. A different, gentler smile was playing on his lips as his green eyes grew tender.

Haru blushed redder than a Capulet tunic before almost frantically pointing a finger at her friend. " _Not me! Her!"_ she tried to remind him through a whisper.

Hiromi had caught on to what was intended to happen by now, but her ecstatic grin said loud and clear she didn't mind the change of plans. " _She doesn't have a boyfriend,"_ she tattled in a similar whisper.

" _Go for it_!" Naoko also encouraged, shoving her needlework into her bag for now. _'He isn't looking at her the way the Romeo so far would!'_

Romeo beamed at both the news and encouragement, but a horror-stricken Benvolio grabbed him by the arm and started physically dragging him away before he could prematurely continue the 'ne'er seen true beauty' speech.

Haru breathed a deep sigh once he was a good ten feet away, even if he was still fighting to close that distance again.

" _Yes! There sups the fair Rosaline thou loves!"_ Benvolio began again, his tone now verging on the edge of panic as he tried to remind the other actor they were indeed acting.

" _With all the admired beauties of Verona._

" _Go thither, and with unattained eye,_

" _Compare her face with some that I shall show,_

" _And I will make thee think thy swan a crow."_

The disappointment on Romeo's features turned to rage, making him double acrobatically on Benvolio until he was standing and had a fistful of the man's purple and green doublet by the throat. He had been shorter by a head's worth, but now he seemed to tower over poor Benvolio that now seemed genuinely afraid for his life.

" _One fairer than my love? The all-seeing sun_

" _Ne'er saw her match since first the world begun!"_ the lead snarled, more than willing to defend his lady from such slander. He even had one fist raised in a silent promise to beat better taste into the man if he spoke against Rosaline again.

Naoko couldn't hold back her enjoyment, even if she had bothered to try. Now that there was a girl Romeo actually liked, his enforced countenance had changed from the medieval equivalent of a whiny, horny teenager to the most chivalrous of knights. For her sweet daughter, no less! _'I take back everything I've thought for the past week! This is where I want to be!'_

Hiromi was grinning from ear to ear as she took a firm grip on Haru's arm to keep her from crawling underneath the table out of sheer embarrassment as the other tables caught onto what had caused the change in Romeo.

Benvolio fought to regain his composure and whispered something quickly before speaking again in a louder voice.

" _Tut! You saw her fair, none else being by,_

" _Herself poised with herself in either eye:_

" _But in that crystal scales let there be weighed_

" _Your lady's love against some other maid_

" _That I will show you shining at this feast,_

" _And she shall scant show well that now seems best."_

Romeo was giving him the death glare, and mentally counted to ten before dragging his friend back to the stage for their exit.

" _I'll go along, no such sight to be shown,_

" _But to rejoice in the splendor of my own."_ He managed to make eye contact with Haru at this, and did his best to offer an apologetic, adoring smile before he was swallowed up in the curtains surrounding the stage.

Haru moved her soup aside enough to rest her head on the table. "That did not happen. That did not happen," was slightly muffled by her brown locks.

Still beaming, Hiromi reached over with one hand to start rubbing her back in comfort. "That totally happened. That _totally_ happened, you lucky jerk!"

Haru looked up fiercely with a glare. "Not all of us like that much attention, _Hiromi_! This was supposed to be **your** birthday surprise! Your dad arranged it with the director, that's why you had a gold napkin!"

Hiromi couldn't stop impishly grinning as she used her other hand to start sucking on the shard again. "This is so much better! You're going to talk to him after the show, right?" she asked eagerly.

"What? No!" Haru was aghast at the thought, taking a quick look around the theatre for the exits. "If anything, I should leave before the next scene!"

"I wouldn't if I were you," one young man called out from a table over, still holding hands with his giggling date. "I'm on the fencing team with Baron, and he's never reacted to a girl like that before. Save yourself the embarrassment of having him track you down later, because he _will._ "

"I have your word on that?" Naoko pressed, one eye on the stage in case 'Baron' snuck another look at Haru.

Tybalt poked his head out instead, looking straight at Haru as if mentally weighing her. Tilting his head to one side as if mentally saying 'not bad', the head then retreated to the other side of the black curtain.

The college kid from the table nodded through a grin. "You bet, ma'am! Baron's next to nothing like Romeo off the stage. You won't have to worry if he's going to be a-"

" **FIGHT ME, PEASANT!** " Romeo suddenly roared, a chorus of violent sounds and surprised yells coming from the back stage.

The only evidence on this side was how the curtains were billowing and getting moved around quickly, as if a tornado were rampaging on the other side.

"Baron, don't! You're supposed to fake-kill him later! **Fake!** " someone could just be heard trying to reason.

Haru paled before burying her face in her hands as the sounds continued. "Somebody tell me that he's getting into fisticuffs over something other than me."

"Sorry, sweetheart," Naoko apologized, now too excited to return to her sewing. "Tybalt looked like he was going to say something right before the second fight broke out."

"Ye-eah. Just take it for granted that he won't put up with any disrespect to her," the college guy finished with a nervous laugh as his date patted him on the back with sympathy.

ooOoo

It took a while, but the play got back on track. After the scene that introduced Juliet and her nurse, they began the somewhat lengthy affair of 'getting the party started'. There were a few of the actors that were working around limps that hadn't been there at the beginning of the play, and one that was being especially tender of one of his arms. Nearly all of them were sneaking curious glances at Haru as they past by her table, but it was hard to read what they were thinking.

Romeo was still noticeable, of course. His small black mask helped conceal the force of his gaze, but regardless of where he was in the reverie, his eyes never really left Haru.

" _Please let me hide under the table,"_ she begged Hiromi, who still had a vice-like grip on her arm.

"Never," she smirked, pulled her seat a little closer to her friend to ensure that she didn't move.

The party was a little more three-dimensional than anticipated, since the actors were spreading out between the tables again, as if all the theatre were a part of the stage. Naoko had to admit that it made her feel like the play was slightly more real, but she had to admit that she was really looking forward to when Romeo _finally_ had a chance to talk to her daughter!

Juliet, looking every inch a princess in her scarlet gown and flowing golden hair, managed to dance close enough to their table with a random Capulet guest, daintily helping herself to the big red rose on their floral arrangement. She held it to her nose to artfully partake of its fragrance, resting one hand on the tablecloth as she paused in her merrymaking. " _Psst, Rosaline,_ " she whispered, letting the rose mask her lips to anyone that wasn't at their table.

Haru looked up at her as if she feared the worst.

" _I'm letting you have my share of the custard after the show for what's about to happen. Sorry in advance,"_ Juliet whispered as gently as possible while sneaking the girl a sympathetic look.

Haru opened her mouth to make the standard inquiry, but started blushing again as Romeo managed to say above all the suddenly softened noise;

" _What lady's that, which doth enrich the hand_

 _Of yonder knight?"_

"Oh, please no," Haru choked, catching onto Juliet's strategic placement.

Romeo's sudden infatuation with her had been anything but subtle. But with Juliet standing right next to her, it enabled the illusion that the sweet flowery speech was really directed at her instead of some stranger trying to mind her own business.

"Hang in there," the Capulet escorting Juliet murmured, casually reaching back and patting the poor girl's hand. "What Baron lacks in subtlety, he makes up for in everything else."

Haru had her face down on the table again, making an agonized groan as she tried to drown out the flowery speech with her hands to her ears.

' _Poor Haru,'_ Naoko couldn't think without resisting a giggle. _'She's never gotten attention like this from a boy before. I hope he's at least a gentleman once he gets all the Shakespeare out of his system.'_

" _Did my heart love 'till now? Forswear it, sight!_

" _For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night,"_ Romeo finished crooning like a lovesick idiot.

Juliet comfortingly patted Haru's head once Romeo was done swooning, gave a sly wink to Hiromi and Naoko, and rejoined the party as the focus switched to Tybalt and Lord Capulet.

"Nice to know she isn't mad about this," Hiromi whispered to Naoko, who nodded her agreement before reaching across the table to nudge her daughter's arm.

"Please stop that, Haru. You're too old to pout like this."

Her child lifted her head enough to level a glare at her mother with one eye. "You're not the one everyone's staring at this time. Sorry, but I'm Dad's kid on this."

Naoko felt her heartstrings twang violently at the reminder. She gave a deep, reminiscing sigh as she took hold of her daughter's hand, dragging it across the tablecloth so that she could continue to grip those familiar fingers.

Hiromi understood the pain of losing a parent, so she reached forward to lay her hand on top of theirs. "We're still here for you, Haru. You're not doing this alone, you know."

That glare softened into a loving glow as she slowly sat up, keeping their hands in hers until it was resting in Hiromi's lap. Naoko scooted her chair a little closer to Hiromi's to make the clasp a little less strained but kept an eye on who she was dead certain was her future son-in-law.

As expected, when he had to do the 'pilgrim small talk' with Juliet, she was once more between them in such a way that Baron could see Haru over one shoulder. His eyes were still gentle and adoring as they looked at the brunette, but when it came time for the first kiss, he actually blanched. His eyes turned wide and panicked as they darted between Juliet and Haru, but what had been said couldn't be taken back.

Naoko could see a mischievous smirk on the side of Juliet's face as she intentionally lowered her head for him to press a kiss to her forehead instead. He did so with a grateful smile, then carried on as if the kiss had been normal.

There was a mixed reaction from the dinner participants. Some of the ones that were a little farther away had obviously been hoping for a real kiss, but the ones closer to the front were passing thumbs-up to the true object of Romeo's affections.

"Quick thinking," Haru couldn't help muttering with a wan smile, giving small hand waves to acknowledge the bits of encouragement complete strangers were offering her.

Yes, everything was going surprisingly well for the remainder of the scene. Romeo found out who Juliet was, although he should have known from crashing a Capulet party, and he was mournfully leaving as Juliet began inquiring her nurse as to the man's identity.

But then Romeo made the mistake of looking over his shoulder for a last glimpse of Haru. As such, he didn't see the one chair left out by a patron that was paying a quick visit to the bathroom.

"Look out-" Haru tried to warn, but it was already too late as the man tripped on the chair and scraping one arm against the table's edge.

There must have been an exposed nail or sharp edge that had been overlooked, because the sound of ripping cloth was surprisingly deafening.

Fighting back a groan of pain, Romeo looked down at the rip that had turned half of his sleeve into an open one, exposing the snow white tunic underneath. Blushing terribly, he stumbled to his feet while using his other hand to hold the tear together as he made a hasty exit to the door that lead backstage.

Naoko took no time at all for her decision. Getting up from her seat, she marched around the table, grabbed her daughter's hand, and started dragging her to the same door that Romeo had disappeared into.

"Mom?" Haru asked in a horrified whisper, almost as if she knew what her mother was planning.

Mercutio stepped in front of them with his arms out in a blocking gesture. "Now's a really bad time," he nearly begged in a whisper as Juliet and her nurse spoke in louder voices in an effort to distract the dinner guests from Romeo's embarrassment or Mercutio's attempted intervention.

Naoko threw her large bag into her daughter's surprised arms and pushed her a little closer to the actor while keeping her own voice just as low. "My daughter's been making her own clothes for years, other than school ones. She can handle Romeo's doublet."

" _Mom!_ " Haru hissed in mortification, but Naoko only returned a steely smile.

"If _I_ go fix his doublet, what kind of information do you think I'll give him before it's done? Besides, you're faster at hand-sewing than I am."

Despite herself, Haru managed a small glare while holding the bag to her chest. "Well, you're the one that's always on the sewing machine for work, what choice do I have?"

Mercutio took a brief second to look over Haru's well-fitted dress before clasping his hands to her with a heavy breath. "We can't keep a tailor to save our lives, and we desperately need a good one right now. If Baron hits on you harder than you can handle, I'll knock him on the head until he behaves."

Haru still looked sick, but at least she understood there was no time to work with. "Lead the way," she invited with a weak smile, making him beam and wrap an arm around her shoulders to encourage a fast walk to the door that quickly swallowed them both.

"Sorry about robbing you of Haru for the rest of the night," Naoko apologized to Hiromi as she claimed her seat.

The birthday girl was smirking as she carefully chose an orange shard to lick. "What do you think her chances are of walking away without a date?"

Naoko beamed while letting herself suck on a green shard. "Nonexistent."

Hiromi wickedly giggled her approval. "Lucky jerk."

xxXxx

For clarification:

Romeo- Baron

Juliet- Louise

Benvolio- Natori

Mercutio- Toto

Tybalt- Muta

The Prince/Director- Lune

Capulet servant- Natoru


	5. Happy Birthday, Wildcard

Birthday Bash Prompt 5: Happy Birthday/Wildcard

Or, Part 2 of Soulmates

Baron couldn't resist pacing up and down the long breakfast table, still trying to make sense of the strange phenomenon that had started his day. "This is your doing," he accused yet again of a seraphic old woman with bright cheerful eyes.

"Oh, I _hope_ so," she crooned happily from her cozy chair that was heavily padded with pillows and blankets so that she could stand watching the proceedings. She was finishing her bowl of porridge and following it with a bit of toast; the most anyone had seen her eat in one go in months.

"Okay, I found a bit more," Renaldo announced as he furiously pounded on his little laptop. "The name is definitely Japanese, and the time difference is just right for her to be getting out of detention, so the girl's clear on that score."

"Does her name have any meaning?" Baron asked, pausing long enough to glance at his advisor, who grunted in response.

"It means 'Springtime'. It's as common as 'Ann' or 'Jane' here, so we're going to need more information if we're going to find out who or what Haru is."

"This is **your** doing, Grandmother," Baron burst out for perhaps the twentieth time since the marks on his arm had appeared.

"You can thank me later, dear," she smirked without the slightest trace of remorse as she sipped her morning tea.

"Baron, I think you're being a little quick with the blame," his best friend tried to soothe him. "I mean, if all it took for someone to find their soulmate was for a relative to make the appropriate wish on a birthday cake, there would be precedents to some stranger writing on your arm from another continent."

"There _are_ precedents, Toto," the elegant woman nearly purred, leaning back into her cushions with a contented smile. "Isn't it a strange coincidence that she wrote with a red pen, and there are certain stories involving a red thread?"

Try as he might, Baron couldn't fight the blush that crept over his neck and face. "She used red on the bracelet! It was likely still in her hand when she chose to respond!" he protested, rolling his sleeve up again for her inspection. But then he froze at what was now on his arm.

The red words were melting together, swirling and blending until he only knew what was written because Haru's words were nearly engraved into his mind.

"No!" he nearly screamed, gripping his arm as it seemed to drip with blood, yet it didn't drip off him.

Toto rushed over to inspect the arm, his anxious eyes screening for details. "There, did you see right there? It looked like a large raindrop slapped that letter right off. She must be walking through a bad rainstorm to have her arm looking like this in mere seconds."

"Researching that," Renaldo informed them, madly tapping again as the elegant dame sat up in her chair with a terrified expression.

"What about your number? That didn't wash off, did it?"

Baron forced himself to calm down as he kept staring at his arm. "My ink is staying the same. More than likely it's because it was written on my arm instead of hers. She'll still have it if whatever link happened between us is broken now."

"Hey, there _is_ a big rainstorm over Tokyo!" Renaldo exclaimed in surprise, now wincing at what his screen was showing him. "She must be one tough little lady to be walking through **that**."

The sweet grandmother had relaxed now that the mysterious girl wasn't lost, a smirk creeping across her lips as she adjusted a blanket over her lap. "Of course she's strong. My little Humbert has never been taken with helpless damsels."

Baron couldn't resist a guilty blush as he leaned over Renaldo's shoulder to take a look at the storm threatening Haru. "It's no crime to favor a girl with personality. I'm blaming you as well as Mother for that preference, Grandmother."

She beamed lovingly at the compliment, but couldn't resist a yawn. "Toto? Would you be a dear and help me to that couch? I don't think I would care to miss on the proceedings."

"My pleasure, my lady," The dark-haired youth agreed in a heartbeat, nearly jumping to his feet for the treasured monarch.

"You _do_ realize I'm not going to be broadcasting our conversation, yes?" Baron asked rather pointedly. _'As if it weren't embarrassing enough for Toto to be reading everything we were writing to each other out loud.'_ "I didn't wish to wait alone, that's all. Has it been twenty minutes yet?" he asked while checking his grandfather's pocket watch.

The Lady von Gikkingen was half leaning and half being carried by Toto to the couch Renaldo was sitting at. "I don't know if I'll live long enough to meet her, my treasure. I simply want assurance that… well, I know better than to actually say what I wished for yesterday."

"Despite your glee that makes it clear as crystal," Baron couldn't resist adding.

Once she was settled into the couch, Toto went back to the table for the discarded blankets.

The matriarch gave him a smile full of love. "I still refuse to jeopardize your happiness, Humbert. Just remember to tell your children how much their great-grandmother loves them."

"It's not exactly confirmed that-" Baron was cut off as his phone _finally_ gave out the tune that spoke of a text. His hand was nearly a blur as it rose up to eye level and automatically tapped to see the message.

The first thing he saw was a photo of a young woman's arm, almost deathly pale under the bathroom light. There were faint traces of her red ink, but his blue words were still clear as day. He could even see part of her dripping school uniform in the mirror.

 _I apologize if this is the wrong number. It's been a very surreal day. If it's the right number, would you mind waiting an extra ten minutes? I almost had to swim home through some bad weather, and Mom's making me take a hot shower so I don't get sick._

"She's _real_!" Baron exclaimed in relief, rolling up his sleeve so that he could attach an arm photo for his own authenticity.

 _ **It's the right number, Haru. Would you mind calling as soon as your business is done? I'm having trouble reining in my curiosity.**_

 _Same here. Don't worry, I take quick showers._

"What did she say?!" the other three nearly demanded of him, making the young lord look up with annoyance as he cemented the new number as a contact.

"She's taking a hot shower to make sure she doesn't catch cold from the storm. She'll call when she's done."

"Can I see your phone?" Renaldo asked, holding his fat hand out for the device. "I could get a lot of information if I had her number."

Baron looked at his phone, trying to still his own emotions. "That feels the same as opening a present before Christmas."

"You _do_ have holdings, dear," his grandmother reminded him with a hopeful smile. "We'll need to give her a background check sooner or later."

Well, that much was true. Part of the reason he hadn't been all that interested in dating until now was because the girls that threw themselves at him had a good idea of his lifestyle. Even if they hadn't, his rank was worth trouble by itself if his impressive looks weren't.

He reluctantly handed the phone over. "As soon as she calls, I'm taking it back."

"I only need it for a few seconds," Renaldo assured him, his dark little eyes dancing between the cell phone and his fat fingers as they danced across the keyboard. "There, you can have the phone back. A-and… We got her! Haru Yoshioka: age seventeen, a junior at Jinashi High school. Oh, here's a photo!"

Baron was usually very conscious of what was his property and what wasn't, but this was too important for such trivialities. He yanked the laptop from his advisor in order to see the one who may indeed become his future wife.

She had large brown eyes, big enough that he could almost drown in them, even in a photo. She was pretty, but it was a simple kind that took no special pains to impress anyone. She had medium brown hair only a shade or two darker than her eyes, up in a simple pony tail that was being teased slightly by an unseen wind as her uniform was similarly pulled against her. Her shy, uncomfortable smile made it plain that Haru was not one that enjoyed being in front of a camera.

She was, as far as Baron was concerned, _perfect._


	6. Tea Party

A/N; This was pretty much the only scene I could come up with when I first got the idea to do the fairy tale 'Bearskin'. Since I couldn't come with much other than one vague scene, I forgot about it until now. The original sisters were going to be Hiromi and Chika like I did in 'Rebel of my Destiny', but that felt a little too cut and dried in how it would play out.

And then my mind remembered a different set of sisters I've used, and well… it's almost sad how much more sense the father's actions are now.

Birthday Bash Prompt 6: Tea Party

"So, would this dress be better for the dinner party tonight, or should I go more traditional this time?" Ahiru begged, gesturing at the two ball gowns draped lovingly over her bed.

Rue tore her eyes off of her book in order to glance at the two dresses, combing back some of her black curls in order to do so. "That depends on what mood you're in. I'll be wearing my red gown."

"That one again? It makes you look like you're in the army," Ahiru complained as their other sister put her sewing down to examine the dresses.

Rue shrugged before returning to her book. "Mytho thinks it's a good color on me, and Father agrees. Of course, _you_ could show up in a potato sack and Fakir would like it."

"Well, she _is_ the only one that can make him smile. I think the yellow one will look better against her hair color," the middle sister offered. "The blue and grey one makes me think of tea parties, and the yellow one will give her legs more room to move. You _were_ planning to dance, weren't you, little sister?"

Ahiru gave her second oldest sister a worshipful look before wrapping her arms around her waist for a deep hug. "At least _one_ of you offers decent fashion advice. So what are you wearing tonight, Haru?"

Haru sighed while returning the embrace. "Probably my blue one, since I've been forbidden from the grey one and you're wearing your yellow."

Rue fought back a small laugh as she reached to her vanity for a brush and started running it through her bouncy hair. "You do have to admit that shade of grey is very close to white, Haru. It would spread rumors that you and Lord Waul are going to beat me and Mytho to the alter."

The brown-haired sister felt herself die a little inside, but she returned to her sewing like nothing was wrong. "No fear of that, Rue. Father would never stand for it." _'He can barely stand that custom dictates I marry before_ _ **Ahiru**_ _.'_

If anything, there was only one reason the marquis could stand his second child being courted at all.

Quite nearly on cue, their bedroom door opened to reveal a young maid with two thick ponytails. "Lady Haru? Your father is requesting your presence downstairs."

"What, Father's back?! Ahiru squealed and made a run for the door as Rue excitedly placed a bookmark within her pages.

Despite knowing what it meant when he wanted to see her alone, Haru very calmly stepped in front of the door to block the younger sister off. "Don't worry. You know full well he will come up soon enough. I'm sure what he has to tell me won't take long." Her tone was calm as she folded and slipped her sewing into a small pocket of her plain mauve dress.

"Oh, come now," Rue complained, placing her hands on her hips while giving her brunette sister a soft glare. "What could he say to you that he wouldn't say in front of us?"

' _Oh, I don't know. That he's using me to pay off his debts before you become queen?'_ "I'll let you know if it's important," she lied, giving Ahiru one more squeeze and slipping out the door before either of them could follow. "Study? Library?" she quickly asked the maid.

"The foyer. He has a… um. Guest," Lillie finally phrased with an uncertain smile.

Haru decided not to waste time on more questions. Although it was unladylike to run, she still managed to get to the stairs in record time, and only her father's presence at the bottom could keep her from sliding down the banister to quicken the pace.

"What took you so long?" he hissed in a surprisingly low tone as she performed the delicate balance of descending the staircase in her high heels without tripping or falling. It would have been easier if custom didn't dictate corsets and heavy petticoats, but years of training didn't count for nothing.

"My sisters wanted to know what you needed just me for," she explained while she had the chance, her heart beating like mad as she kept one hand on the banister, even after reaching the bottom step.

As suspected his expression turned a shade more gentle at the mention of his other two daughters, but the steel soon returned. "It appears you're getting what you want, after all. I brought home a much richer suitor than Lord Waul for you."

' _I could have almost have bet money on that,'_ she inwardly groaned. Being a future brother-in-law to the king was something most noblemen would pay through the nose for.

He gripped her by the arm, and almost painfully pulled her close in order to whisper in her ear. "By 'rich', I mean 'more money than even the king'. He has promised more than a king's ransom if you are to his liking. Go into the library, and **be** to his liking, even if it kills you. Understand?"

' _For the chance to escape Lord Waul_ _ **and**_ _you?'_ Although she didn't mean one ounce of affection in the gesture, Haru patted his arm and turned her body toward the library where the rich suitor was waiting. "Please attend to my sisters. I will attend to our honored guest."

That was the closest to a warm smile she had ever seen the marquis give her. It was a shame it only lasted long enough for him to release her arm and run up the stairs.

' _Maybe this suitor won't be so bad. He's at least insisting on a meeting before trying to arrange anything permanent. Better than that count that thought I was going to come with a dowry, that's for sure.'_ Steeling herself and taking in a deep breath, Haru squared her shoulders, held her head up like the lady she supposedly was, and fixed a polite smile on her face as the designated chaperone of a butler opened the door to the library.

Her jaw barely had time to drop as a name came out in a stumbled gasp. " _Catskin?_ "

There was little doubt of his identity. There were only rumors of one giant cat that walked around the seven kingdoms as a man. His orange and cream fur was tousled and messy, but there was no denying that tail that swished this way and that with nerves as he looked up from his worried pacing.

For supposedly being wealthy beyond measure, his clothes looked like they belonged in a rag heap. Almost all of him looked like he should have been there.

Catskin offered her a nervous smile and bow when he saw her. "I see my reputation proceeds me. I trust you've heard nothing good?" he asked with a certain resignation.

More intrigued than afraid, Haru let the butler close the door behind her to get a closer look at him. He didn't smell all that clean, but she did her best to ignore it in favor of satisfying her curiosity. "The rumors my sisters and I hear are very muddled, and the worst ones are clearly exaggerated. Not to be rude, but you don't have the right build for someone that's eaten every fish in the sea," she added, hoping to high heavens that he had a sense of humor.

Catskin could only shake his head and roll his large green eyes. "It would take a much more impressive glutton than myself to even _attempt_ such a feat. Honestly! If I so much as help a child up when they trip over a rock, it inspires a mob to materialize with pitchforks."

' _Poor man,'_ Haru couldn't help sympathizing. "Well, I promise not to scream out the window for one." A glance at the clock startled her. "But I could ring for tea, if you're interested."

His green eyes lit up at the prospect as his strange mouth fell into a dreamy smile. "I haven't had tea in two years."

"I'll ring for some," Haru promised, turning enough so that she could pull on the correct rope on a nearby rope.

"Actually, Lady Haru," he called out before her hand touched the rope. "I… used to be very good with tea blends. If you would not object."

Her large brown eyes turned back to him, her hand still extended for the rope. "I… _could_ show you to the kitchens," she offered.

He grinned happily at the prospect, his arm almost automatically offering itself to her. But then he started at the sight of his own arm, like he couldn't believe his own daring.

Deciding that he could be trusted, she caught the arm as he tried to reposition it behind his back out of embarrassment, linking it comfortably in her own. "Right this way," she directed with a smile, tugging him gently to the door that the disgusted butler was opening.

He numbly let her lead him out of the library and down one of the many halls of her father's manor. "… You are… being disturbingly calm about accepting me as your suitor."

"I have completely selfish reasons, Catskin," she assured him with a warm smile. "I've been curious about you since rumors have reached the capitol, and I don't care much for the suitor Father was planning on selling me to before you came along."

The tall feline gave a sound of incredulity before tugging her to a halt. "What makes this suitor so repulsive that _I_ look like a catch by comparison? Is he old enough to be your grandfather?"

"That would be the only thing to make it worse," Haru muttered under her breath, taking a deep breath before looking up at him. "He's young and handsome enough, but his idea of a wife is a silent ornament that hangs off his arm for social functions. It's all I can do to keep myself from falling asleep when Father arranges for him to escort me, or from strangling him when he decides my opinions for me. You are already a better conversationalist."

He kept staring at her, so she tugged on his arm to keep heading toward the kitchen.

As she did so, she caught a glimpse of the scandalized butler behind her. "Father already knows what I think of Lord Waul, but you can tell him I repeated myself if you feel the need, Takeshi."

He made some more shocked noises, but she wasn't slowing down for the chaperone or the half-cat that was completely shocked at her blatant honesty.

Haru looked up at him with a little annoyance. "You _did_ want me to sample your tea blend, didn't you?"

"Y-yes," he stammered, still staring at her as she half-dragged him to the kitchens. But there was a smile on his furry lips as he continued to study her, and now that he had the assurance that she wasn't going to pull away…

He tightened his own grip on her arm.

ooOoo

"… so, of course I couldn't resist asking 'cat got your tongue?'" Catskin nearly purred, making the girl on the other side of the simple table laugh, not bothering to hold it back anymore.

The table was in a small corner of the kitchen that the cooks usually ate their own meals on, and the usual occupants of the kitchen were going out of their way not to disturb them. If the brown-haired noble had bothered to look at their expressions, she would have been able to see both the disgust and the disapproval in their eyes at her familiarity with the filthy feline.

Unfortunately for them, her attention was fixed elsewhere. "So, did he ever answer you?" Haru asked eagerly, holding her teacup with both hands so she wouldn't drop it again in her mirth.

He smirked around his own teacup while taking a sip of their third batch of tea. "With my hand in his mouth? I doubt I would have understood a thing if he tried."

They both had a nice laugh over the latest amusing story.

"Go on. Your turn," Catskin urged once he had control of his mirth.

Haru took in a few cleansing breaths, still smiling wider than she had in months. She opened her mouth to speak but a polite cough from the doorway captured both of their attention.

The young maid from before curtsied respectfully. "My lady? Your sisters asked me to remind you of the ball tonight. If you hurry with the preparations, you'll only make them a little late."

Haru looked across the little table at her feline companion, who was quickly losing the light in his beautiful green eyes. "Would you be a dear, Lillie? Tell my sisters to go on without me. I'm having a splendid time with Father's guest."

Lilie wasn't very good at hiding her shock. "… Well… if you're certain…"

"I am. Wish them luck for me," the young noblewoman assured with a smile before turning her attention back to a now ecstatic feline. "All right, Catskin, here's a good one. My little sister Ahiru has always loved ducks, and we get them every year in the pond out back during the migration. I can't count all the times a governess had to drag her away from the pond if Rue or I weren't fast enough. One time, she got so mad that no one would let her play with the ducks, she intentionally ripped one of her pillows open and in her own words 'made myself a duck, and my dolls are ducks-"

Catskin burst out laughing again.

"… and the nursery is a duck," Haru added through her own mirth. "It was only one pillow, but it went _everywhere_! _'my bed is a duck, and my shoes are a duck'…_ "

"Th-the floor is a duck?" he gasped, trying desperately to breathe through his laughter.

"Right after 'and the curtains are a duck'." Haru finally forced herself to calm down so that she could coherently finish the story. "Father was laughing so hard, he didn't have it in him to punish her." _'If I had ripped a pillow, I would have kissed dinner good-bye for a month.'_

This was going even better than she had hoped. Catskin had refused to explain why he was a dirty vagabond when he could produce enough gold to live in a palace, but her mind was quickly becoming set in stone. If it meant the company of a husband that would also be her friend, she'd leave this place with him in the morning.

Hopefully he wouldn't mind visits to her sisters. Haru couldn't help wondering what they were going to make about having Catskin in the family and their beloved sister turning vagabond…

It was difficult for the two to keep track of the time, but it was five more story swaps before the door opened again.

"All of you. I want you out of the kitchens for five minutes," a familiar voice commanded like his will alone had the power to move mountains.

Catskin looked down in surprise as he felt Haru's hand involuntarily flinch against his own, but when he looked up in worry, her face was drained of the warm joy that he had been enjoying. Even as the last of the cooks hurriedly left for the side door leading to where the wood logs were stored, his own features became stern.

Haru had been careful not to touch upon her relationship with her father, but was privately relieved that this last clue was enough to make future discussions an unneeded experience.

Once the last scullery maid closed the door behind her, the Marquis Yoshioka made powerful strides across the kitchen until he was standing next to the table, his hands on his hips like an impatient child. "Well, then? You have had several hours to become acquainted with my daughter. Is she to your liking or not?"

Catskin looked across the table at her, begging with his eyes for her permission.

Such a thing required no thought at all, even without the threat of Lord Waul. Able to smile at the thought of leaving her father for good, she gave him an encouraging nod.

Not needing more than that, the Cat Man finished his last cup of tea, stood up from his chair and gave a respectful bow to her father with a wild grin of his own. "If you would kindly show me to your treasury, Marquis Yoshioka, I should like to attempt demonstrating how much her hand in marriage is worth to me."


	7. Fairy Tale

Birthday Bash Prompt 7: Fairy Tale

Or, Part 2 of Tea Party

Lord Waul didn't want to be here. Everything about this garden was an affront to his sensitive disposition.

His distaste wasn't for the garden itself, nor was it for the charming tables and chairs strewn over the lush green grass behind the large estate. He couldn't so much as fault the tea service. If anything, the tea was the only thing that was keeping him sane at the moment.

He took a long sip to enjoy the subtle flavor as one gloved finger trailed around the side of a biscuit, debating if he wanted it now or later in an effort to distract himself. All unnoticed, servants passed between tables, laying out new dishes of sweets or tea as they ran low.

No. His agony was because this stately manor had almost become his home. He had almost moved up to the rank of 'marquis'. If that… that _freak_ had left Lady Haru alone for just one more week, Lord Waul's financial obligation to an engagement would have been possible. He could have had the perfect wife.

A small smirk played across his lips as he noticed the king's favorite pass between the tables, making sure that everyone was enjoying this friendly little get-together. It was too late to claim this estate and the adjoining rank, but…

"Marquis Chosha!" Lord Waul called out, making the former knight glance up at him.

His lip twitched with dislike, but he nonetheless sauntered over to join him at the little white table. "Enjoying your tea, my lord?"

"Indeed I am, my lord." Waul finished his cup before pouring more from the silver teapot. "I don't recognize the flavor, but it is masterful."

It was rare to see a smile out of the new marquis without his red-headed bride prancing about like a schoolgirl, but the man managed it all the same. "It's a special blend a new friend of mine has been perfecting since childhood. He practically begged to be allowed the chance to share it this afternoon."

"If he allowed you to sample it first, I doubt it took much groveling," Lord Waul asserted as he added a sugar cube, trying to will the tiny white granules to dissolve faster. He breathed through his nose to keep the man from noticing his nerves. "It could be my imagination, but shouldn't the ladies be done with their preparations by now? I know the queen at least was presentable before she disappeared inside." _'Inside the home where_ _ **I**_ _should be master. The king married the eldest, so the estate should have gone to the second eldest's husband instead of the third._ _ **I**_ _should be hosting this tea party!'_

Fakir's strange smile deepened. "Haru may be having second thoughts about coming out, and her sisters are talking her back into it. You know how she avoids social gatherings anymore."

' _She wouldn't have to if_ _ **I**_ _were her husband!'_ It was all he could do to avoid screaming it to the heavens. _'No one would think less of her if she were by_ _ **my**_ _side instead of wasting her life waiting for that mongrel.'_ "It's been over three years, Marquis Chosha. She's waited long enough. Can't you intercede for me?"

Fakir spread his hands out helplessly. "I've already tried talking sense into her, but she keeps repeating 'It hasn't been four years yet.' You can try your luck when she comes out if you must. But if I were you, I would start looking elsewhere for a bride. Her stubborn heart is set on Catskin." With that, the lord stood up from his chair, gave a polite bow, and continued to circulate among the guests.

It was only Lord Waul's good breeding that kept him from howling in frustration. Reaching into his pocket for the small bit of wire he had coiled, he carefully held it under the table and imagined breaking Catskin's neck over and over as he bent the wire accordingly. It was a good twenty minutes until he was soothed enough to allow himself to enjoy his cold tea.

' _Come, come!'_ he thought furiously. _'At this rate, I'll break the doors down if Haru refuses to come out!'_

Finally, there was an almost fairy-like tinkling as the king tapped his silver spoon against a crystal glass, standing at the top of the impressive stone staircase that led down to where the guests were all sitting. The thirty-odd guests stopped almost in mid-chatter to collectively turn their gazes to their young monarch.

Even the servant setting a fresh teapot on Waul's table stopped in his tracks, straightening up almost like a soldier awaiting orders.

The king's large golden orbs were warm once all eyes were on him, and he lowered his glass as his queen stood proudly by his side.

' _Finally! But where's Haru?'_ Lord Waul tried not to growl.

"My lords and ladies; we are honored by your presence here this day. Although I have been soundly scolded for my lack of control, it has escaped precious few that this isn't simply a tea party," the young king confirmed.

Rue smiled lovingly at him, wrapping her arm around his in order to hold it to her as if to remind all present what was hers alone.

"An heir," Lord Waul muttered under his breath. _'I should have placed a bet on it. They were both too overexcited for this gathering.'_

If it weren't for Catskin, he'd have at least one heir by now. He gulped the entire cup down and tried to convince himself it was made with whiskey.

"You see, this is my family home," the queen explained while increasing her loving squeeze on her husband's arm. "This is the exact same garden where my dear husband proposed to me."

Marquis Chosha soon joined them, his own wife on his arm as she smiled up at him almost childishly. "This is also where I chose to propose to my sweet wife."

Ahiru beamed up at him, and then turned to face the crowd below. "So it is with great pleasure that this spot was chosen to announce the next member of our family."

A double pregnancy, then? Haru would have to leave off that wedding quilt she's been 'making' for the past three years if she was going to properly dote on nieces or nephews.

"Of course, we have to make him a member of the family first! Please welcome my newly appointed Baron of Piaal, Humbert von Gikkingen!" the king announced proudly, flinging his free arm grandly to the left side of the staircase.

"Wait, _what_?!" Lord Waul demanded, standing up from his chair before the large servant next to him grabbed his shoulder and rammed him back into his seat. "How dare you! Release me at once!"

"I was ordered by the king to keep you where you are," he growled with a savage grin. "Consider this payback for harassing another man's fiancée for years on end."

"But she was supposed to be mine! Why can't any of you fools see-"

The next action was a partial slap across the mouth and keeping his huge hand there. His grip turned fierce on the nobleman's shoulder, clearly enjoying watching the man struggle.

With Waul silenced, a man about his age revealed himself from the other side of a large hedge.

That… no, that couldn't be Catskin! The only hair on his body was the thick crop of orange hair, and barely any on the eyebrows. He was taller than either of the men standing on top of the stairs with him, though only by half a head's worth. He almost seemed to carry himself like a soldier; tall and proud from the challenges he'd conquered. The suit he was wearing seemed white on first sight, but a second glance showed a light pearl grey.

Worst of all, he could already hear the women from other tables swooning and murmuring in disappointment at his handsome face and solid build.

"Shall we, then?" The king asked the almost unnoticed priest that had been walking by the new baron's side.

The young man flashed an almost mischievous smile at his monarch. "I _was_ summoned for a wedding service, after all. The lovebirds have been patient enough."

"Truer words could never be spoken," Humbert sighed, looking past the two couples separating, the men joining him on the priest's right and the sisters nearly trembling with excitement on his left. His green eyes melted with love as he offered his hands to what appeared to be another hedge.

As soon as Haru stepped into view, Lord Waul could see the cause of the ladies' delay.

She was _breathtaking_ in a light grey ball gown that was about the same shade as the baron's attire, and everything from her careful makeup to the elegant bun that left part of her hair loose was perfect!

But Waul had to admit to himself that he would have insisted that Haru stuck with a more traditional veil as opposed to a slightly too large flower crown that consisted of red and yellow rosebuds. That crown threw off the rest of her ensemble, as far as he was concerned! It made her look like a giddy village girl, and she was a lady of high breeding!

Why was the king allowing this?! Any of this?!

Haru still walked across the flagstones like a lady, joining her hands with Humbert's as he stole a kiss from both sets of her knuckles.

"Are you ready, my love?" the baron murmured in a voice that could make angels weep.

Haru's large brown eyes glowed as she looked up at him, and although her skirt was just long enough to make it hard to see from this angle, everyone could tell she had to stand on tiptoe in order to press a kiss to his cheek.

"We just got called lovebirds. I say we live up to the name," she crooned only loud enough to be heard.

"What a splendid idea!" he agreed through a broad smile, tucking her arm into his and approaching the priest.

It would be foolish to say that Lord Waul didn't try to interfere. He flailed, he screamed, threw as many kicks and elbow jabs as he could at the man holding him prisoner, but the man was clearly a professional at holding down an uncooperative prisoner.

"And, of course, since you only invited _friends_ here," the priest declared, smirking like the devil himself at Lord Waul. "I can't imagine why I would need to bother asking if anyone objects to the marriage."

He tried another, louder scream, but it was no use. Despite looking like he was made of body fat, the servant now keeping a whole arm over his mouth was built of solid muscle.

All that could be heard was a muffled whimper, almost like a whipped dog that had done nothing wrong.

"Yes, it must be so wonderful to have such _loyal_ friends around rooting for nothing less than your eternal happiness!" the priest drawled on before concluding the ceremony.

Waul hated to admit it, but he wasn't accustomed to exerting himself in such a barbaric manner. Whether he liked it or not, he was out of energy by the time the baron kissed _his_ bride.

He would never be able to show his face in court again.

xxXxx

A/N: Okay, to the people that fussed that because a one-shot got published, it means it will never become a longer fic, this is the story that proved everyone wrong, including me. The reason I gave up on the idea of Catskin years ago was because I didn't want to write a story where Baron gets beat up in more ways than one until the triumphant end, or at least meeting his future wife.

But after writing the prompt for Tea Party, my head started popping with ideas on how to do this story, why things happened a certain way… before I knew it, I was writing the third take for this prompt, and I was leaving so many good details out for the sake of time (and is also why this was uploaded later than usual). So, Catskin is back in the lineup. I won't promise that it will turn out the same way this two-shot did, but this isn't the last you've seen of this idea.

And I just might post the second part of Fisticuffs in two weeks before returning to Choice and Consequence. I ran out of time to get to the _real_ end on that one, and I don't think I'll want to wait until after CaC is done.


	8. Fisticuffs Part 2

8\. Fisticuffs Part 2

' _Please help me give Hiromi this, he said. It would mean the world to her, he said. It will be an evening she'll never forget, he said. Why does her dad have to keep being right?!'_ Haru inwardly groaned as her dinner churned uncomfortably inside her. _'Maybe I should have gone easy on the bruschetta. I think I'm going to throw up!'_

"You can drop the safety pins, Baron! Turns out there was a tailor in the house," Mercutio smirked, steering Haru through the actors that turned dead silent at the sight of her.

Romeo looked up from Friar Laurence trying to set the sleeve with a handful of safety pins. The title character lit up like a Christmas tree at the sight of her. He opened his mouth to speak, but Haru cut him off.

"Please no more Shakespeare. I've already taken more than I can handle," she begged tiredly, forcing herself to come forward and take the seat Friar Laurence had just vacated for her with a wide grin.

Romeo flinched as she started rifling through her mother's bag for green thread. "M-my apologies. I've been forcing myself to be in character for the past few weeks. It was all I could think to say."

Finding the right thread, she wasted no time threading a spare needle. "Maybe we should focus on getting you fixed up. If the balcony scene isn't next, it's next to next."

The prince put one hand on the back of her chair. "He literally has one line after everyone does a brief monologue. He could probably keep the bad arm from the audience if you would mind waiting until then."

Haru forced herself to grab Romeo's arm and hold it in front of her so that the rip was facing her. "Hold it like that. I'm not saying this to be conceited, your highness, but you underestimate my sewing skills." With a practiced flair, she used her favorite knot to hold the cuff ends together and began weaving her needlepoint in and out of the sleeve, actually pulling the needle through every ten stitches or so.

She normally hated sewing in public since people always thought that she was showing off how fast she could go. But she was eager to get this repair job over with as soon as possible.

"You wield that needle like a _wand_ ," Baron said worshipfully as she finished the seam with a knot, burying the end before snipping off the remaining thread less than a minute after she tied the first knot.

"Reparo," Haru muttered sarcastically, standing up and shouldering her mother's bag. "Just be more careful about those chairs. They're being strangely vicious tonight."

"You're telling _me_ ," Tybalt muttered as he rubbed one leg.

But before Haru could make good on her escape, the prince grabbed her by the shoulders and started steering her the other direction while talking over one shoulder.

"No, I'm not hitting on her, I just need to talk; all of you get to the next part immediately. We can't handle any more delays tonight."

Baron's jealous glare said he didn't believe the man, but Mercutio and Benvolio managed to drag him back to the stage.

Once they were alone, the prince wheeled Haru around enough to lock eyes with her. "First off, thanks for doing that for us. Second off, I know you haven't been encouraging Baron's attentions."

"He doesn't need encouragement, that's for sure," she muttered under her breath.

He managed a small laugh of agreement. "I hate to ask this of you since it's your friend's birthday, but… would you mind sitting back here for the rest of the performance?"

Haru made a startled sound, but he held his hands up defensively.

"I'm sorry, but you're a massive distraction for Baron, and he was panicking about being able to do later scenes with you watching. Also, I wouldn't exactly put it past him to intentionally rip something again."

Haru gave a nervous glance to the stage, only imagining the crowd beyond that. Would she really be able to sit through the rest of the performance in peace, anyway? She knew what scenes he was talking about.

She bit her lower lip before nodding. "I guess I can make it up to Hiromi later. So, how are you planning on making sure he goes out there if I'm back here?"

"One problem at a time, please," he begged, pacing in front of her while taking off his plumed hat so he could ruffle his dark hair in frustration. "If Father catches wind of how many problems cropped up already, I'll never be allowed to direct again. It's so much more fun without him breathing down our necks, and he promised to let us do Once Upon a Mattress next if we-"

Haru didn't think. She grabbed his arm and yanked to stop his worried pacing. "Did you just name-drop what I think you did?" her lips asked in a low tone.

His mismatched eyes were wary at her sudden interest, but he nodded.

This was supposed to be Hiromi's special night. It had taken all of Haru's willpower not to alert her friend until their cab arrived in front of the dinner theatre instead of the promised restaurant. But thanks to Baron's unexpected interest in her, it had turned more into Haru's night than anything else, whether she liked it or not. She didn't want to use the newly formed plan since it would require more confidence than she possessed. But this was too good of an opportunity to pass up, even to avoid a suddenly smitten stranger.

Haru wrapped an arm around the prince's shoulders and started whispering. "If you agree to do one small favor for me, I'll handle Baron _and_ do all the tailoring needed until the end of the next production. Tonight is included in the deal."

The prince gaped at her. "Is it really only a little favor if you're willing to go _that_ far?"

Haru nodded. "To me, yes. To Hiromi, it'll mean more than a little."

"Are you done with her yet?" Baron growled in a challenge as he came up behind them, leaving the stage as soon as his one line was done. His envious eyes were on Haru's arm, still over the young prince.

Haru locked eyes with the man she was negotiating with. "Final offer," she deadpanned while releasing him.

Shaking his head slightly, the prince threw his hands up in defeat. "How can I refuse?"

"That's what I thought. Baron, could you follow me for a second?" Haru asked despite already knowing the answer.

His mood immediately sweetened, following her in an instant to behind a rack of costumes tucked away in a corner.

Turning around once they were concealed, she decided to start at the beginning. "I'm Haru Yoshioka, nice to meet you," she greeted, giving him a traditional bow.

His smile was almost bright enough to give off sparks as he returned the bow. "That's a lovely name! I'm Humbert Gikkingen, but everyone calls me Baron."

' _I don't blame him for taking a nickname.'_ She took in a deep breath. "Baron, your behavior really embarrassed me."

He blanched, clearly hoping for something more in his favor. He started twiddling his thumbs nervously. "I wasn't trying to, it's just that seeing you caught me off-guard, and-"

Haru gently pressed a hand over his mouth. "I'm sure we don't have enough time to talk things through before your next scene, so I'll get to the point. Do you want me to take you seriously after tonight?"

Baron nodded without hesitation, so she took her hand off his mouth.

"Then I want you to completely ignore me the rest of the performance. I'll stay back here to make it easier. Just go out there and be your best Romeo."

He gaped at her in horror.

"I'll… give you my phone number if you can do it," Haru promised, trying to offer a small smile. "Mercutio was right when he said now was a really bad time for us to talk things out. Don't answer me, _show_ me."

Baron pouted like a child denied dessert, forcing himself to turn away from Haru and move around the costume rack to head back to the stage. " _Every unworthy thing may look on her, but_ _ **Romeo**_ _may not!_ " he mourned bitterly.

"Drama llama," Haru muttered under her breath, intentionally waiting until he was on stage again before coming around the costumes as well.

A blinding flash greeted her almost immediately, making her blink in surprise.

Juliet was holding an old-fashioned camera that was already spewing out a photo. She grabbed the paper while smiling at it. "He's the _king_ of the drama llamas. The deal doesn't include photos, right?" she asked with a smirk.

Haru's shoulders slumped in defeat. "You're not going to scapegoat me the whole night, are you?"

Juliet took two steps in order to wrap her in a one-armed hug. "You have him _twitter-pated_ , Haru! Unless you get over your shyness enough to go out there someday, he's probably never going to be able to take a romantic role again. You still get my custard," she reminded her with a grin, setting the camera down and pinning the photo paper to one shoulder of her red dress before climbing a ladder that had been bolted to the wrong side of a tower-shaped structure for the balcony scene.

Haru could only cover her mouth and nose while attempting to breathe steadily and mentally count to ten while fighting back a blush. "Me on stage. Not likely." _'Hiromi had better appreciate this when the moment comes.'_

"Um, hello," Friar Laurence greeted her nervously while showing her a sleeve of his churchman's robe that was clearly safety pinned together on the seam. "Lune said you're willing to do more repairs?"

Haru managed a smile at him, directing with her head at the two chairs from before. "Let's get you fixed up."

ooOoo

" _For never was a story of more woe,_

" _Than this of Juliet, and her Romeo,"_ the prince intoned sadly as the play ended.

There had been disappointingly little left to report of the rest of the performance. There were no more accidents, the prince was on a double-patrol to keep everything running smoothly, and Juliet showed increasingly clever ways to hide Haru's picture so that only Romeo could see it, although a few snickers from the audience said loud and clear that someone had caught onto the ruse.

Haru had to admit that she was having more fun than she was anticipating. It had almost become a game to finish an actor's hemline or adjust a tunic before they were needed back on stage. Sure, there were a few times she had to side-step with the actor while finishing a detail right before they headed out there, but it was still a fun challenge.

But for now, her hands were bare of material. Sore and pricked from that much sewing in one night. She stared at her hands, trying to steady her heart and her breath for what was going to come any second. All she could do was sit in her folding chair and await her fate.

Tybalt was trying to hide a laugh as he patted her shoulder with his huge hand. "Just relax, Chicky. Baron's extremely old-fashioned when it comes to how to treat women on a date. Just ask Louise, she'll tell you he's a gentleman."

"She seems like the type to warn me if he wasn't," Haru agreed, but that didn't make her feel any better. _'I've never dated anyone before, let alone a college guy. What if I mess it up? What if I_ _ **want**_ _to mess it up?'_

"Forget that! We want to know about Romeo and Rosaline!" someone in the audience called out as others gave agreeing shouts through the applause, making something solid slam against the floor of the stage.

Haru was somehow certain it was a 'dead man' rising from the grave.

"So do I!" Romeo answered, not even staying for the curtain call as he nearly ran off the stage and around the corner with a beaming smile only for Haru, who was fighting back another violent blush and trying to keep her eyes on her hands and lap.

That didn't prevent her from seeing him standing in front of her expectedly. "I believe we had an agreement?" he prodded excitedly.

"The play was over before he looked at you again," Mercutio egged on from the other side of the chair while teasingly nudging her with an elbow.

"What about the final bow?" she asked pointedly.

"You said the end of the performance, not the final bow," Baron informed her with a bit of a smirk in his tone. "My patience has been tried enough for the night."

Haru blushed even harder as she forced herself to look up and offer a nervous smile and one hand. "Your phone?"

He blinked, running quickly for the collection of coats hanging off a rack by the back door and poking through the pockets of a light grey jacket. "Please tell me I didn't accidentally leave it in the dorm- ah ha!"

Knowing it would only save time, Haru pulled her own cell phone out of a hidden pocket of her dress and unlocked it so that they could switch phone numbers.

"So when's the date?" Hiromi asked eagerly as she and Naoko were escorted into the backstage, each carrying a bowl of the half-eaten custard.

Baron laughed in good humor as he finished tapping his information into her phone. "Patience, please. Are you doing anything tomorrow?" he directed at the furiously blushing brunette.

Haru laughed nervously. "Well-"

"I'm cancelling our movie tomorrow!" Hiromi announced, coming forward enough to nudge the chair closer to Baron with one foot before having another spoonful of the orange custard. "She's all free now."

"But no pressure," Haru sighed, noticing that the director had a handful of the actors in a huddle on the stage, clearly conspiring something.

Baron blinked, kneeling before her and offering her phone back. "I'm not interested in forcing you into anything, Haru. Just… let me show you I know how to talk without Shakespeare. Are you familiar with the park about ten minutes walk from here?"

' _Too bad I knew as soon as Mom grabbed me that I wasn't walking away without a date,'_ Haru admitted to herself. "A bit, yes. When do you want to meet up?"

"Would ten be agreeable?" he asked, relieved that she was agreeing to seeing him again.

"That should work. I'm not an early riser," Haru admitted, making her mother and best friend high five each other behind her back.

"If I can have your attention, ladies and gentlemen!" the young director called to the audience, some of which had obviously started to leave. "We have a special treat for everyone to make up for the earlier delays! I've been assured that it will be worth a few extra minutes."

Haru sharply looked away from Baron with a panicked expression. "I didn't mean in front of _everyone!_ "

"Mean what, sweetie?" Naoko couldn't keep from asking.

The prince ignored the outcry. "It is my great pleasure to announce that Hiromi Hashima is going to grace us with her interpretation of 'Shy'."

Hiromi's mouth fell open to emit a squeal of pure unexpected delight. She spared only enough time to nearly suffocate her best friend with a hug, pass her custard to a stunned Naoko, and run to the stage, where the huddled actors were lying in wait as one of them finished hooking up his phone to a speaker and starting the appropriate music.

Hiromi strutted confidently towards the prince who was fighting back a smirk. "So who's the lucky man? _Hey, nani nani nani, is it you?_ "

"Nani nani nani, no," he laughed, making her repeat the routine a few more times with other actors, adding a slight amount of drama to her gestures. The Capulet servant from earlier in the play stepped up in a second for the prince's line as Juliet just as eagerly took the part of the possessive queen.

Hiromi knew she was coming off as hammy, but it was too good of an opportunity to waste on subtlety! This had been her favorite musical since childhood. She knew all the versions, all the lines, and could even name most of the main cast's real names in each movie and popular play interpretation.

Thankfully the other actors were good at ad-libbing their movements to echo her dancing. It felt all too soon when the song ended with-

" _I am one man…_ " she sang, dragging the last word out for all she was worth as the other actors sang,

" _The lady is one… man…_ "

" _ **Sh-y**_ _!_ " they all cried out, ending the music with two of the actors picking her up and planting her squarely in front of the makeshift prince, who was grinning like an idiot.

The audience screamed their approval, clapping wildly for Hiromi's first stage performance that didn't have an audience of schoolmates' assorted family members.

Her answering bow was just as over the top as her performance, grinning wildly at the plumed prince as she rose. "Thanks for letting me do that."

The young director was grinning from ear to ear as he finished clapping as well. "Well, that's one less role to post auditions for."

Hiromi blinked in surprise, forgetting that there was still an audience. "Wait, what?"

Still beaming happily, the young man pointed at where Haru was waiting just off stage with Baron on one side and her mother on the other. "Your friend over there sold her sewing skills to the theatre for the next few months for you to get the first crack at Princess Fred's role. We're doing 'Once Upon a Mattress' next, and she seemed to think you would be a perfect fit."

Hiromi's mouth fell open again in a nearly inaudible squeal of pure joy as the audience roared their approval once more. She didn't even realize she was falling backward until Mercutio caught her by the arms.

"Wow. You're just making everyone swoon tonight, aren't you?" the troublemaker purred at Haru, making her shoot a glare at him.

"Shove it!"

xxXxx

As a reminder:

Romeo- Baron

Juliet- Louise

Benvolio- Natori

Mercutio- Toto

Tybalt- Muta

The Prince/Director- Lune

Capulet servant- Natoru

Father Laurence: Haku from Spirited Away. His hair reminds me of an old-fashioned churchman for some reason.


	9. Lost

A/N: This is my Secret Santa entry for 2018. I originally had plans to do all of my victim's prompts, but because December is the _last_ month I have the time to do a bunch of writing for obvious reasons, she will have to be satisfied with this for now.

So, Merry Christmas, Headphonescinderella!

9\. Lost

Perdita was awakened by the smell of a hot breakfast, something that involved a lot of gravy.

Her fair mouth grimaced as she pretended to be asleep for a little longer. Her heart was still burning from dinner the night before, but she dared not complain. Regardless of what type of gravy it was, her royal husband would love it.

Which in turn meant that _she_ loved it, even if her heart and stomach constantly felt like an inferno as a result.

"Hmm, that smells good," his familiar voice purred as the whole bed shifted with his movements until he was sitting up in their gigantic canopied bed. His familiar paw nudged her shoulder insistently once he was settled. "Wake up, babe. You know I can't start without you."

She managed to hide her groan of disdain as part of a low growl that sounded like she was sorry about being woken up.

Childhood training made her actions to move into a seated position much more smooth and graceful than her husband's. When she forced herself to open her eyes, she could see the three ladies in waiting smiling brightly at her, Amethyst indeed bearing her a large tray heavy with quail eggs, turkey sausage and hot biscuits, all smothered in rich gravy that nearly disguised her breakfast completely.

"Dear Amethyst, you know my appetite isn't all that large," she cooed tolerably, wishing her husband would let her order a fruit bowl instead for just one meal.

Her husband wrapped a surprisingly scrawny arm around her waist and dragged her a little closer to his side of the bed. "Eat it anyway, love. You're getting thinner again, and that's not healthy."

An order from her husband. There was no choice but obedience now. Perdita nodded assent and politely tucked into her breakfast with her mate.

As her hand reluctantly brought mouthful after mouthful to her lips, the neat little black cat couldn't help reflecting on where she might be if the king hadn't been widowed for the second time when she came of age.

Duchess Sai always smelled of strawberries and peaches at early morning court, as did her husband. Did she secretly yearn for a heavy breakfast such as this? It would be terribly improper to ask, of course, but it wasn't hard to see that the way the duke doted on his young wife. There just seemed to be something more… thoughtful about how he interacted with her, always so tender.

Her heart seemed to burn more hotly in response, but she didn't dare let it show as she kept swallowing gravy and sugar as she was ordered.

After breakfast was the ritual of Lapis and Rose combing through her luxurious fur, which the current court poet loved comparing to sapphires. Amethyst busied herself with changing the bedsheets as the king left for his morning duties, using one of the last biscuits to eat a bit more gravy with a lazy smile.

Queen Perdita of the Cat Kingdom closed her blue eyes lingeringly, letting the specially-treated brushes run through her fur with all the gentleness of a summer's breeze. _'Clean your fur, clean the bed clothes… clean the memories of what will never be…'_

She knew she didn't have much to complain about. Phoebus has his list of faults, certainly, but at least he was doting. It didn't matter how high the function, if he felt like a kiss or embrace, he was completely willing to let the court say what they will about his lack of decorum. Even when she would have rather not have an audience to such affection.

She was presented with only the finest clothes, the finest foods, but most importantly, the finest son she could have ever hoped for.

Her fixed smile turned genuine at the thought of her fine little boy, who was almost ready to have his twelfth birthday. It was probably uncharitable to think it, but she was grateful that her sweet prince hadn't seemed to inherit much more from his father than the famous red eye of the royal family and an occasional bout of absent-mindedness.

As a result, he was mild-mannered, thoughtful, and a delight to be around.

If not for the childhood training of hiding her true emotions, Perdita would have surely flinched in guilt as Lapis helped to guide her into an expensive gown of silver brocade.

The blue hair had been trained from the cradle to be the perfect wife. It troubled her much more growing up, but she had more or less resigned herself to the fact that in order to be the perfect wife, she could never at any time form an opinion without consulting her husband to ensure they were perfectly synced in all things.

She took in a deep breath, wishing she could at the very most only tie a satin ribbon around her neck and be done with it, but her husband was obsessed with human fashion, at least on queens. He himself only wore golden armbands and the royal eye that was the badge of his office because his long fur would make him overheat if he wore additional clothes.

Perdita had to fight back a rebellious smile that although her husband adored human fashions, he wasn't about to go shaving himself for it any time soon. For now, he was content in dressing up his wife like an oversized doll.

"There you are, your majesty! You're a vision to behold," Rose gushed as she and Lapis stepped back enough so that their queen could inspect her reflection in the large mirror in a corner of the royal suite.

The only way she could have appeared even more human was if her husband had resurrected the practice of stealing human brides for the royal line. Legends had it that even after the change was complete, some bit of their human selves would always remain the same.

Perdita fixed her usual smile into place, even though her heart still burning within her chest at the uncomfortable truth.

An oversized, heir-making doll.

ooOoo

Even lunch that day was unnecessarily heavy. Perdita tried to remember what she had been doing between getting dressed and sitting here beside her husband again, but for the life of her, she could barely focus her attention on anything around her.

She had always been fond of watercolor paintings, but now she almost felt like she was in the middle of one as it was being painted. Colors seemed to swirl and dance together in her vision, and everyone around her seemed noisier than usual. Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she managed to look around her husband devouring a whole tuna casserole by himself at her dear son.

Lune seemed worried, trying to disguise the fact that he was keeping one eye on her at all times. He was barely touching the gravy mess in front of him, though she couldn't tell if it was distaste or concern that was keeping him from eating.

Perdita could feel her heart swell with love once more. Why couldn't her husband have been more like their son? All it would take it ten seconds of Phoebus to show this kind of concern over her, and perhaps she'd be enjoying a grass salad right now.

Or perhaps a nap. Why was she so tired? Not even her heart burn and raging stomach had managed to wake her up last night, and as the queen, about the only exercise she got was from a beaded fan or cutlery.

Her paw was shaking from the excursion of lifting caviar to her lips. _Caviar_ , that weighed practically nothing, was making her arm ache like she was attempting to flip over the table!

Her stomach and jaw screamed in agony, making her put down the spoon for good. It was simply too much.

Almost on cue, the little sound was enough to make her husband turn enough to look at her with a warning glare.

"Shouldn't you be using that?" he asked bluntly.

Perdita made a breathy sigh. "I'm sorry, dear, but I just can't right now. I'll eat more at supper, I promise." _'If I were to wear a purse, would I be able to slip the food into it instead of my mouth? No. As long as I am queen, my every move will always be watched.'_

The thought only made her feel worse. What was she, some creature locked up in a zoo? Meant only to be gawked at between the bars? Her heart pounded worse at what was feeling like an increasingly accurate analogy.

The Cat King's glare got more dangerous. "Your fur isn't as glossy as it was when we got married. Your eyes are getting duller, and you don't laugh as much as you used to. If you would just eat a full meal every time, these things would get better."

All true, at least the first half of his statement, but **why** did he say that out loud in front of the entire court? Everything had turned dead quiet in order to catch his majesty's every word, right down to the musicians that should have been providing atmosphere.

Her son's angry look made it clear that _he_ would have at least waited for some privacy.

' _Maybe if you would let me pick what I eat, I would eat everything!'_ Perdita had been thinking it for years, but now her thoughts were threatening to bubble to the surface. "I can't-" she tried to explain again, but he was already unloading half a partridge pie onto her almost full plate, pushing some anchovies off it and staining the cream-colored tablecloth.

"Eat it. All of it!" he commanded with the same volume he would have used addressing the entire kingdom.

Perdita looked down at her plate, seeing the fat and gravy literally turn the tablecloth into a disgusting misshapen ring of greys and browns around the dish. Her stomach threatened a second appearance of what she had already managed to choke down that day.

Taking in a deep breath, she pushed the plate away while uttering something she usually only _dreamed_ of saying to her husband.

"No."

Phoebus seemed to swell in his rage. "I am the KING!"

"And I am the queen who's trying to keep her food down. It's turning into a losing battle," she managed to say, holding one paw to her midriff, praying that she wouldn't _actually_ throw up with the entire court watching.

Sure, the king did it on an almost nightly basis, but that was thanks to how much strong drink he consumed at supper. The _queen_ couldn't afford to do it, _she_ had to be the embodiment of perfection! Who cared if the king made a fool of himself, but the queen would have caused a real scandal if she did the same!

It was all so unfair! It was always unfair, but the fact seemed to matter more in this moment.

"Simple enough, I **order** you to keep your food down, and to add this to it!" He shoved the plate back at her a little more harshly than he meant to.

Or so Perdita hoped. Instead of coming to rest in front of her, the plate collided with the front of her silver dress, sending hot gravy and more down her chest and ruining the expensive gown.

She knew she needed to be ladylike in expressing her pain, but it was the final straw. The dark blue cat tried to get out of her throne-like chair with a pained yelp.

But somewhere in the middle of that yelp, it felt like one of the guards had successfully skewered her with a spear, the pain was so intense. Her yelp cut itself off in surprise and sudden breathlessness.

She began falling, first painfully over the armrest, and then onto the marble floor next to the royal table.

The last thing she heard her husband say was, "I know that trick, Perdita! Sylvia used to use it on me all the time!"

The last thing she saw was her young prince hurrying to her side with a cry of "Mother!"

But what Perdita would never know, was how her final look of relief would be something that would haunt her precious Lune for the rest of his days.


	10. Midnight Awakening

A/N; Sorry, inspiration hit hard for this one out of nowhere, managed to write this all in one day! It represents the biggest regret I have from writing Refuge.

10\. Midnight Awakening

Not even Baron's sleeping tea could keep Haru from hearing _that_ sound! She murmured in her sleep before rolling enough to rise to a seating position on her canopied bed.

That was all it took to feel the suggestion of her friend's hand on her shoulder, gentle but firm in his insistence that she stay in bed.

Haru pouted, but her eyes were now locked on the heirloom bassinet that Baron had wheeled into her room the day she moved into the von Gikkingen estate. The ridiculously overweight cat sleeping right next to it opened one eye in slight annoyance at the sound.

A six-month old baby, still wrapped in a blanket, was seemingly being lifted into the air by nothing and gently taken to the desk that had been repurposed for a changing station, crying in distress all the way.

Haru couldn't help the gentle smile that tugged at her lips, watching the blanket unfold itself as a fresh diaper rose from the stack at the ready.

Here in the dead of night, when all the world was still save for her daughter, the mother could _almost_ make herself believe that she could see the ghost of her grandmother's friend as he carefully switched out the soiled diaper for a fresh one.

Her baby's cries had ceased, only to be replaced with occasional smiles. It was a good hint that the baron was sneaking a few tickles to her tummy as he finished the necessary work.

Her door flew gently open, allowing passage for a baby bottle. It floated over to Haru expectantly, making her extend one wrist with a smile.

The bottle tipped just enough to coax three drops onto the few patches of skin that were showing through her evening bandages.

"Five minutes of cooling, maybe just one if you send it outside," Haru reported, not bothering to attempt grabbing the bottle this time.

When Baron decided he was taking evening duty with her baby, he could literally bind Haru to the bed if she tried to resist enough. But he seemed more fond of picking her up and setting her back in bed with covers up to her chin, even when she got up a good fifteen times in one night to try caring for her sweet daughter.

A window framing a lovely tree some distance away opened of its own accord, just long enough for the bottle to fly out like a pet that needed to stretch its legs.

The baby was still fussing a little after her soiled diaper had been deposited in the usual bin, so Baron had her wrapped up in the blanket again and was walking her in lines in front of the bed.

Or so Haru assumed. Her baby was being jostled about the same as she herself did when trying to coax her off to Dreamland.

Her smile turned wry at all the ways the ghost doted on her sweet baby. She really should have seen this coming. Everything she had ever heard of Baron Humbert von Gikkingen II, both before and after his death, screamed louder than words of his sincere love for children.

It just wasn't fair. He didn't deserve to die young. He should have gotten the chance to fall in love and raise a family in these empty halls instead of watch the dust collect until a decent tenant showed up.

Every time he beat her to her baby's needs, it just assured her that he would have made a five-star parent.

The window flew open again to admit the bottle, also admitting Toto who swooped once around the room before landing on top of a nearby wooden chair expressly for his use, sending worshipful eyes at the little girl. For once, he was even ignoring the fat cat sneaking a glare up at him.

Haru realized how surreal her life had become after coming to live her, but she couldn't help reflecting on it as she offered the bottle her wrist again. "It's perfect this time," she announced, making the bottle float to her daughter and begin feeding her.

Every bit of parenting advice screamed that letting a wild bird and stray cat near her baby was a bad idea until her immune system was more stable, but she just didn't have the heart to shoo them away. She had suspected that Baron would have a soft spot for the child after hearing her name, but she hadn't even guessed that the stray cat and 'killer' crow she had taken in would appoint themselves her adoring bodyguards.

Haru had to ruefully conclude that even if _she_ occasionally got on Baron's nerves, he'd keep her around so he could continue to dote on her little angel.

Learning from the previous times, Baron's ghost made sure there were two towels laid out on the floor as well as one tossed over an invisible shoulder before he began burping the baby.

' _Why couldn't_ _ **he**_ _have been the father?!'_ Haru lamented again, kicking herself for her own stupidity as one hand rubbed against her head bandages that were covering her new thin crop of brown hair and healing goop. Even before the attack that had nearly ended both her life and her unborn daughter's, she had taken it for granted that Machida would do barely more than occasionally hold the baby until she had grown up enough to develop her own personality and stop leaking from one or both ends.

Frankly, until Baron nominated himself nursemaid, it had never really occurred to her that men might have interest in doing the messier parts of taking care of someone that had so little control over her body functions.

On a whim, Haru reached for one of the frames standing on her bedside table in order to stare at it.

Herself and her maternal grandmother, both sitting at a large quilting frame and raising their needles like implements of war. There were big smiles on both of their faces, and one arm wrapped around each other.

Her heart ached, wishing that her grandmother had lived long enough to join her here. Baron would have been so happy to see his little friend again…

Right. He still didn't know. Since Haru had outed herself as a fan of both the Drosselmeyer family _and_ the von Gikkingen line as soon as she set foot here, no one in town had batted an eyelash at her daughter's name. There was no way she could have been able to tell Baron's immediate reaction, but it was bound to be one of the reasons he took such joy in caring for her, allowing the mother the freedom to restore this beautiful manor to its former glory the best she could.

The bed lurched as Muta launched himself onto the bed and padded close enough to wiggle his girth into one of her arms, looking up at her with concern.

Haru smiled lovingly at him while scratching his brown ear, but it did little to alleviate her guilt. Her grandmother failed to come back, it was true, but how much would it mean to Baron to know she tried so desperately to return?

Taking in a deep breath, her decision was made. "Baron? Could you do me a favor and set the baby in the bassinet again? There's something I should have told you when I got here."

Her baby burped loudly, proving the prudence of Baron's decision to line a spot in Haru's bedroom with towels. Wiping her face clean, he was still careful about placing the baby back in her crib. The blankets holding her tight could just be seen being disturbed, as if an invisible hand was still rubbing over the baby as it drifted back to sleep.

Even Toto broke off his silent worship to give the older girl a quizzical look.

Haru nervously rubbed a finger over the picture before offering it blindly in front of her with one hand, since Muta was still tucked into one arm. "Do you remember what I told you about my grandma?"

An unseen hand nodded her head, making her gulp guiltily.

"Well… I forgot to mention that Louise is named after her."

In hindsight, Haru regretted not waiting until morning. The resulting chaos woke up the baby again.


	11. Outer Space

A/N; When I uploaded Ties that Bind, I got a lot of complaints about the language barrier and a little bit of muttering about how Baron was acting just a shade like a villain by keeping Haru's options in her second home world slightly limited. I laughed off those objections because the readers didn't know about the first half-written draft I wrote of how Baron and Haru met in that story. Here's how it almost went down…

Birthday Bash 2019 Prompt One

11\. Outer Space

Baron could hardly believe it. The plan he had been agonizing for over six months had actually _worked_. The girl was… she was right in front of him! For once, they were actually in the same room, the same place.

Another moan of pain came from her covered lips as her gloved hands came up to rub her face. Oh, even that small sound rang sweetly in his ears!

Feeling strangely hesitant, Baron used the table he was leaning against to help him to his feet, and slowly make his way to the girl. His mouth felt dry and constricted, and his limbs were still shaking with exertion, but he wanted a few questions answered on this first meeting, if she happened to be well enough for it.

The tawny Keeper stood right next to her containment box, trying to think of what he wanted to say for a first impression. His left ear twitched with nerves, but he still took a deep breath for courage…

ooOoo

Every inch of Haru ached, more so than she could ever remember before. But at least she could feel again. A moan of pain worked through her mouth as her trembling hands slowly covered her face, not understanding why it felt like there was a sheet over it. Her eyelids were too heavy to open, but at least she could tell that she was alive.

But… something was wrong. She could feel the pressure from her hands, but she couldn't actually _feel_ her face through the fabric covering her face. All her hands could feel was… fur?

No. That was impossible. Her mind was fuzzy and misinterpreting things, that was it!

But her hands kept going over her face, not recognizing the strange shape or even stranger texture of the hair that shouldn't have been there. There was some covering over her face, and it took a few tries for her trembling hands to find the bottom of the mask so that she could rip it off. But as she did so, her hand harshly collided with the side of something very hard and cold, making her give a weak yelp of pain. Her other hand worked harder to rub her reluctant eyes into opening.

Then she heard a voice that she had never heard before. It used a language that she didn't know existed, but as he spoke, there almost seemed to be a switch in her mind that had been flipped so that she could understand him.

"Please allow me to help you out of there. I am certain you are feeling too weak to do it yourself just now."

Haru's large brown eyes snapped open at the sound.

ooOoo

Baron was not completely sure what he was expecting, but the earth-shattering scream that rang from his beloved's lips definitely had not been something he was prepared for. He instinctively pounced backward, feeling every hair on his body stand on end from the terrible sound. "I have no desire to hurt you," he informed her in a panic as she struggled to sit up inside the glass box that had been keeping her new body fresh for this important night.

It was only when she started gaping at the box in horror that he realized how much it resembled a coffin.

"You are not dead," Baron added, wishing that he had thought to place her body on the table, at least. "At least, not anymore. I am terribly sorry that there was no way to warn you in advance, but this was the only way to save your life."

The Keeper of his heart must have been struck dumb, because all she could do was stare at him, and then at his private study at the top of his favorite tower. She suddenly flinched and looked down at her body.

The suit that covered her fair form was more suited for a man, but he needed to make sure that the electricity that would help bind her soul to the waiting body wouldn't singe her new fur. Thankfully Pelia had been more than willing to dress the waiting flesh to his specifications.

Baron took in another breath as the love of his life began hyperventilating as she stared at a frantically waving tail. "I swear I will not hurt you. Just… allow me to help you out of the containment box. I will set you on my reading chair-" he indicated the chair closest to the empty fireplace, "-and we can talk. You have my word that you are no longer in danger, and I would gladly defend you if I am mistaken."

The poor girl was still terrified enough to try getting out by herself, but the muscles in her arms were freshly made and until tonight, unused. She simply did not have the strength to get herself out.

Sighing a little helplessly, she gave Baron a still-fearful look and forced herself to nod.

The tall feline had to keep a fierce grip on both his emotions and his impulses when he carefully came forward to lift the girl out of the glass case. It felt so _right_ to finally be able to hold her in his arms, but there was no chance of her allowing him to embrace her.

Not tonight, at least.

He gently set her onto the promised chair before pointing at the fireplace. " _Burn_."

A fire immediately roared to life, making the girl jump again with a surprised cry.

"My apologies," Baron told her a little helplessly, scooting the footstool enough away from her so that he could use it as his own seat. If it were not for the fact that this was the first time since the study was completed that there was ever more than one cat to stay in it long enough to rest, he would have asked himself why he had not thought to outfit his study with more than one chair. "I am certain that part of your trembling is from the current lack of heat of your new body. That will pass in time."

She tried to ask him a question but stopped when he held up his hand to silence her.

"Please," he begged with a tired smile. "All of my attempts to learn your language have been met with failure. If you wish me to understand you as you understand me, you will need to use my tongue instead of yours. I made certain you could."

She blinked before closing her eyes. Taking in a deep breath, the center of his existence tried again. "W-hoo… are… you?" she asked slowly, trying out each word individually before offering them to him, like a child learning to talk.

The tawny lord gave her a beaming smile before offering a deep bow from his low seat. "I am Baron, the Apprentice Keeper of Spring on the planet of Althea. And you are?" he asked eagerly.

The love of his life gave him a baffled look but took in her breath. "Yo…shi..oka… Haru."

He cocked his head, remembering both of those sounds frequently from when he watched her on her own planet. They could have been common phrases for all he knew, but he weighed the sound of each word in his head before trying another question. "Do I have your permission to address you as Haru?"

Thankfully she nodded, but still looked very confused. Some of her fear was starting to fade, which he saw as a good sign. "W-hat… is… going on?"

"Ah, that is a bit of a long story," Baron told her with a nervous laugh and rubbing one ear a little harshly. "But here are the bare bones you need to know. I've known for the past eight years of your life that you were going to die an early death you never deserved." He couldn't repress a shudder from literally being forced to watch her die before managing a shaky smile for her benefit. "I had been afraid that there was nothing to be done about it, but when you took up with Frankenstein's story, well…" He spread his hands out to her and his study to indicate where that line of thought had led him.

Haru stared at him in open-mouthed horror. " _F-Frankenstein?_ " she managed to choke out.

He cocked his head in worry. "It was a sound theory, although quite unorthodox, and I didn't exactly have a number of options to choose from. What are you doing?" he asked as she yanked one sleeve past her elbow in order to look at her arm.

Light tan fur was covering it, and the soft strands were undisturbed. She hurriedly checked her other arm to be on the safe side, as well as her neck and face.

"What in Althea are you looking for?" Baron asked, completely bewildered as he stared at the love of his life.

" _Stitches_ ," she whispered, her large eyes widening further as if struck by an idea. She huddled in the chair with her arms wrapped around her front, staring at him fearfully.

"Why would you have stitches?" he asked patiently. "I only finished that body ten minutes before your death began." _'What is so terrible about using her story for inspiration?'_

Haru took in a deep breath to try to calm herself. "Frankenstein… sewed parts of… bodies together… to make his."

Baron gaped, even leaning back on his little seat in horror. " _Bodies_? As in… that's barbaric! No, no; I assure you that I did not need a single corpse to make that body." He waved his hand in a negative gesture to further his point. "The donors are alive, in perfect health, and gave their willing consent."

His creation breathed a deep sigh of relief. "Then… how?"

He smiled gently, and his hands were still up in a soothing gesture. "I deconstructed and blended the genetics in their fur and blood samples to create everything from your bone structure to the color and texture of your fur. It is a good thing I already perfected the art before you took up with Frankenstein, or I would not have been able to save your life. As things stood, it is still a bit of a miracle that you're here. Constructing an entire body was far more intricate than the usual replacement organs, not to mention it took far longer." He made a gesture to the glass box she had woken up in. "It is a good thing I was able to procure a larger sealant container, or the body would not have stayed fresh for you."

Haru looked over at the glass box, her large brown eyes still troubled. They had not changed from the shape he was used to seeing on her, even though he had constructed her new body to match a typical cat's body from this world. There were other minute changes from his original design to mark her as different from any other woman, but Baron was willing to admit to himself that he had never needed confirmation on that score.

"Why… am I… here?" Haru managed to say after a long moment of thinking.

Baron coughed nervously. With her mind still shaken from the journey, it would not be wise to give her any more information at this point. "Perhaps I will tell you in the morning. Your nerves-"

"Are snapped," she interrupted, her gaze turning stubborn. "I died. I soared through outer space. I am a cat. This place is strange. You know me. I do not know you. Why am I here?!" she nearly demanded as her body continued to shake.

Her volume would have been louder if her lungs had been strong enough for it.

' _Well, short sentences are better than broken ones, I suppose.'_ "I do not think you are quite ready to learn the reason why I brought you here," he told her honestly.

That endearing stubborn streak of hers made the girl glare at him with defiance. "Try me."

"… Very well," the feline lord sighed, knowing he was going to regret telling her so soon. "I arranged for you to come here after your first death because I have loved you for years and I wish to make you my wife."

She gaped soundlessly.

"Not immediately, of course," he added hastily. "I _am_ a stranger to you after all, and-" Baron cut off the sentence to leap forward.

Even then, he almost was not fast enough to catch the girl when she fell over the side of the chair in a dead faint.

"Just for the record, I truly did try to spare you from the added stress," he informed her while easing the girl into his arms in a bridal style. "But I _do_ hope you will be more open to the idea after a bit of well-earned rest."

He knew he should restrain his impulses, but it was impossible to resist the urge to nuzzle her head fur a little.

Haru still smelled like magic, with a slightly burnt smell that was likely due to the lightning from earlier that evening. It would probably take a few weeks for the body he had made for her to develop its own unique scent. He could hardly wait.

Cradling her proudly in his arms, Baron carefully made his way to the door of his study and undid the magic lock he had placed there before his great experiment could start its final phase. It was a winding staircase to the bottom, but even in the dark of this night, he knew each step almost by its first name. There was absolutely no chance of a misstep even if his eyes had been gouged out, which thankfully had not been required.

Even before undoing the latch on the door at the bottom of the stairs, he could hear the panicked voices of his parents, now tired with the effort of trying to get his attention through the stone and magic barriers.

Grinning like an idiot, he held himself to his full height and slightly adjusted his hold on Haru so that her cheek was resting against his heart.

How could she be so enchanting, even like this? He could not wait to tell her so for himself.

As soon as he undid the magic lock on this entrance as well, his own dear father threw open the door with a loud cry.

That cry cut itself off as his green eyes immediately trailed down to the occupant of his son's arms, and a feminine gasp could be heard from behind him.

"Mother, Father," Baron saluted them with a wild smile. "Proper introductions will need to wait a little longer, but this is Haru. I'm afraid her first name is a bit on the unpronounceable side."

"Son, surely you do not mean…" his father tried to say, gesturing to the young lady in his arms when words failed him.

Baron's grin grew even happier. "I do. Do not forget your promise; you said you would accept her if she was one of us."

His mother stared at the comatose girl in horror. " _What have you_ _ **done**_?"

Baron couldn't resist sneaking a tighter hold on his future wife, the best he could manage for a hug while carefully maneuvering around his father. "I have given both of us a new lease on life. Mind you, I have not stopped her death entirely, but I have calculated that she'll live for another thirty-nine years."

"Why thirty-nine?" his father dared to whisper.

Baron grinned happily, even though he knew they would not like the answer. "Because I had to sacrifice half of my remaining lifespan in order for her soul and new body to permanently merge. Oh, do not look at me like that, Mother," he laughed, giving her a kiss on the cheek as he walked past her as well to pick out a room for the center of his existence.

"We both know the years would have been wasted anyway if I had allowed her to die."

xxXxx

A/N; From here, the story would have almost turned into a Looney Tune short with Haru trying elaborate ruses to escape Baron, but failing miserably every time since even though no one really approves of Baron courting her, they know better than to cross him by helping her escape or even turning a blind eye to her attempts to leave. I was struggling through why on earth Haru should give a chance to someone that was basically holding her prisoner like a damsel in a classic fairy tale. I'm pretty sure I came up with the idea of Muta and Pelia acting as her new parents after giving up this approach because Haru doesn't need pressure at this point, she needs love and support. I slightly referenced this first draft when Haru flat out said that if Baron had been able to tell her what was going on from the beginning, she would have fought him tooth and claw.


	12. Pirates

A/N; Updating Tuesday's prompt early because I'm having a sleepover with nieces, and I don't have internet connection at my parent's place. My lappy gets too attached and refuses to admit that it's a bad connection when I'm at home.

Birthday Bash 2019 Prompt 2

12\. Pirates

So… _bored!_

Haru had no trouble forcing herself to admit that the worst part about being bored at one of her father's parties was that she wasn't allowed to look like she could fall asleep standing up. As a member of the aristocracy, more to the point a woman of the aristocracy, it was her duty to be charming and vivacious no matter her personal opinion.

Not that it really seemed to matter. Haru had come of age three months ago, and the only suitors coming to call on her were just as boring as the quadrille she was forced to dance without complaint.

The one currently holding her hand was as boring as they came. He didn't really speak to her as they moved back and forth in a dance that was a lot more synchronized walking than what Haru ever considered dancing. She wistfully remembered the folk dances she had been able to glimpse both from her bedroom window and while traveling past in a carriage with her father ordering her to quit gawking.

Not one of the peasants she ever saw dancing looked bored. Exhausted, perhaps, but also happy.

Haru dismally wondered what it would be like to be happy.

Front, back, front, to the side, yawn. It was sad that Haru had perfected the art of yawning with her mouth closed.

At last the song ended, and Haru was allowed to let go of Hamish's hand so that she could clap politely for the musicians.

"Meet me in front of the gazebo in five minutes," he ordered, nodding shortly before leaving her side.

Haru did her best not to sigh, but she was grateful to be leaving the dance floor. Her corset was digging at her ribs underneath her pale blue dress, and there wouldn't be any relief from it until the party was over and she could bribe her maid into removing it again.

"Hors d'oeurve, my lady?" a handsome young waiter asked while holding up a platter of fruit slices on toothpicks.

Haru helped herself to a melon cut while giving him a polite nod. As trained, she couldn't let the food smear her lipstick, but she couldn't look awkward about eating, either.

It was all such a ridiculous balancing act. Coming to parties she didn't like, talking and dancing with people she liked even less, all for a future that she would have given just about anything to avoid.

Mostly for something to do, she walked over to the edge of the garden area that had been fenced off to keep anyone from accidentally falling off the steep cliff. She stared out to the sea beyond and tried to hear the distant call of seagulls over the endless chatter from the party behind her.

"Champagne, my lady?" a different server offered her with a smile, holding his platter carefully since it mostly had empty wine glasses on it.

She gave that young man a polite smile before turning back to the sea. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm a little afraid there will be no going back for me if I turn to alcohol."

He blinked but leaned against the fence in conversation. "That's very prudent of you. At least half of the guests will probably be tipsy within the hour."

Haru couldn't resist a smirk as she forced herself to give him a more careful look. He was handsome, taller than her with light golden hair that reached his chin. His blue eyes were an even paler shade than her dress, and his waiter's uniform made him look very professional.

"Why else do you think I don't drink? There isn't much real amusement in my life, and I have a nasty suspicion that I'll have even less before this party is over," she admitted in a low tone, sneaking a glance over one shoulder in hopes that no one overheard her.

The waiter cocked an eyebrow. "Then you know about young Lord Ascot's little surprise?"

Haru nodded miserably. "Father already informed me that I'll be disowned if I say no. Hamish has already been humiliated by Lady Alice Kingsleigh's elopement, and I…"

Don't have anyone to elope with.

She forced herself to face the sea again, angry with herself for not being brave enough to climb over the protective fence and be done with her boring existence. "I just wish I didn't have to go through with it," the young noblewoman mourned.

It was a few seconds before she heard the waiter give a low, amused chuckle. "Then your wish is my command."

Just as she was looking up at him in confusion, a bomb went off not that far from the dance floor. Haru jumped with a surprised scream. She swiftly turned around to see the other party-goers screaming and running as dirt and branches flew, but didn't have the opportunity to see much more than that.

The waiter dropped his platter, letting the expensive wine glasses shatter on the grass as he grabbed the young noblewoman by the waist and completely jumped over the fence and over the cliff!

Haru screamed in terror, even as she felt a peculiar sensation ripple through her body. Despite the logistics, her legs stayed underneath her, and she could see the waiter walking very calmly on thin air.

"It's all right," he told her with calm amusement. "Just start moving your feet, and you'll be fine."

At a loss for anything else to do, Haru walked, feeling nothing but air and reeling from the not-quite solid surface she was stepping over.

She and the waiter suddenly dropped about a foot lower, and onto something that creaked under their feet like floorboards.

Just as their feet made contact, wood sprouted into view, spreading out around them until Haru could see that she was standing on the deck of a flying ship. Her mouth was agape with horror at the only possible explanation for all this flashy magic, even as her body continued to shake at the terrible fright of having all that open air under her.

"Retreat, Calcifer!" Howl Pendragon called, gripping a rope ladder with one hand and holding onto Haru's waist with the other. His wide grin was alarmingly like a child's, as if he had just made off with the cookie jar and wasn't going to share it.

The flying ship lurched under their feet, and the sharp tang of the ocean slapped against her face from a strong air current as the ship began bearing the opposite direction of her father's estate.

This wasn't good! This was nothing good! Still trembling and gasping for breath, Haru tried to pull away from the magician pirate.

"Oh, don't do that," Howl laughed, using ropes and steady beams to make his way to the closest cabin door while dragging her along for the ride. "If it turns out I'm mistaken, I might just be returning you within ten minutes. Or not, depending on your preference."

The door suddenly flew open, revealing a tired-looking old granny. "Let the girl go, Howl," she growled at him while offering her own gnarled hands to the young noblewoman. "The poor thing's scared to death, and all this is only a lucky guess, anyway."

It was probably stupid, but something about the old woman's bossy attitude made Haru eagerly pitch herself forward into that dubious protection. Regardless of what Howl had planned for her, she felt at least a little safer in someone else's care.

The old woman wrapped her arms around the girl's waist and guided her to the side of the door so that Howl could come in and shut it behind him.

"Shh, shh. It's always a little frightening to walk on air the first time," the hag crooned in a tender tone as Haru did her best to control her shaking. The effect should have been comical since she was a head and a half shorter than the noblewoman, but there were no complaints about _someone_ offering comfort.

The cabin she had been taken into looked surprisingly like a cozy living room. She couldn't even feel the pull of gravity as the ship fled the scene, and there were no signs of this room being anywhere but in a completely stationary house.

A young boy was eating on a sturdy table but looked up from his eggs at Haru. "So that's a princess, huh?" he asked after swallowing a mouthful.

Haru blinked and laughed a bit nervously. "No, not hardly. A marquis' daughter is all."

Howl beamed at her before walking over to an ornate little chest resting on top of a cabinet. "That is yet to be proven. Don't worry, we'll know soon enough if you're the one we need."

Haru gave a worried look to the old woman, who was still smiling gently at her as she relaxed their embrace.

"We want to see if you notice anything odd about what Howl is about to give you. I made Howl swear several times that you would be unharmed, and he knows I'll whack him with a broom if he tries anyway. Or _worse_ ," she growled while giving the captain a glare that meant trouble if he disobeyed.

Haru couldn't resist a nervous giggle as the famous pirate approached her with an expectant smile. Holding the chest with one arm, he undid the latch and opened the lid to present the contents to her.

It was a very ornate bracelet, made of gold vines that intersected each other in a flat but appealing band.

Haru liked it immediately. Hoping that she wasn't about to get in trouble, she reached her hand into the small chest and took it for a closer inspection. "It's pretty," she admitted, carefully looking it over. "And old. More than a few centuries for sure." She didn't think it was worth mentioning that the metal felt warm against her fingers since it was nice and toasty in the living room.

"Why don't you try it on?" Howl suggested eagerly. "If our research is correct, you might notice something."

Haru couldn't resist glaring at him before firmly setting the bracelet back into the chest. "I'm not _that_ naïve."

The old woman laughed approvingly. "Good thing I'm here, Howl, or you wouldn't be given an inch! Lady Haru, the bracelet will _not_ put an enchantment on you, and the magic on it is much older than any of us. Either it will do nothing, or you will have certain information put into your head. We only want that information."

Haru cocked her head, feeling a certain morbid curiosity. "What kind of information?" she asked suspiciously of the older woman, but only got a shake of the head for a response.

"The tighter the secret is, the better our chances of succeeding are. Only a moment or so will give us an answer."

Haru took in a deep breath and grabbed the bracelet to slip it on. "I must be stupid," she muttered under her breath as the gold wires slid into place.

She gasped as the vines tightened possessively around her wrist, making that arm fling out without her permission.

The old woman had sounded like Haru would instantaneously know what they wanted, but instead the comfortably humble room disappeared from her eyes, and it was like she was floating over open air again. The poor girl cried out in fright, but then the bracelet started dragging her, hurling her through the air like she was an arrow that had just been loosed. Open ocean rushed past her thankfully stationary feet, and seagulls flew by much faster than they would have if she hadn't been moving.

After a moment of this, she came to a sudden stop to a port city she had only visited once before.

"… _Thurnim_?" she asked under her breath, a little surprised that the bracelet was so insistent that she see it again.

But as soon as the city's name was off her lips, the image faded until she was once again standing in the strange cabin.

A wave of nausea overcame her, making her shudder and heavily lean on the old woman, who was thankfully strong enough to support her.

"Thurnim? Are you sure," Howl asked with more than a little confusion.

Haru took in several staggered breaths before nodding. "It's been a while, but I recognized some of the buildings. Was that all you needed?"

Howl was scowling as he helped himself to a chair next to the table where the little boy was staring at their guest instead of his meal. "That can't be right. Thurnim's too recent, and the geography is all wrong."

"Could an earthquake between back then and now account for the differences?" the old woman asked, easing the younger girl into a chair for her to rest.

"Sophie, it sunk into the sea. That would indicate a fair amount of distance from land. Why _Thurnim_?" Howl growled under his breath as he tried to think things over. He even sunk over his knees to hold his forehead between his hands.

Sunk into the sea. That was all the information Haru needed.

"You're going after the lost treasure of Radkaltis!" she exclaimed in surprise, looking down at the bracelet now so tightly against her arm, that there was no chance of her taking it off without a goldsmith's help. "Why did this thing show me Thurnim? Why didn't one of you put it on instead of kidnapping me?"

"Because you're a distant descendant of the royal house of Radkaltis," Howl informed her as he continued to try working out the puzzle. "It took me three years of false leads and distant hunches to find you. That bracelet is supposed to show us the way, but how could Thurnim be the place when it was just a cove for centuries after Radkaltis sunk?"

That was a good question. She studied the bracelet carefully before turning to look at the large map pinned on the wall behind her. "What if it's a bread crumb?" she asked curiously.

Howl looked up at her sharply enough to make the girl jump a bit. "What do you mean?" he asked in a low tone.

Sophie, on the other hand, was also looking at the map. "I see what you mean, Lady Haru. Howl, it could only be a marker, the place we need to visit in order to find out where to go next."

That made him break out in a large grin, almost jumping out of his seat in over to wrap one arm around the slightly overweight older woman. "Sophie, you're a genius!"

Haru felt a bit indignant since it was her idea, but the pirate magician turned and spoke too swiftly for her to argue the point.

"It's like this, my lady. I've burned a lot of bridges in my time, but if I can find that treasure, then I can take my little family anywhere that won't recognize us and we won't have to worry about where our next meal comes from. You, on the other hand, are completely miserable right where you are, and you heavily implied at the cliff that you would trade your current life for any other in a heartbeat."

Her heart pounded unsteadily at where he was leading this conversation. It pounded even harder as a new future began forming in her mind.

She would never have to obey her father again. She didn't have to marry Hamish or anyone like him! Even if Howl only let her walk away with as much as she could carry, that would set her up for life in a nice little villa wherever she chose. She could even not get married at all if she felt like it!

Even better; she would never have to have smoked eel and pretend to enjoy it for the rest of her life!

Some of her brown hair suddenly fell in her face as she tilted her head in thought. One experimental hand patted her tightly coiled hairstyle, and no shock could be mustered that half of the pins were missing from the strange fall or harsh ocean wind. Her hair must look like a disaster.

Instead of fussing about it, Haru started pulling out the other hairpins, grateful that none of the present company were that likely to scold her for the indecency. "What percentage were you going to offer for my compliance?" Haru asked conversationally, wanting to skip to the important bit as the rest of her hair came tumbling over her shoulders and back.

Howl grinned impishly before nodding at Sophie and the little boy that was watching everything without comment. "There's four of us, so one-quarter sounds fair. I don't see why even grandchildren are going to want for anything."

Haru nodded, keeping the image of a comfortable villa by the edge of the sea firmly in her mind as she set the pins in a neat pile in the discarded chest for now. But then she started at remembering her earlier terror at getting abducted by this particular pirate. "I have one condition before we shake hands. I don't think there's a polite way to talk about this, but you have a certain reputation with-"

Sophie reached forward from her place under Howl's arm and covered her mouth with a hand like worn leather. "I only agreed to this scheme if you are under _my_ charge," she stated while keeping her eyes firm on the noblewoman. "He won't be making any unwanted advances if he doesn't want me to bang him on the head again."

Haru's lipstick smeared against that hand as her lips curled into a smile that was both relieved and heavily amused. _'I'm starting to have my doubts on who the captain is.'_


	13. Angels and Demons

A/N; I had big plans for the story I was originally going to write after C+C. It was going to be a long epic, my magnum opus. And then C+C took so much out of me that I just wasn't interested in spending four years on just one story again. My original plan was for this story to span from early childhood to early adulthood, but there was a lot of angsty material to cover before getting to the part of the story that was going to have relevance. On top of that, there was going to be a lot of repeating myself since you were going to watch Haru go through some painful things, and then talk about them years later. So this is a part of the story I was going to gloss over, but it helps set the tone as well as make you question who is playing what role.

Also, I might not be posting this as a Cat Returns fic. I might just let it be an original story and sell it as a legit author.

Birthday Bash 2019 Prompt 3

13\. Angels and Demons

That wasn't her reflection in the water.

This wasn't some idle crisis of identity, but the simple fact that the face that was looking sadly up at her wasn't her own.

Haru ran a hand over the skin of her milky-white cheek, grateful for the airy tent that the Dead had set up for her. If not for this protection against the sun, her delicate new skin would be burnt to a crisp before noon.

It only stood to reason. She was all but a vampire at the moment. She looked up at her charge, bobbing without course or purpose across the lake in front of her.

Even as a swan, she was breath-taking. Her feathers almost seemed to be whiter than snow, and her long neck was elegantly resting against itself as the princess fought off sleep.

It was only her second day in captivity.

Haru mulled that over in her mind, even as a desperate yearning filled her chest. It had been many years since her mother's death, and **he** had only appeared to her twice since that time, one of which was two days ago when he brought the princess home and let Haru know exactly what he'd do to her if his intended mate was harmed, met a young man, or managed an escape while he slept the day away.

Wait, of course! Even Haru knew that **he** only came out at night, which meant that the princess probably hadn't slept a wink the past two nights out of sheer terror, even with her fairy godmother's blessing protecting her virtue.

No wonder the pale blonde's been nothing but grumpy towards her 'bodyguard'.

Haru stood up from her comfortable little collection of pillows to let the princess know she could have them but remembered at the last second that the princess' swan body would have a bit of trouble navigating a nest that didn't really have anything holding it together. She smiled while realizing how she _could_ fix this.

Her pale feet entered the water of the lake, the edge of her black silk dress turning soaked even as they turned into pitch-black feathers. Her arms automatically folded themselves to make turning into wings less awkward, and she had changed forms enough times through her lonely childhood not to be disoriented when her neck grew so long, she could inspect her own back without even a lick of trouble.

The princess awoke from her half-doze to glare at her keeper, but Haru didn't bother approaching her yet. Now a black swan, she used her paddle-like feet to swim like an arrow through the water, grabbing small branches and reeds with her beak and dragging them to the edge of the water that she thought her charge would be able to best navigate with her unfamiliar webbed feet.

Haru was glad that when she changed forms, she didn't just get the appearance and abilities, she also got their basic instincts. It was hard on her when she needed to be a fly and literally couldn't see spider webs, but at least she knew without looking stupid in front of the princess how to build a nest.

It took maybe an hour for the black swan to be satisfied with her work. Nodding her head and neck in approval, she then swiveled to look at the princess.

She had swum a little closer in curiosity, but almost frantically waved her wings to help herself glide backward to put more distance between them.

" _This is for you,"_ Haru told her in the language of birds. She swam a little to the side and gestured with her head. _"Your swan body won't have trouble sleeping here during the day. You know full well that I'm not really the one you're afraid of, and I can wake you up if_ _ **he**_ _comes out."_

Haru was careful never to call **that man** by name. After all, he had never bothered to tell her how he wanted to be addressed, at least by her.

If he hadn't brought this princess home to mate with, he'd still be ignoring her very existence. Haru swam backward again to give the pale swan a bigger radius of space for her to accept this gift.

Still glaring at the black swan suspiciously, the white one nonetheless took hesitant steps toward that nest until she was resting on top of the mound that looked a little bit like a mattress without its fabric case to hold it together. She seemed surprised at how comfortable her swan body found the nest, but sure enough was asleep within a minute.

Haru again nodded her approval, heading back to her own nest of pillows. But just as her black feet touched the gravel at the water's edge, she stopped at a new thought, carefully looking at the differences between her nest and the one she made for the princess.

Even a village idiot would think that her little shelter and collection of pillows was more suited to a princess than herself. Using her long neck to her advantage, Haru looked over her own swan body carefully.

Maybe that was why the princess was being so hostile. Denied her own human form during the daytime was bad enough, but being guarded by a human girl? Being forced to see a body that shouldn't be all that different from her own but having to paddle away on this lake like a duck since she wasn't comfortable with how to maneuver her swan body?

Haru made up her mind right then and there. As soon as a Dead came back with food for her and the princess, she'd have it take down her tent and bring her pillows back into the dark castle beside the lake.

A second nest some distance from the white swan's. That would put them on more even footing, especially if she stayed a swan when the princess had to.

Her beak didn't have the flexibility to smile, but she had to resist the impulse to fly from excitement. It went without saying that **he** didn't want the princess to even consider literal flight an option, and Haru would have been forced to chase her down anyway.

If she were careful about this captive's feelings and behaved herself… she might just earn her first friend.


	14. Prank War

A/N; Just a small glimpse of how Muta occupied himself before getting his family back in All I Have Needed.

Birthday Bash 2019 Prompt 4

14\. Prank War

It all started so innocently. Just a tiny bit of payback for one comment that felt over the line. Then, because the other one thought it was too much, there was payback for that.

By the time anyone thought to start keeping score, no one knew who had the most victories.

ooOoo

Toto slammed his fork on the table and spat out the peas that had been stuffed into what had appeared to be his favorite mulberry turnover.

"What's wrong?" Muta asked, eating a perfectly normal mulberry turnover with a smirk.

ooOoo

Muta shrieked with surprise as his peaceful walk through the manor's garden turned very wet and cold thanks to a swiftly confiscated hose.

ooOoo

The baron gave his favorite cook a firm look. "I mean it, Muta. Toto's only going to have one wedding day, and I will not have you ruining it for him."

The large man held up a hand as if swearing in court. "I did absolutely nothing to the cake or the wedding food that you or he won't approve of. You're completely right, this is Toto and Tara's special day, and it is not my place to add any drama," he recited a little too perfectly.

That firm look turned suspicious. "You are being far too compliant about this," he accused while crossing his arms like a tired parent. "You did something, now out with it."

Muta flinched and snuck a suspicious look around to make sure that the other cooks were still gone from the kitchen before quickly whispering in his lord's ear.

" _I bribed Otho. The only boxers Toto could find this morning is covered with bright pink flamingos._ "

Despite himself, the baron couldn't resist laughing at that one. He didn't even snitch, though the retaliation came right before Toto and his new wife left for their honeymoon.

ooOoo

"Can you say, 'Daddy is a chicken'?" Muta coaxed a two-year-old girl while waving a big cookie with nuts and raisins in front of her hypnotized eyes.

"Daddy is a chicken," Tanya recited obediently, holding her tiny hands out for the cookie.

"That's a good girl," he purred, handing her the cookie. "If you repeat that in front of your daddy, I'll get you another one."

ooOoo

"But it was an _accident_!" Toto tried to explain as he ran around the ballroom dressed as a clown, with an extremely angry samurai in hot pursuit as caramel dried in his hair and costume.

If it weren't for the wicked grin on the clown's face, someone might have bothered to believe him.

ooOoo

Toto held the portable phone to his shoulder, knowing how his friend would react to what he was about to say.

But with the desperate tone in the woman's voice, he had no choice but to try. Taking in a deep breath, he pushed open the kitchen door and whistled to get Muta's attention. "You've got a phone call, Lard Ball."

Muta looked up from the turkey he was basting with surprise. "Who is it?" he asked curiously as the other cooks also stopped what they were doing to hear more.

The newest cook of the von Gikkingen manor hadn't received a single phone call since he began work. He had never been shy about admitting that the arrangement suited him just fine, but the peculiarity had his attention.

Toto took in a deep breath while walking closer. "You'll think it's a prank if I tell you, but she sounds like she's in a lot of trouble. I'm… certain that you're her last resort." He offered the portable phone with a somewhat pleading expression.

Giving his friend a suspicious look, Muta set the baster down and held the phone to his ear. "Hey. What do you want?" he asked grumpily like he was expecting a prank phone call.

As Toto overheard the first syllable out of the woman's mouth, he was astonished to see the change it brought on the large cook.

Muta's mouth fell open as a gasp escaped his control. He bumped once against the counter on his way to the ground, landing on his backside with a thunderous slap of flesh against tile.

" _Naoko_ ," he breathed with such a reverence, it nearly made Toto weep.

The man was still head over heels for his estranged wife.

ooOoo

Toto had to go to the internet for this one. He followed all the directions, he alerted the other cooks not to set off the trap, and he had an ideal excuse to hang around the kitchen again this morning.

His best friend's teenage daughter was a gift from heaven, and he'd get into an actual fight with anyone that tried to disagree with him.

Little Tommy was resting his head happily against Haru's shoulder, and she was contentedly running her exposed cheek over his soft baby hair and taking in the scent.

Toto still felt terrible about letting her think that everyone had gotten worked up over her scars instead of the normal side of her face. He had to keep reminding himself that it was actually the kinder option, and there was the chance that Muta might decide to leave the manor if he even suspected-

No. Humbert was no fool. Even if he was able to determine that Haru used to be Lucy, what good would it do? Despite his looks, he was too old for her, and she was underaged. She was going to make some lucky young man very happy, but not for at least a few more years. They would work on weaning her off the mask in the meantime.

She bounced Tommy a few times in her grasp, making him giggle with delight as he kept a firm grip on her black shirt.

Paul looked over the latest batch of pancakes cooking in front of him and finally used the line that Toto had begged of him. "Muta? Don't you think that sprinkling nuts on the uncooked side of the pancakes be a nice touch?"

Just as Toto suspected, his best friend's eyes lit up at the suggestion. "Yeah and cut up some bananas to serve with them! Hold on," Muta begged, innocently walking to the fateful cupboard and opened it for the walnuts.

The rubber band snapped from the extra stretch, making a cheesecloth bag full of plain cooking flour fling itself right into Muta's face. It exploded _everywhere_ , making Muta stumble and fall backward while choking on the flour he had accidentally inhaled.

Toto began laughing… but that died in his throat as he got a good look at Haru's expression.

The poor girl was already as pale as a sheet, but she seemed paler still as her eyes went wide with horror. Although she couldn't speak, there almost seemed to be a flashing sign over her head that screamed 'TRIGGERED!'

The others must have seen that face as well, because the room was dead silent as Haru passed Tommy to his father. Even more worrying than the 'triggered' look, a second mask of complete blankness overtook her features. It seemed to be a very old, practiced look that had probably been useful to keep herself from crying in public.

She came forward almost automatically, helped her father to his feet, and led him over to one of the sinks so that she could start cleaning him off. Her hands were very gentle as she wiped away the worst of the flour bomb, only taking breaks to rinse her wash rag from the paste the flour kept turning into.

Naoko looked around before locating a broom and dustpan, sneaking worried glances at her husband and child as she started sweeping up the remaining mess without a single word.

… What had Haru _been_ through? Toto hadn't seen even one hint that she missed her life in Japan in the two months since she came here.

Neither did Naoko, for that matter. Then there was that subtle hint at his first time changing Haru's bandages that the fire that had destroyed their home and half of the sweet girl's face had been intentional. But Haru was such a sweet girl, who could possibly have hated her enough to do such a thing?

Muta knew. Toto knew his friend well enough to see the fathomless regret in his eyes as well as the understanding for his daughter's reaction.

He looked up at the lord's cousin and gave a subtle shake of the head.

The game was over.

Toto nodded his agreement, although he was desperately curious to know what all had happened in Japan.

If only Haru was ready to talk. It would make it so much easier for Humbert to determine if she used to be Lucy if they could just hear what was on her mind.


	15. Crossover

Birthday Bash 2019 Prompt 5

15\. Crossover

Haru grunted in pain as she was slammed against a tree deep within the woods, and two golden snakes shot out like bullets to start wrapping around both her and the tree to hold her fast. Their bodies were impossibly long for how narrow their bodies were, but physics were merely suggestions to their creator.

"This will be the last day of your life, puny mortal," the white-haired demon sneered at her, but she was already shaking off the discomfort.

As sad as it sounded, she was even used to the snake heads hissing dangerously, one to each ear.

"You feel like taking bets on how many of your snakes are going to die tonight?" she asked with a surprisingly indifferent tone. "It's a Tuesday, so I'm guessing three."

The tall blue-skinned being bristled angrily before taking slow menacing steps until they were nearly nose to nose. "Will you take this more seriously?! I have the power to drag you down to the gulfs of misery and endless woe!"

"So do my college professors," Haru answered like she didn't care, hoping that Hiromi would find her at any second. "Do we really want to go through the whole routine tonight? I'll buy if you're up for ice cream instead."

His eyes were now literally blazing with blue fire. " _I do_ _ **not**_ _eat ice cream. I am not some mere professor. I am a_ _ **demon**_ _, and you_ _ **will**_ _learn to fear me if it's the last thing I beat into you!"_

"Are you certain of that?" a new voice asked from the other side of the tree that Haru was bound to.

Haru wasn't stupid enough to look away from whatever demon was currently threatening her, so she literally had a front row seat to when Apollo turned his flame-filled eyes away from her to look at the intruder. Even the snake heads turned where they were posed and gave hisses that almost sounded like screams of absolute terror.

The blue fire immediately went out, revealing a very naked fear in Apollo's silvery eyes. "G-Gikkingen!" he gasped, stumbling backward from his victim like he had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"My my. What questionable circumstances I've come across, and on my first visit to the surface in over a century."

Haru was insanely curious as to why someone with that polite of a British accent would strike such fear into a demon that made a habit of kidnapping her once or twice a week for the past month. But she still kept her eyes on Apollo, enjoying his panic for the moment.

"Why don't we cut a deal?" the new voice asked as gentle footsteps drew closer and closer. "You release the young lady and start running. If you're nowhere to be found on this continent in ten minutes, I won't hunt you down."

Apollo gave a strangled cry and immediately held his hand out for his equally hysterical snakes.

They unwrapped from Haru and shot towards their master, each one wrapping around one arm and part of his chest until they resembled an intricate body tattoo. That didn't keep them from shaking and whimpering like dogs that were about to be whipped

Apollo didn't waste a second before dissolving into a pillar of blue flame, which faded away until nothing and no one was there at all.

Haru would have collapsed to her knees if a steady hand didn't catch her by the elbow and shoulder.

"I hope you won't judge all demons by Apollo, miss. But I am quite impressed with how well you kept your head."

Haru managed a small scoff before looking up at the demon that had nearly made her regular tormentor faint from terror.

… For a demon, he wasn't half-bad. Just a man that had a cat's head and dressed like an old-fashioned gentleman. No, he had a tail too. Maybe he was a cat hybrid? There was even a bit of fur peaking from between his long sleeves and gloved hands.

She looked him up and down before asking the inevitable as she steadied herself with his assistance. "So, do I say 'thank you' or find out what _you're_ about to wrap me into?"

He started in surprise. "What? Why would I… How _did_ you maintain your calm when faced by Apollo? I've seen humans flee and bleat like sheep at far less than what he did to you just now."

Well, there wasn't much of a chance of keeping him from finding out at the rate his curiosity was going.

"My sister's the Slayer. Well, best friend that's practically my sister," Haru corrected herself with a wry smile, forcing herself to stand on her own two feet. "Almost every demon, vampire, and unholy beast of the night since high school's been using me for bait, blackmail, intimidation, one brain-washing that Hiromi was able to snap me out of, you name it."

His large green eyes grew wider in understanding. "Ah. You're _that_ one. I should have known." He took a few steps backward in order to give her a grand bow. "It is an honor to finally meet you, Haru." Even after he stopped bowing to her, the tabby feline kept his top hat to his heart in a tender salute. "I am pleased to report that your name is being used as an expletive by the demons that survive the thrashing the Slayer provides to anyone that threatens you."

"I _tried_ to warn them," Haru insisted through a naughty smile, though she was secretly wondering what to do from here. She had occasionally met a decent vampire, a shapeshifter that knew how to respect a simple 'no', but a demon?

The cat demon only laughed at her statement. "It takes a rare demon to heed a warning that he doesn't want to hear, especially since your sarcastic reputation appears to be completely deserved. Please allow me to introduce myself; I am Baron Humbert von Gikkingen, and I have zero intention of causing you harm or distress."

Haru cocked her head and decided to go for it. "A pleasure to meet you, then. Will you mind if I ask _why_ you decided to visit topside?"

He gave her a sheepish smile. "I got bored. My pocket dimension in the Underworld is such that I almost never feel the urge to go and poke around other demons, let alone topside." Then his smile turned just a shade wicked. "For some reason, the other demons very much prefer for me to stay in my dimension. They seem to feel that I disrupt the natural order of their work."

That could either be good or bad, Haru concluded. He must be extremely powerful to only need the threat of becoming irritated to send Apollo running with his forked tail between his legs. But he was being extremely courteous to her, and all the little danger signals her body could pick up were serenely silent. She didn't even have to pretend that her heart rate was normal.

"How about I take you for some ice cream instead of Apollo?" she invited, even though she wasn't sure that intentionally staying around a demon was the smartest thing to do. "I owe you that much for helping me skip the regular routine."

His amazing green eyes lit up happily as he returned his hat to its perch. "I would be delighted. Have humans figured out how to make more than vanilla and chocolate since my last visit?"

Haru stared at him, slowly grabbed one of his hands, and guided him out of the woods to the road of enlightenment. "Yes."

xxXxx

A/N; This is one of the ideas that I had after watching musical clips from the Buffy episode 'Once More With Feeling'. I've never sat down and watched the show, but Dawn looked like she was as standard a damsel in distress as you can get, with a dose of annoying on the side. But then I thought about how often Dawn probably got kidnapped thanks to being associated with Buffy, and I thought this would be a very funny way to show that certain clichés really can get overused.


	16. Catsitting

A/N: Dedicated to Blue's complete inability to leave me alone even for a second, and Coco's refined acceptance of her brother's possessive behavior. If he hadn't kept trying to steal kisses during my last two rounds of catsitting, I probably wouldn't have written this.

Birthday Bash 2019 Prompt 6

(Free Choice)

16\. Catsitting

Baron got down on his haunches, nestling himself into a pouncing position as he got ready for his favorite time of the day. His large orange ears twitched almost in time with the ticking clock on the far wall from him. All he needed was a single sound outside of a passing car or a barking dog, and he would know that she was coming back to him.

"You _do_ remember that we're fixed, of course?" Louise asked while turning her head enough to lick her shoulders and as much of her back as she could reach.

"They can't fix my heart," Baron retorted stubbornly, giving himself a long body stretch so that he would be ready for the magical moment.

After what felt like an eternity for him, but the clock insisted was only fifteen minutes, there was a familiar rhythm of human feet approaching the front door, and a jingling of housekeys was heard.

Immediately forgetting about his plan to pounce, Baron walked close enough to the door to make sure that his precious human wouldn't get away from him. "Welcome home, Haru!" he called as his heart began to soar.

"Coming, Baron," she laughed, opening the door and eliminating the barrier between them.

"Oh, how I've missed you," the orange tabby informed her as he rubbed his body against the legs of her pants. He noted with unsuppressed glee that his hair was still on them from yesterday.

His white-furred sister hopped onto a small table close to the door as the human closed it behind her. "Hello, Haru," she greeted with just as much warmth, though with a lot more dignity, earning an affectionate rub from head to tail.

"Now that's just not fair!" Baron demanded, intentionally walking next to and between Haru's legs as she walked past the living room and into the bathroom beyond the kitchen.

"Baron, I'm going to step on you again if you don't ease up a little," his dear human laughed, doing her best not to kick the tabby as she finally made it to their litterboxes.

"I _have_ mentioned how much I've missed you, Haru?" Baron pleaded, continuing to rub his body against her legs even as she shoveled undesirable things out of the litterboxes and into a waiting trash can.

"Baron, I love you, but you really need to let me do this. Cuddle time's coming, you just need to be patient."

But the orange tabby refused to relent, intentionally rubbing his face against her hand around the little shovel to try convincing her that a clean litterbox was optional. "I don't _want_ to be patient. I want your attention. I want your scratches. I want _you_."

"I hope you know you look ridiculous, brother," Louise called from the doorway of the bathroom with barely concealed amusement. "Even if Haru could understand us, it's not like you could really court her."

"Stop shattering my dreams," he sharply told his sister without breaking stride in his attempts for Haru's attention.

The human girl finally stood up, bending backward to make her spine pop back into place. "All right. _Now_ it's cuddle time," she smirked at the feline around her ankles before making a deliberate step out of the bathroom.

Although Baron wasn't thrilled with her routine when she came to call, he was ecstatic that his favorite part of the visit was finally here.

Putting more distance between them than he had allowed before, he raced through the small kitchen and waited expectantly next to the large couch. Louise wasn't far behind him, but she managed to keep her peace about how happy she was as well.

"Silly kitties," Haru cooed lovingly as she sat on the ground in front of the couch and offered one hand per cat.

Baron was soon putty under her experienced touch. "Mmh, right there," he growled, walking away just enough to make her fingers go where he needed them to. "You make heaven a place on earth, Haru."

Louise had chosen to hop onto the couch and walk slightly behind Haru's head to make the other arm strain in order to touch her. "On that much, we can agree. It's such a shame Shizuku and Seigi don't usually invite her over more often when they're home." Once the human's hand was at just the right angle, Louise twisted her head enough to start licking that bare wrist.

Baron couldn't resist a deep purr as Haru kept finding itches he didn't know he had until she started relieving them. He placed a cream-colored paw on one leg to put his face closer to hers.

Egg on toast again. Some water, and a bath last night. He liked the shampoo she used this time but couldn't exactly name the scent.

"No kisses, Baron," she laughed, pulling her face away when he got too close. "We've talked about this, remember?"

He pouted but obediently got off her leg to start rubbing himself down one side until reaching her feet. That's when he started nuzzling her shoes with wild abandon.

"What _is_ it with you and my feet, you silly goose?!" Haru laughed as his fur tickled her bare ankle.

"More of your scent is concentrated there," Baron answered, already knowing that the explanation was falling on deaf ears.

It was Haru's only flaw, as far as he was concerned. If Haru could speak Cat, their conversations would surely become such that she could never make herself leave him.

The bird was jumping again. His eyes became alert as he stared at the small black bird that was slowly passing in front of him.

His predatory instincts were too much to ignore. He pounced, just catching the bird before it got away to start slowly moving across the emerald green carpet once more, silently taunting the tabby. He jumped again, but the bird got away to start flying over his head.

Baron rolled onto his back, batting at the small black bird and trying to bite it to prove his prowess to Haru. If he could just catch that bird, she'd be so pleased with him!

It took a few more minutes before he remembered that there was a string attached to the bird, and a long stick attached to the string. He looked over at Haru for approval but noted sourly that his sister was draped over Haru's lap like a smug queen. One of the girl's perfect hands was gently caressing his sister's back over and over, and the other was handling the long stick to make the black bird jump around for him.

Baron couldn't help feeling sheepish, but at least Haru was smiling. She was so _pretty_ when she smiled!

Abandoning his fight with the toy, he drew close enough to make her drop the stick in favor of petting him again.

This was the life. He didn't care too much for the world outside his home, but there were times when he envied it.

That world got a lot more time with his Haru than he did. He couldn't help wondering if she ever sat and watched the clock for when she could come see him.

He knew she loved him back. He knew it in his very soul. A sigh escaped between his purrs that they had been born different species. Haru would have made a stunning feline. She called him a handsome tom all the time, so surely he could have made an equally handsome human. Then he could follow her to the outside world without Seigi or Shizuku grabbing him before he even got all the way out the front door.

All too soon, cuddle time was over, the water and food bowls were refilled, and she was locking the door behind her again with a warm farewell.

Baron could barely force himself to eat the kibble before Louise got everything. "Is it tomorrow yet?" he asked miserably.

Louise smirked at him between mouthfuls. "I bet you wish those Cat Kingdom tales were real."

Baron looked up at the door Haru had disappeared through, his whole heart in his sad green eyes. "Just the ones about turning into a human would be lovely."


	17. Great British Bake Off

A/N: This is the deleted scene for All I Have Needed, when Muta comes to work for Baron.

Birthday Bash 2019 Prompt 7

17\. Great British Bake Off

Muta was staring at his wedding ring again. He couldn't help it; other than a single photo he had been smart enough to slip in with his clothes when he forced himself to leave, it was the only reminder of his dearly beloved wife. He vaguely wondered what she was doing right now but smiled wryly before the speculation got too far.

With the time difference between here and Japan, she was probably in bed under one of her own show-stopping quilts. She was so _beautiful_ when she slept, and the mere thought of her like that made him kick himself again for being stupid enough to say goodbye.

It had been so _hard_ to write in the application for this job that he wouldn't be bringing any family with him if he was lucky enough to come live in this beautiful manor. Against his will, he could see a small child with his hair running through the large gardens he had glimpsed while driving up to this secluded estate, with Naoko in hot pursuit and a happy laugh dancing out of her lips-

A door suddenly opened, making him and the other two occupants of the parlor start at the sound.

"Good morning, everyone!" a tall dark-haired man about Muta's age chirruped like a bird, closing the door behind him so that he could stroll up to the three sitting in a row.

Muta took a side glance to again scope out the competition. The man on his right was of a medium height and serious manner, sitting with his arms folded and a small smile on his lips. The tiny middle-aged woman just beyond him had spent the waiting time twisting a Kleenex between her hands out of sheer nerves.

The cocky young man that had come in stood in front of them with a mischievous smile. "Allow me to introduce myself; I am Toto von Gikkingen, the baron's cousin and right hand. I have to say that this was a tough decision to make, but please be flattered that you three were the ones summoned to the manor. It was near impossible to whittle the choices down this much."

"So what's round two?" Muta asked bluntly. He couldn't quite place why this noble was rubbing his senses the wrong way, but he really wanted this job and didn't want to fight through a lot of dramatics to claim it.

Toto blinked, but otherwise didn't react. "A cooking contest. The rules are simple enough; you are free to use anything in the kitchen that you want, the cooks we already have made enough cold food to last the residents of the manor the rest of the day to give the three of you free reign. My cousin will be the final judge of who gets the job." Then he grinned wickedly while rapping his fingernails against the side of a very old bookcase. "But since he and I agreed that getting served the same thing three times would be boring even if the techniques differ, I am instructed to give the three of you a description."

The slimmer man next to Muta gave a polite cough. "Are we meant to guess what the dish is from the description?"

Toto's grin almost turned feral. "You are free to interpret the description any way you please. You have all been advised of my cousin's allergies, and I asked for some of the cooks to stay and make sure you could find everything you could want. I went out of my way to ensure that the food pantry and refrigerators have plenty for an imaginative mind to work with."

Muta grinned ferally as he slowly stood up. "Show us the kitchen."

"Um, can we know the description now?" the little woman asked timidly. "I'm not so good with surprises."

Toto gave her a compassionate smile and a theatric bow before announcing the challenge. "It's 'Purple Nirvana'."

ooOoo

It was good to be working in a real kitchen again. After the falling out with his birth family after one too many insults to Naoko, Muta had been forced to take little jobs in diners and such after placing a bigger bet than he should have at the chance of working at an exclusive London restaurant.

His hands were swift, and his kitchen knife almost danced on the cutting board. Instead of rose petals at such an impressive display, bits of rhubarb collected into a pile as they were rhythmically swept to one side of the board so that he could keep chopping.

"I don't think rhubarb and blackberries go together," Paul informed him a little hesitantly, eyeing the much bigger man like he was expecting a tantrum.

Muta responded with a roll of the eyes before dumping the rhubarb into his blackberry mixture. "Don't criticize my ideas until you've tasted them." _'Naoko used to love my rhubarb blackberry jam.'_

He felt another sting of regret, mostly at how he left his wife and a little bit over his favorite cookbooks he hadn't thought to take with him. He remembered most of the notes he had scribbled into the pages to take the taste of almost any dish he tried to the next level, but it just wasn't the same as knowing you had the option to look something up if you were remembering incorrectly.

Did Naoko throw them away? She had been one for 'bare bones' cooking, just the essentials needed to sustain her body so that she could get back to quilting as quickly as possible. They had both loved to joke that his passion for cooking was one of the reasons she had fallen for him so easily. Did she think of him half as often as he thought about her?

The crust was finally done to a perfectly golden crispness. Muta wasted no time in retrieving it, filling it with his specially enhanced jam, and flicking tiny bits of the extra crust over the top of the pie to imitate stars before slipping it back into the oven.

His male competitor gave the pie one look as he slipped his eggplant creation into the oven next to Muta's. "You need more upper crust," he told the larger man with a critical eye.

"You need to mind your own business," Muta snapped, moving his dirty dishes to the sink to start the second part of cooking.

Paul sighed happily, taking out a dish towel to start drying off each wet item as it was placed on the drying rack. "Nice to know we won't have to worry about your mess later."

Muta gave a shrug as he scrubbed the remnants of purple filling out of the biggest bowl. "I'm lazy. If I do it now, I won't have to do it later."

"What I wouldn't give for some ube," the last competitor muttered as she used a pasta roller for a dough made from purple beets.

ooOoo

… It was official. The von Gikkingen family had a weakness for dramatics.

Each of the contestants was standing behind the covered dish they had been laboring over, and they were all standing on one side of a long table covered with an impossibly long white tablecloth. Instead of this elimination round being professional and private, Muta couldn't help but feel like he was on a baking show instead of a job trial.

There were over twenty people lined up behind him like a live audience, all fellow servants from the look of them, but that didn't bother him. It seemed to be scaring the female competitor, but she was managing to hold herself strong against the eyes she could feel on her back.

The more fit chef was on the far end, standing up straight like a soldier. Muta kept himself in his comfortable slouch and with an easy smile on his face.

Naoko had been the perfect test subject for many of his recipes, even before their extremely short courtship. He should have been more worried than this, but something deeper seemed to say that he was supposed to stay in the manor.

After far too long, the far door finally opened and admitted two men.

It was easy to spot the similarities between Toto and his lord of a cousin, but there were definitely enough differences other than coloring to separate the two.

Unlike his energetic cousin, Baron Humbert von Gikkingen looked like he was recovering from a long sickness. His body didn't seem wasted or reduced, but he was moving like a man that hadn't known sleep in years, and that he had fallen down the stairs on the way to the dining hall. His pale face screamed that he either wasn't able to leave the manor house or simply had no desire to venture to the outside world.

Muta knew that tiredness, and his heart automatically went out to the man. He knew next to nothing about this possible employer, but it was as plain as day that something had happened to break his heart. The worried expression on Toto's face as he snuck glances at his cousin only confirmed the suspicion.

The baron gave a polite nod to the three chefs and sat himself at the only place on the table with a formal setting for a meal. "I hope you will forgive my lack of energy. Last night wasn't the best rest I've ever received." He inched his surprisingly simple plate towards the trio.

The woman gently set some of her beet ravioli on the white china, and Muta added a generous slice of his pie before letting the woman nudge the plate closer to the last man so that he could add half of a stuffed eggplant.

The young baron looked between the three offerings in front of him carefully, selecting a fork full of pie at random.

As soon as his mouth closed over the bite, Muta _**knew**_ he had the job.

Those green eyes closed in complete bliss as he savored that morsel for a long happy moment that he very clearly needed. "You're hired," he informed the large man before digging more heartily into the pie.

"Hey!" the eggplant cook protested angrily. "Shouldn't you try **all** of our foods before deciding?!"

Toto offered the rejected cooks an apologetic smile before leaning enough to whisper into his cousin's ear, but not that quietly. "The man has a point, Humbert. They've been in the kitchen for hours preparing these."

The baron nodded before swallowing and had a bite each of the ravioli and eggplant. He took his time to consider each dish carefully before choosing his words. "Please don't doubt me when I say your offerings were excellent," he apologized to the other chefs. "I will be more than happy to write recommendations for the pair of you for your next interviews. But I requested 'Purple Nirvana', and Mr. Moon is the one that delivered precisely that."

With no remorse, he turned his attention back to the pie.

"But this isn't _fair_!" the ravioli cook nearly wept, but Muta had come prepared for this moment.

He pulled a thick white handkerchief out of his pocket and extracted two clean spoons before offering them to the losers with a smirk. "One bite, and _then_ tell me he's not being fair."

Scowling angrily, the eggplant chef snatched a spoon first and barely scraped the exposed side of the pie so that he only had a taste. Before the ravioli chef even got her spoon, he slammed his utensil on the tablecloth and began stomping out of the large room and out of the manor.

The little woman's scoop was a bit bigger, but at least she was a little more dignified when she left the dining hall without a word, although there were tears.

A little curiously, Toto helped himself to a neglected spoon next to his cousin's plate and reached over the table.

Muta couldn't help smirking as he slid the platter holding his pie close enough for the man to also take a taste.

His eyebrows shot up almost immediately, and he dragged the platter close enough for the noble to take a seat next to his cousin to demolish the pie himself. "I really should know better than to doubt you by now, Humbert. We're keeping the fatso."

Muta immediately bristled. " _Fatso_?" he growled ominously.

"Do not scare this cook away, Toto," the baron ordered before looking up at his new employee with a warm smile. "Please pay no mind to my cousin. He thinks he's droll."

Muta sniffed while still glaring at the dark-haired noble. "I'll say right here and now I'm no punching bag. I give even better than I can take, and I don't take prisoners in a fight or the kitchen."

He could hear at least a few servants behind him choke at such words, but the baron's smile only deepened.

"Excellent. I prefer people who aren't afraid to stand up for themselves." The baron finished his pie and gestured for the tin. "Let me get another piece before you devour the whole thing, Toto."

"Make me," his cousin managed around a contented mouthful, making Muta laugh before swiftly reaching across the table and lifting the pie tin with two fingers since the noble had a fierce grip on the platter.

"Hey!" Toto complained as Muta helpfully slid another large slice onto _his lord's_ plate.

Just to irritate the man, the large cook gave him a smug smirk, since it wasn't likely that the baron would let his cousin get back at him for this.

At least living here wasn't going to be boring. He'd have to remember this recipe if any local baking contests come up.


	18. The Joys of Parenthood

A/N: I got a little hyped up about the Birthday Bash and started writing the prompts that I was hoping would win the vote. I used the logic that even if my votes lost, I could always just post the 'extra' fics later.

This is later.

This is the distant epilogue to All I Have Needed.

18\. The Joys of Parenthood

" _Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!_ " rang through the corridors in a long joyous echo from the kitchen of the von Gikkingen manor.

" _Happy birthday, little Natsu! Happy birthday to… you!_ " was sung out by everyone who could crowd into the large kitchen.

Well, nearly everyone. Haru had contented herself with signing the words while gazing happily at her baby sister who was smiling and slapping her tiny hands on the tray of her booster chair.

Muta couldn't resist the chance to press a kiss against his baby's red-brown hair while setting a tiny slice of Nirvana pie in front of her. "Have fun with your mess, pumpkin."

Natsu squealed with delight as her hand splatted the slice into purple mush, but at least she was bringing the mess to her mouth. Then she started hyperventilating and almost bouncing in her booster chair with glee in her large brown eyes.

"I see good taste runs in the family," Baron couldn't keep from laughing as he gave his wife a gentle squeeze around the shoulders.

All Haru could do was nod and lean against him in perfect contentment.

"You won't sing, even for your sister's birthday, my lady?" Alanna asked with disapproval from her place next to Matthew.

"She's fine," Baron wasted no time defending while covering Haru's open ear with his gloved hand.

"She's more than fine," Muta added just as hastily with an apologetic grin to his older daughter as he continued cutting and setting slices of Nirvana pie onto plates for everyone else to enjoy, starting with Toto's children and the two cats waiting patiently on the table. "The only time I want her singing is in emergencies."

" _Thank heaven_ ," Lune moaned before enthusiastically licking at his slice of pie. "I think my ears are still ringing from last year."

Haru couldn't resist a wicked giggle as Baron winced at the memory, and for more reasons than the horrible screeching he remembered.

Muta was remembering that night as well as Haru translated that statement for those who had not visited the Cat Kingdom and permanently gained the ability to talk to cats. He could distantly hear an appreciative laugh from most of the humans in the room but couldn't make himself care.

That… horrible, dreadful time when he had almost lost the second love of his life. He looked down at Natsu, once again overwhelmed by the heavy resemblance between her and her older sister as she made a bigger mess of herself and her first birthday dessert.

He had never gotten to do this with Haru. He had been on the other side of the planet for the first seventeen years of her life. Her first steps, her first word, the first chance to whip that Kamui brat for harassing his daughter her first day in kindergarten… he had literally missed out on everything.

Naoko gently removed the pie server from his hand before he knew what she was up to. "Paul, could you take over serving the pie?" she asked with a weak smile.

The other cook must have seen the look on Muta's face, because he took the server without question and gently shooed his friend away from the most convenient place to serve up his famous pie.

Naoko was gentle but insistent as she gripped her husband's arm and led him out of the kitchen and down a few doors into a broom closet to keep their conversation private.

Muta couldn't help a reminiscing smile at the small space as she closed the door behind them. "This brings back memories."

Naoko couldn't help grinning as she turned to face him. "As I remember, we would have started kissing if that custodian didn't need floor cleaner."

Muta laughed as his eyes faded over a thousand miles away. "It was one way to help you avoid another date with that creep. We really should have seen 'us' coming."

Naoko beamed up at him with so much love. "I was already hoping by then that it would." Then she reached up with both hands to cradle his face between them. "Honey, we were both stupid back then. I know it's hard to let go of all the mistakes we made, but we need to. For our daughters if not for us."

His shoulders slumped in depression. "She _needed_ me. Wanted me. Wished I would show up and take her and you away probably every day of her life."

Naoko looked down and adjusted her hold to as much of his middle as her arms could handle. "But I'm the one that knew it and said nothing. Not even after she slipped those papers into the mail." She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against him. "I think it took me a month to look Haru in the eye after that."

Muta couldn't resist the need to take his wife into his arms and hold her close. "… I just feel so guilty. Changing Natsu's diapers, helping her eat, cradling her to sleep every night. Haru never got that from me."

"Isn't it wonderful that she isn't the jealous type?" Naoko breathed happily as she rubbed her face against her husband's chest. "She's already told us repeatedly that she's glad Natsu isn't getting her childhood, and…" The red-headed woman chewed her lower lip in frustration before forcing herself to say the next part.

"Haru turned out surprisingly well, all things considered. Her painting career is thriving, she's happily married into a good family-"

"Still not happy that he's our age," Muta grumbled under his breath.

"But he _is_ good to her," Naoko reminded him, clearly still not happy for the same reason her husband was. Then her lips twisted into a more genuine smile. "Plus she doesn't look half-bad as a werecat."

Muta had no choice but to agree on that point. "Her purr is definitely easier on the ears than her attempts to sing. Thank heaven Lune knew a way to lessen the pain of their transformations. I just couldn't take it if I knew she was screaming in pain two to four times a month. I don't care how soundproof her rooms with Baron are. I would know, and it would just…"

Naoko nodded before getting on her tiptoes to kiss him. He had to lean over to still make it work, but he never complained about needing to.

"Haru insists that she's moved on. We should follow her example."

Muta tiredly nodded, giving his wife one more hug before maneuvering her just enough so that he could open the door. "We'd better head back. We still want to look everyone in the eye after today, so no making out in the broom closet when people will come looking for us if we don't return."

"Oh, poo," she half-jokingly pouted, hugging him like she never wanted to let go.

The huge cook had to say that he was feeling a lot better as he and his wife walked back to the kitchen. He still felt guilty, naturally, but Naoko was right. Haru had moved on and was all the stronger for it. Even though he would have sacrificed a limb to have been a better protector to her, Muta was beyond proud that his oldest daughter was so firm about rejecting the 'damsel in distress' role that more than one creep had tried to force on her.

Almost everyone had a slice of pie by the time Muta and Naoko returned to the kitchen. Their hearts could only swell with joy when they saw Haru very carefully using a spoon to scrape the excess pie off her sister's face.

"One of the greatest commandments is 'thou shalt not waste good food'," she informed Natsu lovingly as the baby happily opened her mouth wide for the pie scrapings.

Baron was watching from barely two feet away, holding his wife's plate as well as his own as he patiently waited to eat with her. But there was a certain ache in his own eyes, one that wished there had been a chance for Haru to behave like this with a child of their own.

Despite the young Cat King's efforts, he hadn't been able to reverse _that_ damage his kinscat had inflicted.

"We can take over that, Chicky," Muta offered, but Haru shook her head stubbornly as she scraped what she could off of the booster seat's tray.

"Eat your own pie. I've wanted to do this for a sibling since I was younger than Tanya."

"I'm not that young! I'm seven now," Toto's small daughter pouted as she tried to keep her messy two-year-old brother from her slice of pie.

"You're young enough," Haru informed her niece with a loving smile over her shoulder before returning to her baby sister.

Muta couldn't help but feel his chest swell with pride again as he and his wife also took a plate each of his famous pie. He couldn't help feeling grateful for this recipe. It had landed him this safe haven from the Jirashi family when they tried to wreck his happiness after he finally wizened up, and it was the same one that had won him the contest that had been in Naoko's papers for her to contact him.

That made him stop cold while licking his fork from the first bite. "Chicky?" he asked out of nowhere. "Where did you find the article on the baking contest to slip your mother?"

Haru blinked and looked up at him as she tried to wipe off her sister with a damp cloth. "I thought I told you."

"Actually, dear, that was me," Baron reminded her with a gentle smile.

"And me," Yuki added while licking her plate clean as her own husband did the same.

Haru thought that over before nodding. "Yeah, you're both right. Mom and Dad never asked before now. Hey, Mom, didn't you find it suspicious that I was working on a school report about England at about the same time you got those papers seven years ago?"

Naoko flinched guiltily. "I didn't pay attention to it before the papers, but yes, I noticed."

Their daughter's smile turned a little mischievous as she pressed a kiss to her sister's head. "Have you ever noticed when surfing the internet that sometimes random things that have nothing to do with your search pop up?"

Naoko made a comprehending sound as a few of the other people in the room gave scattered noise of agreement.

Spilling a handful of dry cereal on the tray to keep Natsu busy while she enjoyed her own slice of pie, Haru rejoined her husband and took the plate he offered her. "Of course, if I had known how long you were going to delay contacting him, I'd have marched myself to a pay phone and said something like 'Hi, I'm the daughter Muta doesn't know he has. Would you please get him on the phone so I can let him know how miserable my mom and I are without him?'" Haru gave a long sigh as Baron wrapped a comforting arm around her. "I bet you used a pay phone to call him. That jerk probably had both of our phones bugged before the salesman even handed them over, and he didn't have anything prepared to stop Dad from taking us here."

Naoko nodded as her face became clouded with guilt and shame.

Seven years. That was seven years he could have had his little girl instead of two. Muta ruefully concluded that his wife hadn't put things behind her as confidently as she had been trying to tell him. His hands were full of pie and fork as were hers, so he settled for nuzzling her soft red hair with one cheek to remind her that things hadn't turned out so bad, all things considered.

They were all together for this special day, for one thing. That in itself was nothing short of a miracle.


	19. Soul Mates Part 3

19\. Soulmates Part Three

Under the prompt Cellphones/Technology

"So who's the guy?" Hiromi asked without any pretense after she and her best friend found outside seats at their favorite café.

Haru jumped guiltily on her side of the little table. "Uh, who?" she asked with an uneasy smile.

Hiromi gave a scornful laugh while smugly lacing her fingers together so that she could rest her chin on them. "Haru, I'm not stupid. Up until last month, you thought your phone was for playing the occasional game or checking the time. Now every time it vibrates, you blush and try to hide your grin. Who do I thank for luring your attention away from Machida?"

Haru tried very hard not to blush, but honestly had no idea on how to successfully do it. "I… got a pen pal," she managed evasively.

She had _**no**_ idea how she said that with a straight face.

"A _boy_?" Hiromi coaxed like a child, wiggling excitedly in her seat in the same fashion. "Why haven't you mentioned him before now?"

' _Because you'd want to know how we met, and I'm not going to let you turn my arm into a school scandal?'_ She traced a circle on the plain white table's surface. "It's been a very slow, hesitant thing, and you fly off the handle. Especially where boys are concerned."

"Well," Hiromi replied without a trace of shame or guilt. " _Boys_ ," she stated as if nothing more needed to be explained. "So. His name?"

Haru sighed and adjusted how she was sitting. "All right, if I tell you his name, you'll calm down about this."

Hiromi eagerly nodded and was about to say something when Haru's cellphone pinged with a text.

Now that her friend had mentioned it, Haru could now feel her face flare with heat as her mouth automatically began grinning. Without even thinking about it, Haru reached for her purse, but her lunch companion snatched it first.

"Hiromi!" Haru shrieked in protest, immediately standing up to take it back, but the sandy blonde was already tossing her the purse and opening up the lock on Haru's phone.

"Oh, just let me see what he says to make you smile like that!" the snooper pleaded while leaning back in her chair to play keep away.

Stiffening her jaw, Haru prayed that the connection was still active as she grabbed a pen out of her bag to write on her wrist from under the table.

 _Hiromi stole my phone. Please prank her for me._

 _ **As you wish**_ wasted no time appearing beneath it.

"Oh, this is too _precious_!" Hiromi cooed as she looked over the last few days' worth of messages. "'Baron', huh? Is he usually so polished when he talks to you?"

Haru's blush was no longer delighted. "Hiromi. This is why I don't tell you anything. Give back the phone before you see something that scars you."

Hiromi scoffed but didn't take her eyes off the phone. "Please. This guy couldn't send you something scarring if-" She cut herself off as the phone pinged with another message. She scrolled back down to see what it was and _squealed_ like she was going to suffer a 'cuteness' overload.

While her friend was distracted, Haru snatched her phone back and slapped Hiromi's wrist for good measure. "You could have chosen a better way to tell me I need to switch my phone lock," she snarked, looking down at what Baron had texted to make Hiromi lose control.

 _ **Or we could save time and get married. I would not object.**_

" _Baron_!" Haru fumed, but the damage was done.

"Taking it slow, huh?" Hiromi gushed with a wicked grin, but blinked as her friend grabbed her bag, slung it over her shoulder, and started walking away from their table. "Hey, where are you going?"

Haru turned her head enough to snap over one shoulder. "Away until you can respect my privacy!" Just to make sure that her friend got the idea of how upset she was, Haru started running down the street.

"Don't be so dramatic!" Hiromi called, a bit of scraping noise from her chair stating that she was also leaving her seat to follow but didn't have the practice running that her friend did.

This was the exact sort of thing that Haru wanted to avoid. Her lungs were heaving more from rage than from the exertion of running down streets and intentionally choosing the route that Hiromi would be least likely to go down in pursuit.

After a while, she noticed a small book shop that she had never stepped into before. Since there were no bright colors or recent posters taped to the glass to attract her flighty friend, Haru let herself in.

A sweet-looking old man looked up from the bookshelf he was dusting. "Hello. May I help you find something?"

Since Haru didn't see the point of lying, she gave him a tired smile while intentionally walking to an inner aisle to get out of sight from the windows. "I'm looking for sanctuary from a friend that doesn't understand boundaries. Mind if I look around?"

He gave a small sigh of complete understanding before going back to his dusting. "Stay as long as you like."

"Thanks," she replied gratefully before ducking her head enough to keep from being seen. Pulling her phone out of her bag, she ignored a text from Hiromi to tap on Baron's number instead of going into their texts.

It only rang twice before he picked up.

" _If this is not Haru, I will be very disappointed."_

Despite herself, her heart skipped happily at the sound of his voice. "I said prank HER, not me too!" she tried to hiss under her breath to keep the storekeeper out of the conversation.

Baron had a little too much amusement in his tone to be apologetic. _"Ah. You should have been a little more precise. But at least she gave your phone back."_

"What on earth possessed you to say **that** out of all things? I've _told_ you that Hiromi can't keep a secret; the whole school will think we're engaged by this time tomorrow!" Haru took in a deep, steadying breath, since this is one thing they had never actually discussed. "I don't know about you, but I've been fighting tooth and nail not to draw hasty conclusions about how we came in contact."

" _Then you're the most rational person in this business. People on my end wasted no time drawing conclusions. But now that the subject has come up, is there any way that your mother would agree to let you spend your summer break in England?"_

Haru's heart froze in panic and excitement. She knew she should have expected this, but it seemed a little out of sequence.

They hadn't even exchanged selfies yet. Haru would consider herself passable but couldn't shake the feeling that Baron was at least an eight.

" _It_ _is_ _the simplest solution to finding out if Grandmother's assumptions are founded or not, and I would very much like to meet you in person. I will be more than happy to pay for your airline ticket."_

Haru started tracing the book spines with one hand thanks to the nervous pit in her stomach. "I'm a little afraid that you won't like me as much in person," she forced herself to confess as one title teased at the corner of her eye.

She ignored that in favor of listening to her friend's warm laugh. She smiled, feeling the same as if he had wrapped a blanket around her.

" _I hope that suffices as my response to such a statement. As to that fear, wouldn't it be better to find out now instead of later?"_

He had a point there. Baron was first-grade friend material, so even if she wasn't interested in him later, she would at least stop worrying about whether or not he could be what he had convinced Hiromi he was?

You're the most rational person in this business. That had to mean that he _did_ think that they were supposed to…

Haru blushed but tried to keep her status as the most rational person. "I honestly don't think Mom will agree to that. She knows you're a man, and no matter how much I tell her that you're too honorable to hurt me, she'd probably prefer for me to go on that quilt cruise with her instead since she has that teaching job for it. I don't know if she's bought the tickets for both of us yet."

" _Do you want to meet me?"_ Baron asked a little wistfully. He seemed to know the answer but needed to hear it for himself.

Haru laughed nervously at her own feelings. "I'm a bit terrified, but I think it's going to haunt me if I don't get to personally see you at least at some point. That's just how I think a single mother will react about her only family going to another country on her own."

He hummed thoughtfully into her ear as that same book title nibbled at the edge of Haru's vision. She relented and pulled the book out to inspect it more carefully.

" _That is a fair point, I suppose. Would you be terribly offended if I hung up and consulted with Grandmother over this? She may think of something we haven't yet."_

Haru nodded distractedly from her half-crouched position, still studying the red book in her hand. "If she's half as clever as you like to brag about, she'll know what to do. Baron, before we hang up, what can you tell me about The Canterville Ghost? I'm hiding in a bookstore from Hiromi, and-"

" _Buy it. It's an excellent satire that you will enjoy at least as much as The Ghost of Captain Gregg and Mrs. Muir. Let me know when you finish it so that we can have another excellent book dissection together."_

Haru smiled happily at the prospect as she tucked the book under her arm. "You're the best, Baron. Let me know if your grandmother thinks of something."

She felt a lot better about things after talking to him and tucking her phone back into her bag. Sure, it was his fault that no matter how upset Haru was, Hiromi **would** be spreading the 'engagement' to anyone that would listen, but it wasn't like she had boys lining up for her attention anyway.

Haru thought about that more carefully as she continued to peruse the books, occasionally grabbing one that looked promising or had heard Baron mention in passing.

Her new friend had been happy when she admitted that he was the first man she'd had a decent conversation with since losing her father. He was… unbelievably easy to talk to. Just thinking about him made a giddy smile grow in her heart as well as her face.

' _Keep a grip on yourself, Haru. Do you really want to get crushed later if this is all just an act?'_

Haru's head bumped against something softer than a bookshelf as she continued to inch her way down the aisle. "Sorry!" she automatically apologized while standing to her full height again.

It was the storekeeper, smiling gently at her. "He'll like you," he stated without hesitation.

Haru blushed hard since she had been hoping he wouldn't overhear. "He laughed when I said that," she admitted while looking down at the five books she picked. "I think I'm ready to check out."

He beamed and led her to the register. He couldn't resist looking at her choices as he rang them up. "You're certainly interested in the classics!"

Haru couldn't resist blushing again. " _His_ influence," she admitted with a sheepish grin. "He likes what I recommend to him, too."

"Oh? What do you recommend to him?" the old storekeeper asked, but never got an answer.

Probably due to the ringing phone from inside her purse.

Giving the grinning man a sheepish smile of apology, Haru yanked out her phone to answer it. "Well? Did she have any ideas?" she asked while handing over the money that the register said that the store needed.

" _Grandmother agrees with your assessment. Would you be willing to let_ _ **her**_ _talk to your mother about it?"_

Haru actually stopped in the middle of accepting the change. "That would probably go over a lot better. How convincing would you say your grandmother is?" she asked while accepting the books back in a paper bag.

The storekeeper was openly grinning again, giving her an encouraging nod for a goodbye before holding the door open for her. She grinned back at him, though her own smile was a bit more foolish than his as she kept one hand on her new books and the other holding the phone to her ear.

" _As soon as you make the introductions between them, I would advise you to start packing for an English summer. Sweaters and at least one umbrella would be strongly advised."_

Haru tried not to crack a smile as she began the walk home. "Mom's successfully talked down her boss's boss from a very stupid decision that would have put their magazine out of business inside a year. She did it so diplomatically that she accidentally got a promotion out of it. Are you sure your grandmother can take her?"

" _I can tell from her expression that she overheard everything. You have increased Grandmother's respect for your mother, Haru. But I would still recommend putting things in order for a trip to England."_

Haru smiled shyly as she continued her walk home. "Text me her number. I'll explain the situation to Mom, and we'll see what happens from here."


	20. Trick or Treat

A/N; This is the implied scene in Beholder's Eye when Baron fetches Muta from the Human World to finish atoning for hurting Haru.

20\. Trick or Treat

 _Your Chicky is safe, and in good hands._

Muta would have framed the horribly written words if he had felt like carrying a frame everywhere he went. He just couldn't leave the words alone, staring at them as days slowly bled into weeks and the season began to change.

His sweet little Haru. The only daughter he would ever get. Now that he didn't get to see her every day, this pathetic scrap of loose leaf was the most precious possession that he had.

He heaved a sigh as he stayed in the top part of the lighthouse, reading the words over and over as the blinding light passed over his bulk over and over as it rotated, sending his shadow over the ocean waves that his Chicky spent countless hours sailing and loving.

This pathetic town didn't deserve either of them. Muta had known that since before he joined the navy. If not for the tiny scrap of hope that this piece of paper gave him… well. The one who gave it to him understood his pain. The oversized lighthouse keeper wasn't sure how much longer he could force himself to plow through these horrible townspeople, even with this drop of hope to sustain him.

And chocolate. He absently opened the wrapper on his latest candy bar and began chewing slowly. It wasn't like Haru was around to make cookies anymore, and he didn't have the energy to make them himself anymore.

His thoughts were still on his ocean angel when something crashed against one of the glass windows.

The large man jumped at the sudden sound, broken out of his sweet daydream about Haru's first steps to wheel around. He was almost immediately blinded by the light but ran across the small room to see what had hit the window that now had a long crack in it.

There was an insistent tapping on the window he was just at, making him wheel around to be blinded again.

Even through his light-struck gaze, there was no question of what he saw. Feeling his heart leap out of its coffin, he grinned and turned again to the closest window. He opened it as wide as he could and backed away enough so that his guests could enter his domain.

Just like Haru had seen before her disappearance, a dressed-up cat was riding the large black crow that had undeservedly gotten his cookie.

That orange and cream kitten clumsily fell off the crow, making it caw with some amusement. The poor cat's top hat had fallen off, making him clumsily use his paws to set it back on its usual perch.

"And where have you two been?!" Muta demanded while getting to his knees. "I've been waiting for months to get more news! Where is my Chicky?!"

The kitten looked at him warily, but still walked closer to arch his back and show off the packet of letters that were securely tied around his middle and over a nice grey suit jacket.

The knot holding them was a little small for Muta's thick fingers, but he was able to get it undone without hurting the kitten. He saw almost immediately that the letters were numbered and would require delicate handling. What he thought at first were folded papers were actually several smaller papers glued together to make a sheet that was a comfortable size for him to handle.

He wasted no time unfolding the first paper while switching to a more comfortable seating position, but he had to squint a little since the handwriting was a bit tiny for him.

But at least it was neater than the scrawled message he had found months ago.

 _To business;_

 _Haru is completely fine. She misses you desperately, and that is why we're here. Please understand that all of our heads will roll if my king finds out what I'm up to._

 _Your little Chicky fulfilled the first half of the Cat Kingdom's most ancient prophecy when she rescued Prince Lune from those-_

Muta was privately amused to see scratched up words as the kitten had struggled to find a good enough insult for those brats.

 _-monsters that were never worthy to cross paths with her, but the second half entails that she absolutely must live the rest of her days in the Cat Kingdom. If you think ill of me for being the one to ensure it, I think it will benefit you to know that Haru wouldn't have lived past All Hallows' Eve if she had stayed in your world. My guess is that the monsters would have been responsible, but I'm glad to never know since she has accepted me as a friend, and I am more than honored to call her one as well._

Muta had to switch to the second page to keep reading.

 _You are what Haru regrets the most about leaving the Human World behind, and I can't bear her grief any longer. I will be more than happy to give you better details when you desire them later, but here is the meat of our odd situation; the king can't know that I'm inviting you to live in the Cat Kingdom as well. He is foul-tempered enough to kill all of us since he cares nothing for Haru's happiness. Even his own son's happiness means nothing to him._

Muta's eyebrows shot up with surprise.

 _You will not be able to publicly acknowledge your kinship with her, and I will require an oath of nonviolence to the royal family. I fully intend to pass you off as her bodyguard. Not that she necessarily needs one, but since I am in charge of instructing her in the ways of courtly manners, I can brush it off as you carrying out her orders rather than taking care of incidentals by herself._

 _I have a piece of enchanted jewelry that can turn you into a cat, but it will also permanently banish you from the Human Kingdom. I can give you instruction and whatever else you require to convince those at the capitol that you came from one of the towns I preside over. Haru still has a difficult path before her, but I think it would mean the world to her if she knew you were literally standing behind her as well as figuratively._

Muta was on the last page now.

 _If the answer is yes, please follow myself and Toto to the portal. We need to be quick so that no one from the castle spots us when we reenter the Cat Kingdom and head back home. I would normally say something about understanding if you choose not to accept my offer, but from the way Haru speaks of your bond, I have little fear of a rejection._

 _Please hurry,_

 _Baron Humbert von Gikkingen_

The large human looked up from his reading with a sly grin for the kitten. "So. You want to give me back my favorite job, huh?"

That tiny cat nodded with an insistent mew.

Muta gave one stretch with his arms before gathering the kitten into his arms. "Just let me grab a few things from the house and we can go. No, I'm not hurting him!" he snapped as the crow cawed angrily and began flying around his head. "Just meet us outside, you bird brain! The stairs are too narrow for you to fly down!"

Giving him a suspicious glare, the large crow instead plopped itself down on the man's large shoulder with a certain firmness.

Muta winced as the talons bit into his flesh slightly but decided he could pay the bird back later as he walked away from his post, his home, and his entire world.

He never once looked back.


	21. Guilty

A/N; Catsafari posted a Cat Returns/Princess Bride movie trailer she did, deliberately using As You Wish as her inspiration. I was so heavily amused by her casting choices that it inspired me to write this. I already had a rough idea, but she gave me the juice to actually write it down.

21\. Guilty

Haru refused to be dragged. Holding her head high like she had been crowned after all, she walked like a lady into the crowded throne room.

Everyone turned dead silent at the sight of her, almost forgetting to breathe as she steadily made her way down the open floorwork at a slightly faster pace than she had done only the day before in a flowing white gown and a rainbow's worth of jewels on her throat and forearms.

Only the chains on her hands and ankles could have put any doubt on her rank. She had even been allowed to keep some of the nice clothes that had been forced on her.

Since she wanted no doubts on herself, she had gone out of her way to pick the plainest dress in her wardrobes that hadn't been a nightgown; a simple blue dress with only a little bit of lace on the cuffs and collar for decoration. She stood calmly in front of her new monarch, surrounded by guards that were there more for effect than because anyone thought they could actually hold her against her will.

Lune, the newly crowned king, was still pale and tired from the sudden loss. Despite his personal grief, he gave the young woman in front of him a sad apologetic look as he sat on his father's throne. "Haru Yoshioka, you stand accused of killing King Phoebus-"

"Guilty," she stated in a loud clear tone, not interested in standing through the entire kangaroo trial. "Don't bother pretending I have a way out. I killed him as I reached the altar, I'm not sorry, and he was asking for it."

"Ah ha, see?!" one advisor screamed while pointing a finger at her. "She's confessed! She's guilty!"

Lune rolled his eyes with a groan. "Stand down, Jigo. We already knew." He gave Haru an extremely apologetic look. "The entire kingdom knows he was asking for it. But while the penalty for regicide is well-known, I think you have been put through enough."

Haru blinked as confused talk began bubbling from the royal court. _'Wait, he can't do this.'_ "Um, your majesty-"

"I will _not_ tolerate disputes!" Lune declared at the top of his lungs, proving that he did inherit some little of his father after all. "We all know that Haru Yoshioka was backed into a corner. There are more than enough witnesses that my father would not take a polite or even impolite refusal. I refuse to call for her execution."

He gave his new friend a gentle smile despite the furious uproar from the surrounding gentry. "Instead, I will sentence her for life to a location of my own choosing. I'd openly declare it now, but I'm certain that at least a few of my subjects had a certain fondness for my father, and there's no point in signing _their_ death warrant as well. This 'trial' is concluded. Disperse."

"You can't do this! It's the law!" a count nearly shrieked.

" **Disperse!** " King Lune bellowed in a way that would have made his father proud. He had to stand to his full height to do it, and he was clumsily undoing the clasp of his thick royal cape to leave it on the throne. "That means the guards as well! I will escort the prisoner myself!"

There were still angry mutterings as the richly dressed court slowly flowed out of the large throne room, but the young king was clearly not paying attention to them.

Instead he approached his friend to clasp her hands with barely a flinch. "Come along, Haru. I don't want your last hours here to be in that cell."

The young brunette managed a somewhat baffled giggle. "I can't say I slept much in the cell." She took in a deep breath as he led her through the small door next to the throne that was usually reserved for advisors and the servants that waited exclusively on the royal family. Her words were low and worried, but not for herself. "Lune… you know there will be trouble for this."

"I don't care," he snarled under his breath. "My father…" He stopped briefly to get both his rage and grief under control. "My father…" Lune had to steady himself again before tightening his grip on Haru's hands and marching forward with determination. "As far as I'm concerned, he committed suicide. You were nothing more than his weapon of self-destruction."

Haru again tried to block out the memory of the richly dressed corpse at her feet. As if haunting her when he was alive wasn't bad enough, the old king continued to haunt her after his overdue death. "Just because we both know that doesn't mean the other kingdoms will. I know the common people will love you for this, but-"

"No buts," Lune insisted as he led his friend into the suite that Yuki was still occupying, since their own marriage had been delayed by the old king's demise.

The royal fiancée stopped pacing the room to offer them a weak smile. "The announcement went as expected?" the pale-haired woman asked as she used the key she had been toying with to unlock Haru's chains.

"Just about," Lune sighed as he collapsed on the closest couch like the mock trial had taken most of his strength. "Despite admitting to Father being a tyrant, the courtiers are still crying for her blood."

"I hope they cry themselves hoarse," Yuki snarled, making Haru sit on a divan with her so that the pale woman could tenderly rub her friend's red wrists.

"Oh, they probably will," Haru comforted her friend with a sad laugh. "Few things anger the gentry more than not getting their way. No offense, my friend," she added to the new king.

"None taken." He gave her a smile that he _had_ to have inherited from his mother. "I'm afraid that this will be a banishment, Haru. Yuki and I will never be able to see you after today. We can't risk anyone finding you. But your new keeper assures me that you're going to be perfectly happy at your new home."

Haru breathed sadly, knowing that her old home was lost to her forever. It would have been too obvious, and Hiromi would not have been able to keep it a secret without getting her mouth bricked shut.

It hadn't really felt like home since losing Humbert, anyway.

Yuki must have been able to read her thoughts, because she wrapped her arms around the poor girl. "Our first daughter will be named after you," she whispered, scooting a little further down the divan and taking the girl with her so that her fiancé could sit on the other side to also hug their friend and add his two cents with an angry smile.

"And the gentry can scream until they're mutes if they don't like it."

ooOoo

The plan was overdramatic, as far as Haru was concerned. But it had a high chance of working, so she pulled the black hood over her face as deeply as she could, tucked her hands inside the long black cloak so that only a bit of the white dress underneath was showing, and waited for the signal.

She was in a small room with only a guard for an attendant. He was securely blindfolded to keep from knowing who he was in the room with. There were eight guards like that, all in separate rooms along this corridor, and all with the same instructions.

Don't talk to the girl.

Keep the girl safe until the signal.

Open the door at the signal.

The church bells began ringing, making Haru shudder as she remembered her aborted wedding. They had seemed to mock her misery before, but now there seemed to be a note of promise in those bellowing tones.

At the sound of the bells, the guard blindly reached for the door handle and twisted it enough to open it for her. Haru hesitantly peeked to see where she was in the lineup.

There was a different soldier marching down the corridor at a measured pace that also reminded the poor girl of her unwanted wedding. He was carrying a torch and a blank expression. As he passed open doorways with cloaked women, they left their rooms to follow him at the same measured pace in a single line.

Haru was the sixth girl to leave her room and join the stately march. It wasn't long until she and the seven other girls were even moving the same foot as the soldier leading them.

Despite the need for it, the complete anonymity felt stifling. All of the girls pressed into being decoys had the same height and build as Haru, and they were all wearing the exact same dress of plain muslin underneath a long black cloak. Even their hair was tied back in a low ponytail underneath the hood so that nothing would be given away by a stray lock.

' _Just a little longer, Haru. Just a little longer.'_

There were two guards at the double doors leading outside the castle.

As each maiden made the transition from inside to outside, she was joined by guard that marched by her side down the steps leading to eight identical carriages that were plain enough not to attract unneeded notice from peasants.

The fact that it was nearing midnight would also help to discourage too many watchers.

When Haru passed through the doorway, she heard a small scuffling, like one soldier throwing one of his fellows behind him in order to forcefully join her. It was impossible to actually see it thanks to the deep hood that obscured everything but what was directly in front of her. She took in measured breaths, hoping that it was just impatience that drove the man now marching next to her.

All the maidens were covered and identical to even a probing eye. He had no way of knowing it was personally her.

As each maiden was helped into a carriage, the soldier accompanying her closed the door after her, climbed on the back, and signaled the driver to begin their trek.

Every single carriage was going to go in a separate direction after leaving the castle grounds, further complicating future attempts to pin down her location.

Even though Haru was sixth, the soldier at her side put one hand on her elbow to steer her past the sixth carriage and to the seventh one that had a much larger driver than the others. " _This is making it obvious,_ " she hissed at him from the corner of her mouth.

" _Sorry_ ," he apologized just as softly as he helped her into the carriage. " _You should have let the girl on the other side of the hallway go first._ " Then he closed the door securely, and she could hear the familiar noises of him walking around the carriage in order to climb onto the back.

But because the lineup got switched, they had to wait for the seventh girl to get in the sixth carriage and drive off. Although it was pitch black inside the carriage, Haru pulled back her hood with some relief before patting the seat down to get her bearings.

The seat was a bit deeper than she was expecting, and there was a thick woolen blanket waiting for her.

Since it was late, she went ahead and wrapped the blanket over her cloak for an extra layer of warmth and curled herself up on the seat to get some sleep as the coachman clicked his tongue at the horses, and they were on their way.

Her heart ached to lose her new friends as well as her old ones, but there wasn't anything she could do about it other than pray that the soldier riding the back of the carriage hadn't mistaken her. She yawned and used her arm for a pillow as the bumps in the road slowly rocked her to sleep.

' _I guess it doesn't matter that much if he got me wrong. I'll still be far away from the castle by morning._

ooOoo

Haru wasn't sure what was going on when she began waking up. The cushioning underneath her didn't feel like her sleeping mat from her childhood home. It wasn't anywhere near as soft as the gigantic bed she had been given while waiting for the king to put everything together for the wedding he was demanding out of her. It was softer than the cot in the cell after the 'wedding', though.

Haru reluctantly rubbed her eyes into opening with a loud yawn.

She was in the carriage still. But it wasn't moving. There was a tiny amount of light streaming in from the sides of the black curtains that had been pinned down to keep closed. Her head cocked to one side to listen, but couldn't make out anything other than birdsong.

"That's odd," she muttered under her breath as she rose to a sitting position and did the best body stretch she could manage, considering the tight quarters of the carriage. "I'd have thought they'd have woken me up if we got there."

Then again, she had been sleeping the night away. The soldier and driver hadn't been. Maybe they had made camp somewhere they weren't likely to be happened upon?

Without warning, a different sound assaulted her ears, making her gasp audibly.

It wasn't the same as birdsong, though perhaps in the same family. It was the song of her childhood.

There was only one person, living or dead, that could have played it for her.

Haru scrambled to stand up, banged her head on the low roof as a result, and forcefully twisted the carriage door open with a loud bang as it collided with the exterior. She stumbled out with wild eyes until she saw something that made her heart nearly jump out of her chest.

There he was. Humbert Gikkingen, leaning against one of the many trees in the forest surrounding them, and next to a river that wasn't so different from the one they used to wash and play in as children. The song was produced by the reed pipe he made some years after joining her family but long before he left to seek his fortune so that he could provide for her. His heart was in his green eyes as he watched her, waiting for her reaction to seeing him again as he continued to play for her alone.

Those were the only similarities to how things had been before he left. He was dressed much more finely than she had ever seen of him before, stating without words that he now had the money to marry her. But he wasn't as obnoxious about it as the courtiers she had been forced to talk to in the king's castle. Just a light grey suit that suited his pale skin and thick orange hair wonderfully.

Except… she couldn't see his skin anymore.

Against her will, Haru remembered every single story that Hiromi's grandmother used to tell the children of the village about the Sky Pirates. Part human, part animal, and all trouble.

Well, she already knew about that last part. While Humbert had been perfectly fine with following her lead growing up, not all the mischief they had gotten into as kids had been _her_ idea.

His new appearance made it clear that he did not heed her warnings about Sky Pirates. For reasons she would wring out of him later, he had joined up with them instead.

The weight of all those lost years between them came crashing down on her, and her hands felt like they were on fire from the blood she had been forced to spill to remain faithful to this sweet, though sometimes exasperating man that even Hiromi had urged her to move on from.

Still feeling very tired, Haru walked up to the cat man who had yet to take his slanted eyes off her and leaned down slightly in order to carefully pinch his reed flute between two fingers. It wasn't enough to cut off the sound, but it was enough to make him finish the song with a last trill.

Haru gently removed the flute before making herself comfortable on his lap just like old times and wrapped her arms around his neck, keeping the reed flute in one hand so it wouldn't get accidentally damaged. "I'll scream at you later for leaving me alone that long," she informed him in a too-steady tone before almost vengefully taking back her personal claim on his now furry lips.

From the way he was gripping her and taking his own claim on her lips, he was even looking forward to his scolding.

xxXxx

A/N; And as a small bonus since it was years after the fact that I realized this was a loophole:

Haru narrowed her eyes at the black-clad Sky Pirate that had stopped cold in his tracks from the new situation and set the stolen dagger against her 'kidnapper's throat. "Don't come any closer, or I'll run him through," she threatened half-seriously.

The cat man slowly shook his head in disbelief… and began laughing fit to kill.

Haru's eyes suddenly went as big as saucers as a slow gasp escaped her control.

She knew that laugh. She knew it better than her own name.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Natoru said helplessly as he flushed scarlet with embarrassment.

That only increased the Sky Pirate's laughter.

"On the contrary," Haru retorted with a dead certainty, leaving the captor for their pursuer. "I think this is _exactly_ what it looks like."

That made the cat man's guffaws die almost immediately as her hand ripped the black scarf from his head with an almost brutal enthusiasm.

It was Humbert. Although he had changed a lot since they had kissed each other goodbye all those years ago, she knew that golden hair, those vibrant green eyes… that guilty flinch when he realized that he was in trouble with her.

Haru stared at him, taking in his new fur coat, his twitchy triangular ears, and even spared a glance for his nervously swishing tail before look up into his worried eyes.

It took her a long minute to say anything to her childhood sweetheart. "What part of 'watch out for sky pirates' did you not understand, Humbert?" she asked almost cordially before bursting into a tirade.


	22. Post-Adventure Fun Times

A/N; Merry Christmas, raythecomputerart!

22\. Post-Adventure Fun Times

As much as Haru loved her mother, she couldn't help but feel glad that Naoko hadn't managed that second ticket in time to take Haru with her. Although quilts ran through the mother's soul like blood, the daughter could think of more enjoyable ways to spend most of her summer break than sitting behind a curtain and watching her mother give lecture after lecture in some hotel in China.

The first of which was sleeping in as late as she liked. After escaping the Cat Kingdom, Haru was willing to make the extra effort to get up at a decent time for school and be more responsible in general, but summer break was intended to be that; a _break_.

It must have been noon when the brunette finally forced herself to get up. She even considered the comfort of staying in her pajamas all day since her mother wasn't around, but ultimately gave in for one of her favorite t-shirts and decent slacks just in case she needed to answer the door.

It would just be her luck to be wearing pajamas if the delivery man came by with another package for her mother.

She yawned while carefully stepping down the small stairs and into the kitchen. Since Haru didn't feel like washing dishes later, she made cinnamon sugar toast with her daily experiment on tea, an orange and cinnamon blend that turned out well enough to her to put a star next to that recipe.

Munching happily, Haru wandered into the small living room. _'I don't have to dodge fabric squares or pins!'_ she thought with contentment while deciding to indulge herself just a bit more. She turned on the tv, made the necessary adjustments, and retired to her couch with her favorite controller.

She brushed the remaining sugar dust off her fingers on her shirt, finished her cup of tea, and started her game.

Haru wasn't huge into video games, but she liked having the option open when in the right mood. Heaven knows she probably wouldn't have been able to play them in the Cat Kingdom, especially if she had needed to get used to paws first.

A shudder wracked her body, distracting her at just the right moment for her character to die on screen.

"It didn't happen," the poor teenager told herself firmly, starting again from the beginning. "I was born a human, and I'm going to die a human."

Her heart seemed to sink a bit at the declaration, making her sit there in confusion while her character just stood at the first bit of the first level, waiting for her to make him move.

Without warning, a tapping sound came from the glass of her kitchen window. Since there wasn't so much as a tree near that window, Haru set aside her controller to go see what it was.

One glance, and her heart leaped back into her chest where it belonged. "Toto!" she cried happily, racing for that window to let him in.

Thanks to the size of that window, the large crow had to fly in a big loop before zooming through with his wings close to his sides.

As the black bird flew past her into the living room, Haru's heart began dancing unsteadily in her throat.

Baron had flashed her a grin from his familiar perch on Toto's back.

' _Thank_ _ **heaven**_ _I got dressed!'_ "Where's Muta?" Haru asked to distract herself from her own emotions.

"Check your front door," Toto hinted, flying once around the room before settling himself on the back of one of the dining chairs.

Haru wasted no time racing for the front door and opening it wide.

"That took you long enough," the fat white cat griped at her as he nearly waddled into her home.

"I've missed you too," she laughed, knowing by now that his grumpy nature was nothing to take injury to. She then turned to see Baron swinging himself off Toto's back to stand on the table she usually ate her meals on. "I've missed all of you. Is something up?" she asked while shutting the door.

Baron flashed her a smile while removing his beloved top hat. "Just calling on a friend. We noticed that your mother doesn't seem to be home; how much time do we have?"

"Three more days. She's out of town for a conference," she assured him while taking back her seat on the couch.

"Good. The Refuge has been pretty boring lately," Muta admitted while hopping onto the couch next to her and laying his head on one of her legs.

It could have been Haru's imagination, or perhaps just wistful hoping, but she could have sworn that Baron looked just a bit upset when she reached over with one hand to start scratching Muta's neck and back in response to his silent plea for attention.

"I certainly won't complain about having you guys around. But if you and Toto start feeling the urge to get into a fight, you have to take it to the back yard," she informed the large cat with a steely tone, making sure to keep eye contact with the crow when she said it. "I don't want Mom thinking that I threw a party without asking her first."

" _ **I**_ won't start anything," Toto promised, smirking at the fat cat who could only growl in response.

Baron looked at the tv to see where the upbeat mechanical music was coming from. "A game, I presume?"

"It's one of the classics," Haru assured him with a grin, though now she was considering moving Muta's head from her leg so that she could shut it off. "The idea of it is that you're a short guy trying to rescue a princess from the clutches of a bad guy that's incapable of leaving her alone, but you have to go through multiple worlds, power ups, minor lackeys that are ridiculously easy to defeat if you don't let them touch you, even some costume changes before challenging the bad guy and taking him down in a pretty humiliating way before winning the game."

Baron hummed with a fist to his chin, hooking his cane on an elbow in thought. "My, my. I wonder why that sounds familiar."

He gave her one smirk, and Haru flushed with embarrassment as that night once again came crashing down on her.

"Oh crud, I didn't think about… well… I was never a princess!" Haru reminded him with almost a desperate smile and silently wishing for the carpet to swallow her whole.

"But the 'bad guy' thought you had the potential," Toto reminded her with a sly grin. "Just yesterday Baron said-"

"So why don't you show us how the game is played, Haru?" the Cat Creation suddenly begged, cutting his equally immortal friend off with a warning glare that was rewarded with another smirk.

Even though it was impossible, Haru couldn't help but feel the fragile hope in her chest begin to bloom.

Since Muta was still on her leg, the teenager very carefully used her ankle to hook a leg of the chair Toto was on to slowly drag him to a better view of the tv. Baron used the seat of the chair to hop off the table and onto the couch with her.

Surely it was only an accident that he landed on Muta's stomach to make him grunt in pain before bouncing onto her lap.

That didn't stop Haru from gloating that her lap was Baron's property for the rest of the day.


	23. Comfort

A/N; Enjoy this prologue to the full-length story I'll start uploading in two weeks.

23\. Comfort

Haru didn't want to do this. She shouldn't _need_ to do this. It wasn't fair!

' _Being the better person stinks,'_ the village girl had no trouble admitting to herself, knowing that she'd never be able to voice it aloud as she moved through her little village's only street and to the tiny hut that had only recently become occupied.

She had to set this in place before telling Hiromi. As much as Haru loved her best friend, the flighty young woman had a certain gift for derailing conversations and make it a lot harder for Haru to say her piece before the occupants lost their patience and tossed them out.

Haru could feel her heart pitter-patter unsteadily as she approached the front door, but she forced herself to knock politely anyway.

The flimsy door opened a tiny crack, making a dark blue eye glare at her coldly. "What do **you** want?"

"Hello, Mai," Haru said with a polite smile while masking how she really felt about coming here. "I need to talk to Sakura for a moment, if she is available."

The older woman gave a dismissive scoff. "What if she doesn't want to talk to you? You're the reason we aren't being welcomed by most of the village, you know."

Large brown eyes closed against her will as a heavy sigh escaped her lips. "That's why I'm here. If she doesn't want to talk, that's fine, but there are some things I need to tell her. I don't mind if you listen in, and…" Haru had to brace herself for the next part. "If you find anything I say offensive, you can throw me out again. But it's very important that I talk to your niece before the other villagers do something stupid."

That last part made Mai hesitate, but at least the door reluctantly slid open. "Make it quick," the middle-aged woman ordered, giving way enough for the brunette to slip in.

Haru knew that she and her father weren't exactly well-off, but the little cottage they shared seemed like a palace compared to this single room hut. Nothing but the barest of necessities were present, and it only took a glance to see where Sakura was.

There was one rolled up sleeping mat leaning against the wall, but the other one was rolled out so that a young woman could lay on it, her back facing everything but the wall.

Haru's heart broke that even from the back, Sakura was prettier than her. There was no mistaking that delicate build, and the view only put her wealth of bouncy golden hair on full display. The visitor would have started tugging on her own plain brown locks if she didn't keep it up in a ponytail and out of her way.

Haru knelt by the pallet, reminding herself that she had practiced this speech for hours before coming. She had never been good with talking to strangers, but at least this was going to be easier than if Sakura or her aunt had been men.

Sakura didn't move a muscle, but her breathing patterns were subtly saying that she was fully awake and fully aware of who was behind her.

Haru took in another breath and spat out the most important thing she had to say.

"I don't have a claim on Machida."

That made Sakura start with surprise, and even sit up to attention after a long moment.

The front of her was even worse. Even after a crying spell, Sakura had more beauty in one finger than Haru had in her whole body.

She shook the thought away to clarify her statement. "I want to, the whole village knows about it. One of the joys of having a blabber mouth for a best friend," Haru grumbled under her breath before shaking her head again to get back on task. "But I have a hard time saying more than 'hi' in front of him. Until such time as I can hold a decent conversation with Machida, I can't really qualify as a rival, can I?"

That even surprised Mai.

Haru twiddled her thumbs nervously, glad that she at least had the niece and aunt's undivided attention. "I will freely admit that I would have been happier if you hadn't moved into our village, but you did. He saw you, he likes you, it's as simple as that. I'm not a part of what's going on, never mind what the elders or anyone else thinks about your courtship."

Sakura wiped the last tears from her eyes. "Then, why are you here if you aren't going to try to force me to leave?"

Haru started rubbing one arm as her nerves grew worse. "I think we need to be seen in public together," she blurted while staring at her lap. "Buy food, maybe do laundry by the river at the same time, look for wild herbs together with Hiromi, that sort of thing. Before _you_ get any ideas about me getting ideas," she added while pointedly looking at a worried aunt still standing by the closed door.

Not that there were very many other places to stand in their little hut.

"We all know full well that if something bad happened to Sakura while she's alone with me, I'd be held responsible even if it really was an accident. That would only cement Machida against me no matter what happened, so that will be plenty of incentive for me to keep her safe. If the villagers can see with their own eyes that I don't hate Sakura over Machida, that will make life a lot easier on both of you, and they will take my word more seriously when I defend her against the ones with nothing decent to say about either of you. It's not your fault that the elders picked a poor way to show that they like me."

"The whole _village_ likes you," Sakura corrected miserably. "They've been making that nice and clear since Machida started taking me on walks."

That hit Haru like a physical blow, and she had to wipe away a tear before it escaped her control. "If they like me all that much," she stated in a voice of iron. "Then they can show it by respecting my wish to let Machida… be with the one he wants." _'I hate my life! I hate doing this! I hate needing to go this far!'_

Sakura stared at the brunette like she could see past the other girl's careful guard. "… I don't think I could do this if the situation was reversed."

"But you can talk to him without any trouble," Haru pointed out in depression. "We still wouldn't be on even terms." She stared at the brown skirt covering her lap, knowing that she shouldn't invite disaster with what she had to say next. Yet, with how transparent she had struggled to be so far, she needed to lay down this one rule.

"I'm going to say this now so that I won't have to talk about it later. If… you and Machida…" She swallowed hard, but it did nothing for the lump in her throat or the heavy weight on her heart. "Don't expect me to be at the wedding. That… I won't be able to. Please understand."

Sakura nodded, surprising even herself when she reached forward to clasp the hand that she once thought belonged to her enemy. "Same thing if he marries you instead?"

Haru nodded her response, even though she couldn't shake the feeling that it wouldn't happen, now. Who on earth would bother paying attention to a plain girl like herself when there were girls like Sakura around? She squeezed that hand and did her best to force a smile on her lips. "Then all that's left is telling Hiromi what we're up to. One of the advantages of having a blabber mouth for a best friend is that she'll make sure everyone in the village is too busy talking about our arrangement to bother you or your aunt again. If they do, tell me, and I'll inform them to find a different hobby."

Sakura's smile beamed with gratitude. "You know… I don't think I'd mind losing to you."

Haru managed another weak smile and stood up while keeping their hands clasped. "Tomorrow's laundry day for me. Does noon seem like a decent time to walk with you to the river?"

The other girl nodded happily, also rising to her feet so that she could translate her appreciation with a hug. "I'll see you then. Thank you so much."

Haru's smile seemed a little more sincere this time, and she returned the embrace before letting herself out of the hut after giving the stunned aunt a respectful nod of the head.

Mai couldn't help staring after the young woman through the still open door. "No _wonder_ the elders are convinced she's a noble."


End file.
